Have you heard of a recently discovered planet? It is the planet that is closest to the earth. Guess what! It is for women only! Surprised? Don’t be because though this planet was just discovered by man it has been in existence for years. It is only conducive for women and no man is allowed to enter.
The laws of the planet say you are unqualified to be its inhabitant except you feel you are inadequate or you are insecure. There are several other laws that are off-shoots of this basic law in existence there. For instance, there are laws like: you must be skinny, you must not be content with what you have, you must be demanding, you must be covetous, you must always be jealous of what your friends have, you must be deceitful, manipulative, competitive, petty and envious. This planet gives no room for standing out. If you do then you will be swallowed up and have no place there. The women here are superficially beautiful and attractive . There is very little below the surface. They can do anything just to keep up with the Joneses. There is very little interest in others, their major interest is in their beauty.
There are multi-billion dollar forces that control this planet. Guess who they are making those billions of dollars from? You! Surprised? Don’t be because it is true. There is a whole market that is centred on making money from women who are insecure. First, they tell you it is sexy to be like the actress on tv who is soo skinny that she makes your 10 year old sister seem fat. So you spend your whole existence fretting about your weight and your whole income trying all kinds of new diets and exercise routines to look like your idol. Ok, as if that’s not enough, next they’re trying to convince you that wearing all the colours on the rainbow is the quickest way to make you attractive. I was nearly blinded yesterday while staring at a girl dressed in bright yellow, red and orange in the name of clour blocking… I mean, she literarily blocked out the sun with her brightness. I could just imagine birds resting on her head.
Anyway, not to dwell only on the negatives of this planet, there’s a lot to love about it. The truth is we make the world more exciting. What would the world be like without our bright red tomato lips, blowing fake kisses to fake friends? What would social gatherings look like without us in tight, skimpy clothes wining our waists like over stuffed ducks? What would the men be struggling to make money for? How interesting would going to church be without girls who come to show off their peruvian hair with witchy eyelashes and talons for nails as they dance the latest ‘yahooze, etgi and azonto’ dance? I’m sure you agree with me now that we truly are unique in our lifestyles and even from our own planet we make the world go round.
PS: there’s a better planet to be in, where there’s no need for inadequacy to qualify for citizenship. If u want to know about it just e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Loads of joy…