Something to love

Couple hugging in urban park

They say men love toys and they never get over their love for toys no matter what age they are. I mean, girls love to play with dolls but that’s just cos of their natural instinct to care for something other than themselves and they do get over it. When they get older, they become more concerned about things like fashion, make-up, looking good, gisting, etc…lol. Guys on the other hand, hmm…they never get over their toys rather the toys just get more expensive (talk about PS4, expensive cars and the rest)…lol. A guy makes some huge amount of money and the next thing he’s thinking about is that toy he had always dreamed of having, like the guitar used by Elvis Presley himself (or something that looks like that) never mind that he doesn’t know how to play a guitar. Okay, someone is thinking I’m just being gender biased. Am I? We’ll see.

You know what’s best about having toys? They’re easy to relate with. They don’t talk back at you, argue with you or walk away from you. It is your property and you can use it anyway you like, who’s going to object as long as it doesn’t affect anybody else’s peace. What’s more, you can change your toy into anything you want. For instance, you can pimp up your car like a gangstaz ride. Just send it to pimp-my-ride and they will have it back for you looking like you just stepped out of Men in Black with it. Your car is never going to complain about the changes you made to it. All other toys can be changed at anytime at the snap of your finger. After all, it’s your property.

So now you’re in a relationship and you say you’re in love but you’ve never quite gotten over the habit of changing things into what you want. If only I can change this part of her just a little bit or if I could mold her into my idea of the perfect woman then maybe I’ll really fall in love with her. Did I only say, ‘her’? We ladies are sometimes just as caught up in that bad attitude of wanting to change someone into someone we can love too. Once anybody wants to change you into someone he can love then that’s a clear indication that he doesn’t love you. Love starts from acceptance.

So he’s been telling you that he loves fair girls and would have preferred if you were fair. Now you’re asking around for the safest type of bleaching cream to start using. Or maybe he told you that your chest is too flat and you’re spending hours on the internet reading about the best way to get bigger boobs. Or has he told you that he doesn’t like the sound of your voice and you keep mute whenever you’re together so that he won’t have cause to complain? So how long do you think you’re going to last in that?

If you love someone then you must accept that person the way she is. Love in itself is acceptance. Love does not force change. God loves us despite our many flaws. It is the knowledge of His love that causes us to see our inadequacies and desire to change. This doesn’t mean that we should continue in wrong conduct and resist change. This is just a reminder that if God does not force change in us then we have no place forcing change in anybody else.

So if you really desire change in your partner, instead of coercing or nagging daily, try love. Try the God-kind of love and you’ll get the change you desire.


NB: If you were inspired by this post, don’t just read and smile :D. Get involved! Share on your social networks, facebook and twitter. You never know whose life you’re going to help change. Have a great weekend!

20 thoughts on “Something to love

  1. Pazzy says:

    Sounds like u wia talkn to me. Since my last relationship, It seems I can’t find a friend for me again. I wanna change everytin….God!

  2. Tosin says:

    Hmmm,( taking a deep breath here) this actually contains a lot more truth than one can imagine.Genuine love can melt the hardest heart. Keep sharing dear. much blessings

  3. drnsmusings says:

    @drjay why is your partner smoking? If u didn’t like smokers, why is she your partner? Emphasis on d word partner. Winks!
    Fyfy, I will reblog this post. My comments are too many. To sum it all, only the holy spirit produces lasting change and look how difficult we make it for him. How will u change anybody? Better choose the person whose flaws u can n are prepared to live with. Just in case he or she doesn’t change.
    You can improve yourself, but if u find he keeps raising the bar, rethink o!

    • Femmetotale says:

      Thanks for dropping a comment Dr. Jay. I understand your desire for your partner to stop smoking. Like drnsmusings said, ‘why is your partner smoking and if you don’t like smokers then why is he/she your partner?’ The point is to look out for the things that you can bear and accept him. However, if you have found things you can’t bear in ur partner, all hope is not lost. Here’s what you can do, you can ask the Holy Spirit to influence change in that person. It is not impossible for the person to change. You just can’t force that change but the Holy Spirit knows the best way to do that.

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