It all starts innocently. On the first day of school, mom leaves you on your own for the very first time. You wail louder than ever for her not to leave you but to no avail. For the first few moments you wonder how you will cope on your own in a strange place. The teacher is smiling warmly at you but you can’t trust her yet – she’s not mommy, so you don’t smile back. There are many other children there. You just have to find the right ones to make friends with. Oh, there she is! The cute one with ribbons in her hair everyone is trying to talk to. So you walk up to her, your heart on your sleeves, smiling too, hoping she’ll like you. She barely glances at you and looks away to talk to someone else. For the first time you experience that sharp feeling that stabs at your heart and you know you have been rejected. Deep down inside you know it’s not going to be the last time.
That’s when you start telling yourself that all you need to do is be more like them. Maybe if you wear your hair like theirs, talk like them, and walk like them they’ll like you better. Then you start modeling your image to be an ideal person to be accepted by others. Before you say something you evaluate it to know if it’s something they’ll laugh at, or frown at, or something that will push people away from you. Until one day, you begin to wonder who the real you is.
Yes, it all starts innocently enough.
Some psychologists identified four separate and concrete components of authenticity that they could measure in a written test. The first, and most fundamental, is self-awareness: knowledge of and trust in one’s own motives, emotions, preferences, and abilities.
One great key to being you is – evaluating your strength: every one has a unique feature that distinguishes them from others. Find out your unique strength and emphasize it. If you already know your strength then you can begin to work on it. People will appreciate you more for it.
- Discover the things you enjoy doing (no matter how trivial it looks)
- Work at your talent each day
- Don’t be afraid to tell people what you’re good at
- When you achieve something by the use of your talent allow yourself to feel good. It reinforces your belief in yourself.
- When someone praises you, don’t point out your errors to them. There is nothing immodest about accepting praise graciously.
Some people say it’s better to hide the real you sometimes. What do you think?