You are not ready for marriage

Multi-ethnic newlyweds hugging at beach

A lady who was down and out on her luck went to a fortune teller, hoping to find a reason to continue living. The fortune teller found something positive  in her future and told the lady, ‘You will be proposed to 3 times in the next 6 months.’ She said, ‘No, it will only happen once.’ When asked why, she said ‘Cos I’ll accept the very first proposal and there’d be no need for the other two!’

I found this an interesting story because many people have gotten to a point when they have had to say this especially due to pressures from family and society.

I attended a couple of weddings lately. Ladies, we really know how to have fun with ourselves. Underneath the facade of just looking good in their bridesmaid dresses and asoebis was the age-long scheme of all womankind. I noticed the coy looks under the smoky eyelashes. Was it the flirtatious giggles or the fake British accents in singsong voices? Everybody had something planned to catch new suitors. Yes, it was all about the new catches. It was all about being the next in line.

One of the new acquaintances I made asked me a question. He may have been at loss on how to make meaningful conversation but I found his question quite interesting. He asked me what age I feel a lady should be ready to get married. My first response was a long grin which I’m sure made him feel embarrassed. Then I laughed out loud and asked him, ‘ready or ripe?’ He was just as perplexed as you are now. I went ahead to remind him that his question applied to both sexes. That inspired this post. The question is, are you ripe or ready for marriage?

Think about it this way…

Do you have a life-sized chip on your shoulders, always thinking that your opinion is the best and your decision ought to be final. Are u more likely to throw a tantrum once someone disagrees with you? Then you are ripe, not ready for marriage.

Do you always need someone to make decisions for you and somehow you have come to believe that your future depends on someone else? Then you are ripe, not ready for marriage.

Do you need someone who will meet all your financial needs? Then you are ripe not ready for marriage

Are you more excited about the wedding than the marriage? Sure the beautiful ring, white gown and cake are alluring but when the dress comes off and all the well wishers are gone then starts the real thing. If you’ve not spent time thinking about that part then you’re ripe, not ready for marriage.

If you’re doing it just because all your friends are getting married too then I guess I don’t need to tell you that you’re ripe, not ready for marriage.

If you’re not ready to put someone’s needs first before yours then you’re definitely ripe, not ready for marriage.

Suddenly it doesn’t matter anymore what he does for a living, whether you love him or whether he really loves you…lady, you’re ripe, not ready for marriage.

Are you thinking about your family and what they are likely to benefit from your marriage? Then you’re ripe, not ready for marriage.

Are you more concerned about appending the ‘Mrs’ to your name than the character of the ‘Mr’? Then you are ripe, not ready for marriage.

Have you started overlooking that character flaw that causes you to have a nagging feeling in your mind? You may just be ripe, not ready for marriage.

Marriage requires mental maturity and not just physical maturity (I’m not encouraging #child marriage by the way). Mental maturity requires the ability to make decisions after considering important factors and to stand by your decisions. Think about it!

Femmetotale

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17 thoughts on “You are not ready for marriage

    • lizzieebunoluwa says:

      Yaaaaaaaay@1+the One…i’m currently on a journey through your blog from the beginning year…just got to year 2012 …suffice it to say its been a rich experience…your characteristic “lol” kinda jolted me like you caught me…

      @Femme- lol..the fake they say,is proof that the original exists…ever seen a counterfeit N3000 note?….goes without saying th/4 that there are individuals l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶m̶y̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ ̶ who would definitely be ready and fully grounded beyond your inexhaustible scope of questions measuring readiness or ripeness
      Besides,I couldn’t agree more with 1+the One…said it all…you gotta be prepared by Grace,Wisdom and Love or you better stay out…its no use risking hearts,lives and resources….Do right by yourself…at least this once…
      Its a lifelong covenant with the proprietor of the institution…you are certified,never to graduate…hehehehe….you gats be ready mehn…to keep studying years on end …lessons on love,true definition of commitment,patience,responsibility..etc…Drop outs not allowed…
      B.t.w,I love your use of ripe and ready as categories… and the story@the beginning…. You may be ripe for sexual activity biologically by reason of fully developed organs but not spiritually…

      Before they pursue me from this blog,lemme come and be going with my plenty gist..lol

      Blessings dear!

      • Femmetotale says:

        Lizzie you have just done a complete blog post on this and I agree with you totally! Lol @ ‘Its a lifelong covenant with the proprietor of the institution…you are certified,never to graduate’. Seeing it this way can save us a whole lot of heart aches. I hope we’ll all do right by ourselves.

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