Do women know what they want?

Ladies the fact is that we are very special. The very fragile hearts that distinctly differentiates us from the men and endears us to them is the same thing that has come to be our greatest undoing. Love, care and nurture come naturally to females.  Maybe it is because we grew up learning to use our hearts more often than our brains, maybe it is simply a biological or natural occurrence but in relationships we are so very different.

And so the question keeps ringing, ‘do women even know what they want?’ especially considering the spate of failed relationships caused by ladies who end up wallowing in regret for a lifetime. She just couldn’t wait any longer for the man she loved so she married the guy with the hummer jeep; she just couldn’t bear not to be the center of all her friends attention so she married the expatriate who practically lives in a night club; she is a good girl (she’s never even been in trousers before) yet she can’t live without this jeans-sagging, power bike riding dude that lives down the street; she has never been sure of what she wanted anyway so what the heck…just marry the first guy that says will you… Even if he didn’t complete the sentence; she’s waited for so long to meet the right man and her clock is close to midnight so she’s given up and has accepted to be a third wife. And so the question continues to ring, do women really know what they want?

We did a simple survey to determine if women really know what they want. I was quite satisfied with the result of the survey cos it showed me that women everywhere have minds of their own. We may have learned to bend our will to the whims and caprices of society but it has not eroded our aspirations or needs. Women are actually more intelligent than society sometimes gives them credit for. They are strong, untiring and unrelenting in their belief in love. Is it better to love or be logical? This question can as well be interpreted as ‘is it better to love like a man or like a woman’ since women tend to be emotional and men logical. Thank God some men in this generation have learned to embrace their emotional sides too.

I’ll blame it on two things: 1. Personality and 2. Society
Society has already laid down and mapped out the life of women especially in this part of the world where you must be dependent on a man, whether it is your father, brother or husband. So naturally, society has defined the role of women such that we are allowed little room to exercise choice. Would u waste time exercising the power of choice in a family where your father is reminding you everyday that you are increasing the number of mouths he has to feed? What about peer pressure when all your friends have gotten married and are flaunting their husbands’ gifts? I heard about a girl whose parents sent her out of the house when she finished her NYSC. She ended up going to live with the first man that asked her to marry him and he kicked the ball into the post, shouted ‘goal’ and left her heart broken. Did she not know what she wanted?

Then comes the issue of personality. Some ladies are actually very shallow minded. They have never actually sat down to think about the concept of marriage and its importance before diving headlong into it. Its all about the money he has, the effizy for their friends and the beautiful white dress that will make them the centre of attraction and did I forget to mention ‘madam of the house’?

I believe that the contemporary woman is strong and courageous, focused and knows what she wants. Life’s storms may blow you in different directions and threaten to swallow you up but can you just stay focused on your dreams and hopes for the future? My advice is, know what you want. It may not have an exact description but you have an idea. I told someone earlier that when you go to buy detergent from a shop, you might have a particular specification in mind but you don’t know the brand name so you keep searching the aisles, seeing different items that look like the one you have in mind but something tells you its not it…after several minutes of walking about (like I said, time is of essence) you may decide to pick one. Does it mean that you never knew what you wanted?

Ladies, dare to stand out.

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