For singles only – #TheSingleLife

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Thursday evening and I had just come home from work. It was one of those extremely busy days at the office. As I climbed up the stairs, the only thing on my mind was how to lie on my bed and have a really long sleep. The moment I got in, I took off my shoes and lay on the floor, too tired to even shower before falling into a sound slumber. I eventually woke up just a few minutes after I slept, my phone was just blaring into my ears much to my chagrin. I had no choice but to freshen up and get comfortable. Then I picked up the phone to see who had been calling. I checked the missed call and started looking through other stuff on my phone. That was when I stumbled upon something beautiful that gave rise to this post. I mean, it practically made my evening and had me rolling on the floor, nodding to myself when I realised how true most of them were and even laughing out loud as if I was sharing a joke with someone though I was all alone. Did I mention that this post was for singles only? Hmm…I bera not catch any ‘married’ reading this or else….hmmm.

So, the stuff that had me rolling on the floor was something I saw on twitter. I recently followed Dr. Tony Rapu of ‘This Present House’ on twitter. I had listened to him speak a couple of times when I went to visit my sister who is a member of his church and I must say I had an amazing time just being there in the presence of God and hearing those drops of wisdom from him. That evening however, I was just browsing through my TL, buying time before going to make my dinner when I saw his tweet, ‘it is in times of crisis we walk on water.’ I went like, ‘wow’ in my mind and would have added a halleluiah but curiosity got me to look at all his recent tweets like a hart longing for water. That was when I came across his hashtags, #TheSingleLife.

At first, when I read through his TL, I didn’t want to put it up here cos I felt that I’m not in the right position to be doing this but on second thought I realised that I would be liable for hoarding useful information for no good reason. So, I have carefully listed his tweets here for your consumption. Some, you have heard before and some you haven’t. I hope you find them as insightful as I did. The words in italics are mine…just a couple of thoughts.

  • Enjoy the goodness of single life. Yea, I know you’re asking ‘what is good about being single?’ Good question but just wait for it. Your answer is coming right up.
  • Demote marriage in your heart, Put God first. And someone is saying, ‘What? Demote what? Marriage is my number one priority this year. All my mates are getting married. Can’t you see that my biological clock is ticking? I’m sure God understands.’ Okay naa…
  • Put marriage in proper perspective. Which other perspective naa? All I need to do is accept the ring, wear the white gown and every other thing will take care of itself.
  • Idolatry of marriage messes up your single years and eventually distorts your marriage life.
  • Singles who do not develop a healthy relationship with the heavenly bridegroom will become needy in marriage. I’m already needy in my singlehood. Is it not the same thing?
  • Even the best marriage on earth cannot fill the void left in the human soul. Only Christ can. But I already have Christ and I am still lonely. It is even worse when I see couple holding hands and looking so happy together. Just give me any marriage at all. It is better than being alone.
  • Married couples don’t do well in marriage until they see their marriage as a prototype of Christ and the Church.
  • Christians who remain single are making a statement that their future is not guaranteed by family but by God.

Have you ever seen a house with a large black gate and high fence, with a wooden notice hanging on it and the inscription, BEWARE OF DOGS on it? Can you recall how you felt when you saw it? That’s the exact way this beware part made me feel…lol

  • Beware of the needy person with emotional baggage and unhealed hurts and wounds. They make life miserable for you.
  • Beware of the immoral person.
  • Beware of the idolatry of marriage. Seeing marriage as the all in all of life.
  • Beware of the man who wants you pregnant before marriage.
  • Beware of the prisoner of their past.
  • Beware of the insecure person.
  • Beware of the time bomb who needs anger management. But he shouts at other people not me. He never shouts at me directly. Hmmm…really…beware!!!
  • Beware of the control freak. I need say no more…freaky-scary.
  • Beware of the cyber-love and courtship. I met him on facebook and we’ve been chatting for over a month. I think I’ve fallen in love with him already. Really? Are you in love with him or with the image in the computer? Come to think of it, have you ever put up anything bad about yourself on facebook? Would you expect him to? Umm….I thought so too.
  • Beware of the unbeliever.
  • Never ignore warning signals in a relationship
  • Avoid sex toys. God calls you to wholesomeness.
  • God never really chooses a spouse for you. He only guides you in making the right choice in life
  • Falling in love with a married man or woman is a useless venture like a journey on a road that is taking you nowhere.
  • Marriage does not cure loneliness.
  • Ladies beware of the bodyguard man. He’s like a gateman, stays around you, scares away potential suitors but still makes no commitment
  • Ladies, a weekend in your lover’s house cheapens you and reduces your value. Well, these days, Nollywood is teaching us different. May God help us!
  • Premarital sex is wrong, foolish and dangerous. It is a sin against God and your own body. Everybody else says it’s ok but what do you say?
  • Don’t do what married people do until you get married
  • Don’t put your whole life on hold waiting for a supposed fiancé who lives abroad.
  • Don’t marry someone simply because you pity them
  • Don’t marry just to escape from your parents home
  • Don’t marry just because you got pregnant. It is repentance and counselling you need.
  • Don’t marry just to escape loneliness. You will still be lonely in marriage.
  • Don’t marry because of peer pressure.
  • Don’t allow parental pressure push you into marriage. Your parents won’t live with you in the marriage.
  • I will marry him and convert him afterwards. The power to convert anyone does not lie with you but with God.
  • I have to date many people to pick the best…no you don’t.
  • I must marry a virgin cos I’m a virgin…who said?
  • Never allow people’s opinion to shape your perception of your true self
  • Many singles want to get married and many married want to be single again.
  • Marriage is good but enjoy life on your way to getting married.
  • Stop mourning your singleness. Get a life!
  • Singleness is not a limitation
  • Singleness is not a sin, a sickness nor is it a problem
  • Being married is not a condition for fulfilling your destiny
  • Being married is not a condition for making it to heaven
  • You were not created for marriage. Marriage was created for you. You were created for dominion.
  • The founder of Christianity, Jesus Christ was single all his life.

There is so much more but I’m sure it cannot all be condensed into this page. I was tempted to publish it in two volumes at the risk of becoming like my wonderful Nollywoodians but I decided to put it all up here. These are really useful titbits of information that every single person must hear. I hope you picked some precious pearls here. Do have a wonderful weekend and remember to keep being the femmetotale… while you wait.

Femmetotale

NB: This Present House is at Freedom Way/End of Admiralty Way, Lekki Phase 1

www.thispresenthouse.org or follow on twitter @drtonyrapu

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