The big R word that can affect any emotional being.
Tsk…tsk…everybody cringes at the smell of that word (ok I know a word can’t actually smell but…poetic license). No one wants to be at the receiving end of rejection. It is an integral desire of every person to be loved and accepted. Imagine standing with a group of people you admire and want to be friends with, the stab in your heart when they turn away from you giving you that ‘you are not our level’ look. Imagine staying up all night, compiling the presentation you want to make in your office and when it is time you find yourself stammering (as you always do when you are nervous) and they all laugh and move on to the next person. Imagine saying hello to someone you like and the person looks at you like a roach and walks away. Imagine the feeling you get when you receive a mail from the company you applied to for a job, saying you didn’t perform well at the test – ‘better luck next time’ and u felt you did so well at the test that day. What about when everyone else in your class get’s invited to the party and nobody invites you? Imagine getting to the entrance of a hotel and someone walks up to you to say you can’t go in, looking over the top of your head (you just threw on an old t-shirt over a pair of jeans and didn’t even comb your hair because you were in a hurry that morning) What about when you meet an old acquaintance and try to reintroduce yourself but she just sizes you up and walks away from you. I don’t even want to imagine that feeling you get when you meet a guy you really like and try to chat him up but he just walks out on you.
These and many more sum up the feeling of rejection. We see it every day in our daily interactions with people, whether as children or grown ups. That feeling is something you cannot out grow. It can leave you feeling angry, bitter and drained throughout the day. You just can’t understand why you were rejected and the first thing that comes to your mind is that you are not good enough and if it happens in quick successions then the it stops being just a feeling in your mind but becomes a fact.
Well I can’t begin to ask us one by one to regale us with experiences of rejection in our years of existence. I’m sure there will be so many to tell and the funny thing is that we can always remember every detail of the event that led to the rejection. It is an experience that remains entrenched in our memories never mind whether it happened during childhood or as adults.
And so what if you were rejected?
The question I always like to ask is ‘and so what if you were rejected? It’s their loss anyway!’ Look at it this way, what if Michelle Obama walked into a gathering dressed in ordinary clothes without her aides and nobody recognized her. Would it make her any less than she is? I know you are no Michelle but if you see yourself as someone of great value, a special person, someone to be admired and respected then you will not feel bad when someone rejects you. Just shrug your shoulders and move on. It doesn’t matter at all.
However, rejection becomes a bigger problem when it has happened so often that it has begun to affect your self esteem. This is where it will take a little more effort. Just shrugging your shoulder may not be so easy but the hard fact is that NOT every one is going to like you; just find the ones that do and stick with them. Every adult has at one time in her life been rejected but the difference is in the way we handle it. So my final word is … If someone rejects you, just reject that feeling and move on with your life.
Dare to be a difference.