Last first date – Blind Date Gone Bad

Young couple in cafe

It’s happened to the best of us. It’s happened to me too. Any girl in the dating zone will tell you she’s been on one or two blind dates in her life. Wondering what I mean by blind date? Don’t worry I’ve been there before too. I remember hearing about a blind date and wondering if she went on a date with a blind guy. Awwww… touching! I also remember thinking, so we still have girls with hearts of gold like that… Well, I soon found out that a blind date is not about going on a date with someone that can’t see but simply going a date with someone you’ve never met in person.

We’ve heard fairytales about two strangers that went on a ‘blind date’, fell in love and lived happily ever after. Some say it was love at first sight, some say they hit it right off when they met and some say they knew they’d be perfect together the moment they met. With facebook and other social media, blind dates have practically become a normal thing cos who’s to tell if the guy you’ve been chatting with on facebook is really the one in his profile picture? So many classic romantic tales have been spurn around ‘blind dates’ and everybody loves a little bit of romance, right? Okay, so imagine my delight when my dear friend, Victoria told me about her blind date who just came into the country and couldn’t wait to meet her. What could be more romantic than that? Well, let’s find out how the date went right from her. I’m trying not to spill the gist myself 😀 My own words are in brackets. Enjoy!

He just got back into Nigeria and had climbed seven mountains to get my number from my friend. So I felt what’s the worst thing that could happen, abi? I had heard tales of how handsome and  funny he was (two points for him already) so I was kind of looking forward to our meeting.

I met him at the hotel he was staying and we proceeded to an eatery not far from there. We chatted for a little while and then ordered. He ordered for oha soup and eba, I think I ordered for rice I’m not so sure now. He didn’t do anything yucky like talk with his mouth full or anything. (Okay, this is the part I really dread! What’s with guys and talking with their mouths full? One point for him, sweetz…he’s passed this part!)

What made me write this piece was what he did after. He washed his hands in the bowl, then put some water in his mouth and rinsed it. I mean gurgled the water like you would when brushing your teeth, with his face up and everything. (What!!! :O Did you say gurgled? I withdraw my one point!) Hmmm… wait, there’s more. He used the water to wipe his lips then shook his hands to dry the water off. Finally he took the serviette to complete what he had started. I just sat there, looking at him. (Sorry, sweetz, where did you say that guy came back from, the desert?) 

I didn’t know what to do really, thinking back now I hope I wasn’t staring. I was too embarrassed to check if other people had witnessed what I just saw. Of course, I had to suffer through it all till he got the bill. The amazing thing is, he didn’t even know what he did was a big ‘no no’. I thought it was over until the bill came. Ladies, he asked the waiter to wait while he crosschecked the bill with her, making sure no naira was lost. At the end of it there was an overshoot of about N40 or so, which he demanded for of course. And no, he did not tip the waiter. (hahahahaha…he had to make sure the waiter wasn’t stealing him blind. You’ve got to hand it to the guy naaa….he was being financially prudent.)


Blind date….hmmmm…I guess sometimes you’ve got to just have faith and take a blind leap. Thanks for sharing with us, Victoria. You sure made me have a good laugh this morning. 



PS: Last First Date is still up! Remember you can share your own bizarre dating experience with us. Just send a mail to

16 thoughts on “Last first date – Blind Date Gone Bad

  1. drnsmusings says:

    Yuck! Na! Not in public, not in private, nowhere is this acceptable. Overseas? Odi egwu! I would have melted into the floor. Rejecting this type, does it also qualify as being too “choosy”. For some reason such men see themselves as God’s gift to women. What will he do when introduced to her parents, I wonder? Use her mom’s table cloth as a napkin to wipe his mouth? Or fart at the dinner table. Hehehe.

    • Femmetotale says:

      I wonder oh! That one certainly doesn’t qualify with all his gurgling and all that. I’m sure he’s the type that will cross-check his wife’s list after she goes to the market to make sure that she didn’t spend more than allowed. As for getting introduced to the parents, I’m pretty sure he’ll do more than that. Lol…

  2. tenderonii says:

    Immediately I read,”he rinsed his mouth and gurlgled”…..tongues just ran off my mouth……OMG….blind date gone BAAADDDD. And He actually was being “Financially Prudent” (in femmetotale’s words)…hmmm lips sealed.
    I can only say, Sorry Victoria…I hope the waitress didn’t insult and gossip about you both after you were gone, with her other colleagues ooh, If I was the waitress I might have done that. lol..this is really an embarrassing one. Sorry dear, but some MEN sha,…nd just like Femme said, his meaning of ABROAD was probably the desert. lmao

  3. Zi says:

    Now i burst into laughter in d KEKE i was in, they must hv thot i was nuts… Anyways, i wasnt as disgusted. if it had happened to me, i wld v simply told him after his eating dat the whole gurgling thing in public was a big NO-NO….. maybe he ddnt know… pple learn everyday. The overchecking d bill, perhaps he’s too meticulous wit his money. M so guessing d guy is Igbo….lol. If he’s attitude is okay n he’s ready to change, then its nt a big deal to me

    • Femmetotale says:

      Okay, Zi, I can imagine you bursting into laughter in the keke. Does anybody have to be told that you can’t rinse your mouth with the same water you washed your hands with? Kai! I can even imagine the guy flaring up if she had told him that what he did was wrong. Lol @ ‘M so guessing d guy is Igbo’
      “Dat igbo boy”!!!

      • Zi says:

        Ehn… wait first o… d same water he used to wash hand???? chineke! ha! d babe sef no try, me i for hala dere o… lol. I wld v talked immediately, nt shouting bt he’ll surely see d level of shock on my face to knw not to continue sef.

  4. fairygodsister says:

    Yuck!! In public? It’s not even acceptable in private!!

    Where did he come from o!! And ladies, not all ‘overseas’ is ‘over the sea o’. If the young man jumped over the puddle in front of his father’s compound and you’re unaware that’s still over the sea o!

    Gave me a good laugh though so thank you!

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