I’m big and fabulous!

Studio portrait of young African American woman smiling on white background

Here’s to all the big girls who have had the tag, ‘big‘ stuck to them for so long it’s become part of their names. So you’re that girl that every time you want to enter a bus or a taxi everybody cringes in their seats and some even go as far as saying, ‘driver how many people are sitting here?’ Or are you that girl that is always the first to say, ‘you know I’m fat so don’t let me sit on you,’? Somehow you’ve adopted the best defense strategy to make snide comments about yourself first before anybody else does so that it doesn’t hurt that much and somehow it still hurts when they tell you to take it easy on the food.

There’s no limit to how insensitive people can be some times. I once heard someone say in front of a lady, ‘I just can’t stand fat chicks,’ and he laughed as though a canon had been let loose inside his tummy. I mean, how insensitive can people be? The lady in question just walked away but  I could see the hurt in her face and I almost pitied the person that would offer her food that day.

There’s something I discovered one day that really got me wondering why we bother so much about our appearances. We live in a grossly imperfect world. Today, they say it is fashionable to be thin and the next day it is something else. People are really fickle minded. Who are you striving to please? One minute they act like they’re please and the next they are looking for something else to pick at. I met one big and beautiful lady recently and I was really amazed at the way she picked on herself all through our conversation. She made it difficult for me to see beyond her size. It was either she was commenting on her fat tummy or her eating habit. It was almost as if she wanted me to validate her comments by agreeing with her but even I knew she’d be unhappy about herself the more. I just shook my head and said, ‘The world is a funny place. The slim people want to become fat and the fat are obsessing about becoming slim.’

imagesMost times it is what you point out to people that they see. They’re often too busy with their lives to see past their noses (never mind the tatafos that try to harp on your misery to try and make themselves happy). The reason you are unhappy about your weight is not because of what people say but what you say to yourself.

The thing is that all that matters is your confidence in yourself. It is true that it is important to eat healthy and exercise regularly but why do you think your weight is your biggest problem? Honey, the fact is that if you’re not happy with the way you are now, there is no guarantee you’ll love yourself any better even if a miracle takes place and you suddenly become thin. You’re still going to either obsess about the shape of your legs or the size of your foot. Personally, I love seeing ladies that are big and bold. There is just something alluring about a lady who’s confident in herself. A lady, whose confidence is born not out of how wonderful she perceives herself to be but a humility about God’s grace to her. You have to accept yourself and make the most out of who you are. So you’re big…be big and fabulous. Be the femmetotale…

Femmetotale

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