Last first date – An Exciting Meet

Young Couple Drinking Wine

You all probably know by now how much I love hearing love stories, about how meeting a stranger blossoms into something beautiful and lasting. After all, every friend you have today was once a stranger but by sharing certain interests and getting involved in each other’s lives, that one-time stranger quickly becomes a part of your life.

I’m always interested in the ‘first meet’ part of every love story. It’s amazing to hear about how a man bumped into a lady and helped her pick up her books that fell and got scattered on the floor. One thing led to another and they fell in love and lived happily ever and after. I know I’ve seen that a lot in movies but does it happen in real life? I mean, out here in the real world we seem to meet that ‘special someone’ in least expected places like; on the road (under the scorching sun), or at the ATM point (where you were waiting impatiently for your turn) or….. the market. Okay, before I go spilling the beans again, my girl, Tosin met that ‘special someone’ at a least expected place and she dished it all right out to me. When I read her mail, I was just about to eat my fried yam and stew which I had been longing for all day. Here’s how it went. Hear it right from her. My own words are in brackets and italics.

Hi Femmetotale,

I commented on your post about the “last first date” and you asked me to share my experience and here it is.

This happened around 4yrs back when I was still in the University. I came around from school to visit my cousin in Ibadan. I cannot remember the incident word for word but I remember the encounter vividly. Biko! don’t laugh too much. (Ok, girl you know when you tell someone not to laugh too much it automatically gets them laughing. 🙂 )

My cousin had gone to work and I was left alone at home. I was so bored that I decided to spice up my day. I went to Sango market to buy some foodstuffs. I also decided to buy some CD’s at a stand and that was how I met this guy. (Oooooohhhh….this is the part I so love to hear about… how they met… I’m all ears!)

We got talking about movies. I realised he was an avid movie watcher just like me. He sounded so nice and we exchanged numbers. He called me the next day and this was when the drama started. While we were talking, something led to another and I told him I had not yet taken my bath. He scolded me and told me to go and bath joor.

Then the shocker came. He said, “I don’t want to go out with a smelling girl”. * Jaw drops* Did I hear this guy correctly? He just said I was smelling! (HUH? WHAT!!!!! Babes, I don’t think your jaw dropped as low as mine. Even my mum would scold my brothers for telling their sister that she’s smelling. It’s a big cultural ‘no no’)

Foolish me, I overlooked that language. I didn’t know it was a sign of more to come. We continued talking and we agreed to meet in an eatery. I cleaned up and got dressed, hoping to have fun with my new date. *rolling my eyes*. On getting to the eatery, I called him to come out to meet me but he asked me to come inside. I hate looking all around for my first dates in an unfamiliar place. (A guy I was talking to recently actually said that only a girl that doesn’t know her worth goes to search for the guy on a first date. He should be the one to come out and search. I didn’t particularly agree with him then but Tosin’s story is making me wish I had.) I insisted so he agreed to come out. He called me that he was outside but I couldn’t still see him. We kept talking on phone till I located him. Just before he dropped the call, I heard something like Olodo! Gbam! The second shocker! Olodo ke, I don enter am today! (Okay, at this point my jaw dropped so low that the yam I was about to eat fell out of my mouth. WHAT???)

We went inside, made our orders and settled down. Then another drama started.

# Part 1) He asked to see the contents of my purse and I refused. Then we started dragging my purse together and when I would not release it he became pissed. (No comments on this one. What was he hoping to see in the bag, biko?)

# Part 2) We continued eating and chatting. All of a sudden, he asked to see my stomach!  “Stomach ke! Inside eatery, see my life o!” I blatantly refused and he was even more pissed.

# Part 3) I still stayed and we kept talking. Then he asked, “Who even told you that you are beautiful?” Ehn see question…. I didn’t still take offense. I smiled and told him that I have friends and families who compliment me. He gave me a mocking expression and said, “You are not fine. You are just OK.”

*Alarm bells sounding in my head* That was the last straw. I said to myself, “This is the last day you will ever see me!!!!”

I kept my cool and decided to leave few minutes later. You know another shocking thing? He wanted me to go home with him! Insult upon injury! Of course, I bluntly refused. (Okay, this is the one that just makes me mad. Why would you meet someone and ask her to go home with you on the same day? Even oyibos keep it simple till the third date except she’s the one that invited you to her place. Ladies, please help me out here!)
Some days later, he sent me a text that I didn’t even call or text him. He said “It’s so sad because it shows he didn’t mean anything to me.”

“Argggh! Call fire! He even had the nerve to get in touch after all that.”

Every girl I told the story to was angry with me for putting up with such nonsense.

Femmetotale, I am sure if you were my mother or elder sister, you would have beaten me for even taking such. (hahahahahaha… nope, I wouldn’t have beaten you. I’d have asked you why you didn’t call me immediately to come and take you away from there. Lolz…) Anyways, I am wiser now o! 

Tosin Florence Eyebiokin


We’ve all had to sit through bad dates before but this guy takes the cake. When I read about Tosin’s experience, at first, my jaw dropped and then dropped lower and then got shut cos I was mighty pissed. I sense that the guy is uncultured and just plain abusive and I pity the girl who will have to live through that for the rest of her life. The first ‘no no’ was telling the girl that she was smelling. Ok, I know guys you’re very close to can get away with that but not someone you’ve just met. The last straw that broke the camel’s back for me was when he told her that she wasn’t beautiful. I mean, who does that? Some people deserve to be put in that place that starts with the letter Z, kai! Anyways, thank God you were able to escape on time before he did more damage on you.

Ladies, I hope you could relate with Tosin’s experience. I sure did. Tosin is an amazing blogger and she blogs at www.chavivas.blogspot.com. You know that feeling you get when you’re walking by the brooks at dawn? That’s how her writing makes me feel… peaceful. You should go check out her blog.

Do have a splendid week and don’t forget to keep being complete.

Femmetotale.

PS: Last First Date is still up! Remember you can share your own bizarre dating experience with us. Just send a mail to alicia_davids@yahoo.com

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23 thoughts on “Last first date – An Exciting Meet

  1. Damilola says:

    Na wa o…this takes the cake for the worst date EVER!!!. I was so pissed i didn’t know when i reacted, even my boss was wondering why. You should have politely given him a little lecture on how to treat ladies then picked your bag and left.

  2. imperfectlyperfect92 says:

    AH! so this happened to my Tosin? tis funny but serious at the same time. aside from the guy being totally crude, rude and mannerless, I think he is the type that feeds on ladies with low self esteem, you know the lord it over them and try to make the ladies seem lesser than they are…ohh,nawa o, God help us. and like Praise George said, we should learn how to read a guy within the first 5minutes he opens his mouth to speak, gotta start putting aside niceties and walking away immediately if need be,aint nobody gat time for rubbish_i so agree with the guy should come out to search for and take the girl in if they have a date and she is not familiar with the surroundings..guys need some grooming oo,i cant count the number of those thst hsve done that ‘I am inside come in’ for me in time past,we should have more better behaved guys abeg..

    • Femmetotale says:

      You just described the guy accurately. He is probably the type that feeds on girls with low self esteem. Maybe it’s time we took Tosin’s advice and started a dating police 🙂

  3. E' says:

    Tell me you and Tosin made this up to annoyme. ..
    Jeez
    My jaws dropped too
    Where did they get this one from biko nu
    Razz ibadan boy… Focus on BOY
    Alika…
    Hissss
    Btw very true on the man coming out to get the woman so she doesn’t keep staring like a fish loool

    E’

  4. Tosin says:

    Well I didn’t call him after that incident,I think he called but I didn’t pick . Like I narrated to Alicia ,he sent a text few days later but I didn’t reply. I have not seen him since and this happened like 4yrs ago. I do understand your concern and I deeply appreciate you looking out for us (women).

    God bless you plenty.

  5. Tosin says:

    I am not surprised you are pissed at the story, sincerely who wouldn’t be? In fact I was mad at myself after the incident even as I recalled all that happened. When this kind of incident happens,you are initially too shocked to believe its really happening and when it finally registers that you are dealing with a nut case ,then you let off..I think that’s what happened to me. Thankfully, it happened just once and I now laugh at it.

    So on point….. “The moment you realise you are dealing with an insane person, you should disconnect!”

    • praisegeorge says:

      Tosin, I think you didn’t leave immediately because you were being nice. People take advantage of you if they think you are nice and won’t do or say anything to disrupt their scheme. Again, I think you wanted to SEE where the guy was headed with his antics, that is why you stayed that long.
      Would I be right to say that this guy HAS called you back and is asking for another date? He would have probably apologised and begged for forgiveness. DO NOT, I repeat, do not give in to him. He is set in his ways and will only cause you pain.

      I visited your blog but couldn’t post a comment. I will try again.
      Blessings.

  6. drnsmusings says:

    I don’t think ppl get the point. The guy is a serial abuser. He was testing her to know how far she would go. Next thing is stalking, verbal abuse, control, or even rape. I laughed at first but reading again, some “olodo” is there waiting for him to propose, cookoing n cleaning for him. Mtcheeew!

    • praisegeorge says:

      There is an ‘olodo’ who will ‘worship the ground’ on which that guy walks because she cannot see beyond that level of life. It hurts me to even think about that possibility, but that is the truth. That is the reason why I have written so many books and articles for singles, especially single ladies.

      • Femmetotale says:

        I can only imagine a girl with lesser self esteem falling for that guy. She’ll probably treat him like he is God’s gift to women. I pray he changes. Thank u for your passion for helping women in relationships.

    • Femmetotale says:

      @drnsmusings I agree with u. The guy is definitely a serial abuser and I’m pretty sure a control freak. I don’t believe that was his first attempt or the last. Ladies run from this type.

  7. praisegeorge says:

    I enjoyed reading the whole craziness of the story.
    Tosin should have ‘detected’ what kind of guy she was talking to AT THE CD STAND! If she couldn’t ‘read’ him then, she should have read him when he called the next day, but she didn’t.
    Okay, from the story we all can tell that this guy is a moron. Who calls a girl he is interested in ‘smelly’ and an ‘Olodo’, which means stupid person, retard, failure. Tosin should have LEFT, but she didn’t.
    Struggling with a woman’s purse is insane!!! Tosin should have LEFT then, but she didn’t.
    ‘Show me your stomach’? Why? Is he a doctor? She should have left, but she didn’t.
    I have an article at PraiseGeorge.org for ladies titled, you are not a victim. Tosin should read it.
    The moment you realise you are dealing with an insane person, you should disconnect!

    • Femmetotale says:

      I don’t blame Tosin for not leaving immediately. We think we can easily read and avoid this type but it isn’t that easy. You’d think that i’d be smart enuf to avoid the kind of guy that took me out to a buka on first date but I think that sometimes in our bid to rationalize and make excuses for this kind of guy we fall prey to this kind of experience esp while playing the good Christian girl we hesitate to walk out on the date. The important thing is to detect it on time and avoid that type . I can only i

  8. Tosin says:

    Ha,femmetotale this is even more hilarious o! Like you said we all have a lot to learn from it when the shock wears off..very true.
    Thanks for the link up, I hinted on this in my latest post with a link up back to your blog.
    @ hannah,yes o,it happened to me na wetin my eye see be dat o!
    @ stupendousgrace,thank God I escaped o! If i had my way,i would run with my shoes in my hand.lol

  9. StupendousGrace says:

    Wow! Wow!! Wow!!!
    I think I would have taken a bathroom break and just walked away.

    I can’t believe that there is such uncultured tactlessness and self conceit wrapped up in his annoying male ego. Whoever he marries will clearly suffer emotional abuse. Mba o! Jesus did not die for that.
    Chei! Thank God you ran away Tosin.
    Thanks for sharing…:-)

    • Femmetotale says:

      A bathroom break would have been a very good exit plan! It is alarming to meet guys that are this uncultured in this civilized world. Thanks for dropping by and have a beautiful day!

      • praisegeorge says:

        It has nothing to do with his ‘male ego’. That guy is uncultured, crude, rude and crass. A lady should be able to read a guy in 5 minutes or less. The moment he opens his mouth, she should know what kind of guy he is.
        Alicia, bathroom break? She should have just got up and left. He would have figured it out.

  10. tenderonii says:

    ooh wow, this happened to Tosin,…lol OMG, can you Imagine, wow,..the part where he said “Olodo” got me shouting “WHAT!!!”. Hmmm,…who ever taught him that was a way to get a girl to see you again. Tosin, I’m sorry about the date dear,..dragging purse with you, hmmm who even does that. Na so so Orishirishi I go hear for this Last First Date matter ooh,..hmmm wow. Fortunately, I haven’t had any. Wow,..thanks femme for putting this all together for us.

    • Femmetotale says:

      Thanks Tenderonii! Some dates are just bizare. Actually, it is when the initial shock wears off that you realise that you have a lot to learn from that experience. Even I am not Yoruba but I know ‘olodo’ is not a nice word to use on your first date.

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