How damaging are the words that are coming out of your lips? Do you ever stop to question yourself and the feelings of the person involved before saying something? It is so easy to relay something you heard without first verifying the truth about it. They say women are natural gossips as if the men don’t do it too but come to think of it – it is really true. We really love to gossip.
Where two or three women are gathered, there is often gossip in their midst. It doesn’t even take a lot for it to start. Just mention one person’s name and they’re on it, resurrecting old and buried memories and washing dirty linen in public. Just take one of them out of the picture and the rest will turn on her. How annoying it is to see civilized women engage in gossip. Despite their well crafted power suits, well manicured nails and chic appearance, nothing excites them more than gossiping. It is like they are completely at home once a gossip topic arises.
In fact social media has now completely legalized gossip! For instance I’ll feel no guilt stating categorically that I heard so so person did so so so thing with so so so ….on twitter…(who’s listening anyway?) that’s the good thing about anonymity on twitter. How often have you heard someone retweet something she had absolutely no idea about? The funny thing is that she’ll probably make it sound like she saw it happen. What about facebook and all other social networks and the numerous unverifiable stories we share just to prove to people that we are in the know?
Ladies, gossip used to be the exclusive preserve of uncultured women, fishwives and market women with plenty time on their hands but now we are all doing it with reckless abandon. Well mannered, cultured ladies have no place gossiping. Sometimes gossip is like the gasoline that escalates a small spark. Something that was told in confidence can come into the open and cause strife due to one person’s indiscretion .
It is very important to be someone that can be trusted with information. I know how tempting it is to be the one that spills the beans but just stop for a minute to think about the harm your words can cause to your friend, your co-worker, your sister in church or an acquaintance (she may not even be your friend).
Before you speak just ask yourself these questions…
- Is it absolutely important for me to tell people what I heard?
- Can that information be traced back to me?
- How will she feel if she knows I was the one that told people?
- Is there a better way to relay that information without tarnishing someone’s image?
So ladies, feel free to gist and speak your mind but make sure every word you speak is edifying. If you feel the urge to gossip why not consider calling the person aside and speaking to her instead. You will surely feel a whole lot better for getting it off your chest and helping the person instead.
Remember that you can be a difference…