How to get the girl of your dreams II

I started a post yesterday on how to get the girl of your dreams. If you missed it then here’s your chance to get the background to this continuation. You can click here to read it. I’ve got my go-ahead so now I can start *rubbin my hands in glee*. Remember that this post is not about giving you secret tips on how to get any girl you desire. It’s about getting the girl you deserve so before you take the first step, carefully analyze yourself to see if she is someone you deserve and save yourself the stress. I’m not going to tell you who you deserve. It is entirely your place to decide. So if you decide that she’s a girl you deserve then these few tips should enable you to make the right move. Enjoy!

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So, you’ve seen that girl of your dreams and you don’t want to miss the chance to get her to say yes to you. Here are a few simple tips on how to get the girl you want. Ladies, do I have your permission to reveal some of our secrets? Okay, so I’ll just dish out a few of them and if my girls let me then I’ll dish out more.

Getting a girl is very much like going for a job interview. You know when you are called for an interview in a company where you know that once you get that job you are made for life, you try to put in your best to get it. If that girl you want is really important to you then you have to make the best effort

#1. Prepare yourself well: Nobody goes for an interview unprepared, looking like something a cat dragged out of a bottle (not unless your father is the owner of the company and the interview is just a formality or you’re Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happiness and you’re so intelligent that they won’t mind how you look). You must remember that women respond not only to how you look but also to how they perceive you (I’m not really referring to smell). There has to be an aura around you that can tell them who you are before you say a word. A girl always knows which man to give two seconds of her time, I mean enough time to say “please I’m in a hurry” and who to pay attention to. You mustn’t drive a hot car before you can get a girl you like. You just have to be able to package yourself very well. So how do you prepare yourself? That means that you should always dress well and smell nice. Develop yourself as much as you can by reading books and following world events. Many girls these days are not just educated but intelligent. Remember that to get a girl interested in you, you must show her that there is something in you that she needs.

#2. First impressions matter: They say that first impressions matter and you may never get a second chance to make a good first impression. This means that you have to utilize the best chance you have. You may meet the girl of your dreams walking along the road and choose to take your chance. You may, on the other hand, observe her for a while and take your time. Whichever option you have, you must remember that you have to put your best foot forward at the right time. The best way to make a good first impression is to use a great punch line! If you have been on an interview panel before then you’ll know that the candidate you never forget is the one that started his answer with a good punch line.  For instance, you could walk up to her, smile and say, “Here you are. We’ve been searching for you!” She’s bound to say, “Excuse me?” or “Sorry?” At which time you now say, “I heard there’s an Angel missing in heaven and we’ve been searching for you everywhere.” Okay, that was just for fun 😀 but that has definitely got to make her smile except if she’s just a difficult person or she’s in a sour mood. Even if her response is not what you expected, don’t worry, that’s your chance to tell her your name. Find something to compliment about her. It may be her hair, her smile or her dressing. Girls go to a great length to dress up and would really like to know that someone appreciates their effort. You can find out her name and if she’s a student or she’s working. Say something witty that will make her remember your name. Remember that you should be smiling. Girls, like babies respond to sincere smiles and it will keep her at ease. Don’t linger, ask her for her number and tell her you will call her later because there’s somewhere you really need to be. That will get her curious about you.

Also, don’t forget that getting a girl you like is pretty much the same as making friends. You have to master the art of making friends by learning to make good conversations. You need to be able to strike up conversations confidently and make sure you say something positive. People tend to remember the negative things faster.

Bear in mind that most girls play hard to get so don’t always expect to get a very positive response. However, if you’re really interested in getting it right then you should make a good effort.

Look out for this column on Femmetotale for more tips on how to get the girl of your dreams.

Stay blessed.

Femmetotale.

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How to get the girl of your dreams

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I guess over a million articles have been written on how to get the man of your dreams, how to get him to propose to you, how to make him fall in love with you and etcetera. Right there, while writing all those stuff women want to hear, nobody remembers that the man is not a superhuman. Getting a girl he likes is not a skill that comes naturally to him. As a matter of fact, women are probably better prepared for relationships in life because right from childhood, her mom, some aunty or cousin starts drumming it into her ears that she has to play hard-to-get for a man #MakeHimSweatFirst 😀 so that he will value you more. She is taught how to keep a man fascinated and with the myriads of articles on it, she is more than prepared for relationships.

For the man, it is so not the same. Very few fathers have time to teach their sons how to get a girl and so most of the time he depends on stuff he hears from his friends (who don’t really know better, anyway), stuff he watches on TV or he simply does it the way he feels. The few lucky ones get it right through their natural talents or pick up some good skills after getting it wrong a few times. Some others are so cute that the girls naturally do all the chasing and they only make their choices. Still some others try and fail so much and they keep wondering why they can’t seem to get the girl they really want. Is there something wrong or something they aren’t doing right? There are two things you must know; first, not every girl will like you the way you like her because she may well be the girl of your dream but you may not be the man of her dream and secondly you cannot always make someone like you. Try your best with a few good steps but if the response is not positive then know when to bow out.  

Some people say that husbands are scarce and there are so many girls available every where. Recently, I’ve heard guys say that girls are everywhere but wives are scarce. Surprising right? They say that the available girls are everywhere but they find it difficult to get the ones they really want. Just because you want a car doesn’t mean that you’d be happy to drive pure water (with due respect to pure water owners). A man also wants to get the girl of his dream.

You’ve also heard it said that good girls always go for the bad boys. Why is that? It’s very sigood girlsmple. The bad boys are the ones that know how to get the girls. Good guys often carry last (#thesadtruth). Have you also noticed that the bad guys aren’t always the most handsome or the richest ones? They just know the right things to say and they have the best techniques. As the very nice girl that I am, I decided to do a little fact finding for you guys so I asked the few bad guys I know what their secrets are and what charm they use in getting all the girls. You want to know what I discovered? Well, in order not to make this a very long post, I’ve decided to end it here and wait for your go-ahead to conclude it. Ladies, if you feel the guys really need to hear this then I need your consent and gents if you want to hear this then also feel free to say so.

Till I get your go-ahead…keep being blessed and have a fruitful week.

Femmetotale

 

NB: Hey Femmes, I’m starting a new sub-category under my Memoirs of a Single Christian Chic called Last First dates. There some first dates that end with goodbye forever simply because someone did something stupid or did not do something right. If you have any hilarious experience that is worth sharing then please send me a brief summary of your story to my e-mail, alicia_davids@yahoo.com. Don’t worry your identity will be kept private if you so wish. Meanwhile, I’m sharing mine first 😉 .

To Fan an Old Flame IV

Sorry femmes, I know it’s been a while but here’s the next edition of To Fan an Old Flame. I know you’re eager to know what happened next. How did Christie treat Frank in the past? Did Frank recognize Christie and did they become friends again? Find out in this next part. Meanwhile, if you missed the first 3 parts then click to read Part I, Part II and Part III.

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Continued from last edition…..

She laughed softly under her breath and Frank asked her what amused her so. “Nothing much, I just remembered something that happened last night.” Christie shook her head slightly and giggled again. Then she realized that they were approaching the hall for the event. She knew she had to say something quickly and get rid of him. She was grateful for his help but she was already tired of his silence.

“This is where we’re holding the dinner tonight.”

She expected him to walk away but he stood there nervously, like he had something he really wanted to say.

“My name is Frank Daniel Kenechukwu. I’m a 300 Level student of Statistics.” He said.

Christie rolled her eyes. Did he really have to pronounce his full name like that. He was obviously a boring guy and Christie was seconds away from yawning. She checked herself in time. Her friend, Muna had told her the day before that she was too rude to guys. “I’m Cristabel Eze. 2nd year Marketing. Everybody calls me Christie.” She decided to toe his bee line.

Frank was silent for a while. Christie decided to break the silence again. “F.D.K,” She said.

“What did you say?” Frank asked.

“I said, F.D.K. Those are your initials, right?”

“Yes.” Frank laughed silently. He seemed to be thinking. “I’ve never thought about it that way.”

“Well, that’s a new thing then.” Christie shrugged. There was something cute about his bashfulness. Maybe she could be friends with him. After all, there were so many more assignments left to be done before they graduated. She smiled to herself at that mischievous thought.

They were in front of Abubakar Hall when Christie said, “Do you want to attend the dinner? Actually the IV is sold for N100 and N150 for two persons. It is for a complete meal.”

“Really? It is very cheap. What kind of meal is that?” Frank looked suspicious.

Christie laughed casually. She had had to answer that question a number of times. “It is for a whole meal and you have two options of; rice with moi moi and chicken, including fruit salad and a drink or eba and egusi soup with fish. It has been subsidized by my fellowship. The idea is to get people to attend the dinner and also deliver the word of God to them. You gain both ways.” For some reason, Christie hoped he would turn down the invitation.

“In that case, I would love to attend. Do I need to dress formally? Do you have any date or can I get tickets for both of us?”

Christie was surprised. She hadn’t expected him to be interested and she hadn’t thought about being anybody’s date to the dinner. “Yes, the dress code is formal. A shirt and trouser would do for you. I don’t think I’ll be needing a date since I’m part of the organizers.”

His face fell. “It wouldn’t be fun for me to go there alone.”

For some reason, Christie felt like cheering him up. She didn’t know how to turn someone who had been of much help to her that night down. “Okay, I’ll try as much as I can to squeeze out time to sit with you if you attend.”

Frank smiled like a toddler, “Thank you, Christie, let me go and get ready.” He walked away quickly.

Christie walked into the hall. Satisfied that everything had been prepared the way she wanted, she went to her hostel, quickly changed into a formal purple dress with sequined detail on the neckline. She admired her look of simplicity with a touch of class. Then she went back to the hall.

The hall was already quite full. She had expected a large turn up but she never imagined it that way. She soon spotted Frank in a tuxedo. Christie was surprised. She hadn’t expected him to take it so seriously. She walked over to him. He looked as if he was ready to bolt from the room any minute. Christie smiled warmly at him, “You’re welcome. I didn’t know you would make it.”

“Am I okay in this?” Frank adjusted his slightly over-sized jacket.

Christie had always be known to be blunt, “You shouldn’t have bothered dressing up so much. A shirt and trouser would have been just fine.”

Frank blushed so much that his pimples even looked purple.

Christie laughed and bumped his shoulders playfully to ease the tension “Relax, you look okay.” He seemed to relax a bit and even smiled.

The rest of the evening went smoothly. Everything went according to plan. Well, everything except for one of the guest artistes who didn’t show up. The story was that her car had broken down on the way so she and her crew were unable to make it to the dinner. It wasn’t much of a setback. The rest of the event went so well that the Head Pastor even called Christie and commended her for a job well done. She beamed with smiles as she walked back to meet Frank who was waiting patiently for her. She had managed to shuttle effectively between Frank’s table and organizing the event.

After that night, Frank became a regular figure by her side. He visited her so often that he was often referred to as one of her roommates. He helped her out with class work as much as he could even though they weren’t even course mates. Christie heard from a reliable source in his class that he was a candidate for a first class degree in Statistics. Frank eventually asked Christie to be his girlfriend a couple of months after they started seeing each other. She turned down his offer. He just wasn’t her type. Muna had told her to give Frank a chance. He seemed like a nice guy. Christie couldn’t get past the pimples on his face or his tall, gangly frame.

That was seven years ago. The Frank standing behind that powerful desk wasn’t the same Frank she used to know. This Frank wasn’t skinny and had no single pimple or spot on his face. He didn’t stutter when he spoke. He wasn’t wearing ridiculous white-rimmed glasses, instead he had on a very cute pair of black Chanel glasses. He didn’t look nervous or unsure of himself. He was well built and was wearing a starched sky-blue shirt with a patterned navy blue tie over well cut trousers.

“Oh my God! Frank, what a surprise!’ Christie said and walked closer to the table.

He extended his hand and smiled coolly. “Hello Christie, what a pleasant surprise too. What are you doing in my office?”

To be continued….

Femmetotale

Watch out for the next part of To Fan an Old Flame. You’re sure going to love it! 🙂

To Fan an Old Flame III

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Sorry femmes, I know this part has taken quite a while. I hope you’ll forgive me though after you read the end **winks*.

….continued from last edition

“Are you having problems with your computer?” someone beside her said. His voice had a soft, boyish tone and he was peeking at her from behind white-rimmed eye glasses. Christie nodded reluctantly, wondering what this boy with a face covered with reddish acne could do to help her.

“Try restarting the system. It is probably frozen,” he said.

Christie wondered why she hadn’t thought about that earlier. She thanked him and reached down to find the power off button. She almost felt embarrassed when she couldn’t find it and was about to tell him that when Frank reached across her legs and switched off the system manually.

Shortly after that he restarted the computer and within moments it was working properly. Christie said a very grateful thank you to him and started browsing the internet. She wondered if that slight smile on his face was him blushing or if he was just happy he could fix the problem. She ran into another hitch within a few minutes. She couldn’t find any document on Google search related to the topic she was doing the assignment on. Frank quickly came to her rescue again, even drawing up his chair closer to her screen. He assured her that he was very good at finding stuff on the internet and got right to it. Within a few minutes he had found five documents that were closely related to her assignment and she did the assignment quickly. Christie was all smiles as she thanked him. Again, there was that shy smile on his face.

Having found what she came for, Christie pulled her seat back and made to leave. Frank nearly fell off his seat as he stood up at the same time. He blushed, “Are you ready to leave?” Christie would have wanted to roll her eyes and say something sarcastic but she held her tongue and said yes. She had to be nice to someone that just saved her from spending a whole day at the computer centre. “Okay, I’m done too,” He said.

Christie walked out of the hall silently and he walked beside her, saying nothing. Occasionally Christie would glance at him and catch him watching her. He would look away quickly, the pimples on his face seeming more reddish each time he blushed. She decided to break the ice. “Which way are you going?”

He scratched his head and laughed nervously, “I’m not even sure. I just wanted to walk you back to your hostel.”

“I’m not even going to my hostel. I’m on my way to Abubakar Hall. I’m organizing a programme there tonight.”

“Then I’ll walk you there.”

Christie would have protested but she saw no harm in it so she let him walk her. The only problem she had with him was that he didn’t talk much. Christie had been called ‘radio-without-battery’ a good number of times and was yet to find someone who could match her in the number of words she spoke per minute. She had been told countless times that she would end up marrying someone quiet or else there would be trouble yet she just couldn’t stand dating a quiet guy talk less of marrying one. Thinking about dating, Christie knew she had to dismiss Frank soon. She didn’t like the way he was tailing her and something told her he was minutes away from gathering courage to ask her out.

Christie chuckled slightly as she remembered the last episode she had endured the night before. She had been walking to her hostel when she heard someone calling out to her, “Excuse me…excuse me,” the voice said. She had stopped abruptly and a short, stocky guy who had been hot on her heels bumped into her. “Yes?” Christie said, flippantly.

“Erm…erm…” He stammered.

“How can I help you?” Christie was about to walk away.

He suddenly grabbed her arm and said, “Shakespeare said, if music be the food of love, play on.”

Christie was too shocked to respond immediately and he took the cue to give a second one, “Aristotle said….” Christie burst into raucous laughter and quickly walked away. She couldn’t wait to tell her friends about the guy who must have rehearsed those ridiculous lines for hours, waiting for the girl that would fall for it.

She laughed softly under her breath and Frank asked her what amused her so. “Nothing much, I just remembered something that happened last night.” Christie shook her head slightly and giggled again. Then she realised that they were approaching the hall for the event. She knew she had to say something quickly and get rid of him. She was grateful for his help but she was already tired of his silence.

To be continued…

To Fan an Old Flame II

The second part you’ve been waiting for is finally here. If you missed the beginning part of To Fan an Old Flame then click here to read it.

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Continued from last edition.

Christie gasped in surprise as recognition flooded his face while her mind flashed back to that day 7 years ago when she had first met Frank.

It was on the first of October. Christie could still remember that day vividly. Firstly, because she had been appointed (it was more like she had volunteered) to organize an Independence Day celebration dinner for her fellowship that evening. The day had started with a flurry of activities and her to-do list still had thousands of un-ticked items awaiting her attention. Christie was good at organizing events and she in fact lived for it. It was one of the reasons why she had suggested that they should hold an event to commemorate the Independence Day in church wearing different shades of green and white. She had planned a grand event with notable guest speakers from other churches and popular music artistes. Perspiration beaded her forehead as she remembered yet another task she was yet to perfect in preparation for that evening. The flowers for the decoration were yet to be delivered. She dabbed at her forehead with her white handkerchief as she barked orders to her assistant to call the lady who was to deliver the flowers. Anybody watching her would think that Christie was under enormous pressure but on the contrary she was enjoying every bit of it. She was born to be in the limelight and being in charge of people gave her an extra burst of joy no one could understand.

The second reason why Christie would not forget that day in a hurry was what brought her in contact with Frank in the first place. She had been in the middle of supervising the seating arrangement when she suddenly remembered that she had an assignment to turn in the next day. The course was an elective course in computer application and the lecturer involved was very strict. The papers were to be submitted at 8 am the next day and it had been rumoured that the lecturer was known to use his assignments as tests so she knew she had to act fast. Christie quickly called Juliana, her immediate assistant for the purpose of organizing the dinner and asked her to hold forth while she rushed out to get something done.

Stopping by at her room in the three-storey hostel building, Christie picked up the notebook where she had written the questions and rushed to the University Cyber Cafe. It was in those days when computers were still novelty. Computer centres were few and people who had some form of expertise in the use of computers were even fewer. The big hall which housed about thirty computers was quite full and Christie was still contemplating whether to leave the place and find an alternative when someone stood up from his seat and she quickly took his place.

Christie looked behind her and saw the number of people that were still waiting for a chance to use a free system and felt very favoured. She smiled to herself and moved her cursor to click on the internet browser. At first, when the cursor didn’t move, she wiped her sweaty palms on her skirt, wondering why she felt that it would help in any way. Within the next few minutes of trying to move the mouse she realised that she may not have been very lucky to have gotten that free computer after all.

“Are you having problems with your computer?” Someone beside her asked. His voice had a soft, boyish tone and he was peeking at her from behind white-rimmed eye glasses. Christie nodded reluctantly, wondering what this boy with a face covered with reddish acne could do to help her.

To be continued…

Watch out for the next part of To Fan an Old Flame. You’re sure going to love it! 🙂

Something to love

Couple hugging in urban park

They say men love toys and they never get over their love for toys no matter what age they are. I mean, girls love to play with dolls but that’s just cos of their natural instinct to care for something other than themselves and they do get over it. When they get older, they become more concerned about things like fashion, make-up, looking good, gisting, etc…lol. Guys on the other hand, hmm…they never get over their toys rather the toys just get more expensive (talk about PS4, expensive cars and the rest)…lol. A guy makes some huge amount of money and the next thing he’s thinking about is that toy he had always dreamed of having, like the guitar used by Elvis Presley himself (or something that looks like that) never mind that he doesn’t know how to play a guitar. Okay, someone is thinking I’m just being gender biased. Am I? We’ll see.

You know what’s best about having toys? They’re easy to relate with. They don’t talk back at you, argue with you or walk away from you. It is your property and you can use it anyway you like, who’s going to object as long as it doesn’t affect anybody else’s peace. What’s more, you can change your toy into anything you want. For instance, you can pimp up your car like a gangstaz ride. Just send it to pimp-my-ride and they will have it back for you looking like you just stepped out of Men in Black with it. Your car is never going to complain about the changes you made to it. All other toys can be changed at anytime at the snap of your finger. After all, it’s your property.

So now you’re in a relationship and you say you’re in love but you’ve never quite gotten over the habit of changing things into what you want. If only I can change this part of her just a little bit or if I could mold her into my idea of the perfect woman then maybe I’ll really fall in love with her. Did I only say, ‘her’? We ladies are sometimes just as caught up in that bad attitude of wanting to change someone into someone we can love too. Once anybody wants to change you into someone he can love then that’s a clear indication that he doesn’t love you. Love starts from acceptance.

So he’s been telling you that he loves fair girls and would have preferred if you were fair. Now you’re asking around for the safest type of bleaching cream to start using. Or maybe he told you that your chest is too flat and you’re spending hours on the internet reading about the best way to get bigger boobs. Or has he told you that he doesn’t like the sound of your voice and you keep mute whenever you’re together so that he won’t have cause to complain? So how long do you think you’re going to last in that?

If you love someone then you must accept that person the way she is. Love in itself is acceptance. Love does not force change. God loves us despite our many flaws. It is the knowledge of His love that causes us to see our inadequacies and desire to change. This doesn’t mean that we should continue in wrong conduct and resist change. This is just a reminder that if God does not force change in us then we have no place forcing change in anybody else.

So if you really desire change in your partner, instead of coercing or nagging daily, try love. Try the God-kind of love and you’ll get the change you desire.

Femmetotale

NB: If you were inspired by this post, don’t just read and smile :D. Get involved! Share on your social networks, facebook and twitter. You never know whose life you’re going to help change. Have a great weekend!

Flying witches by day

Large high heel looming over businesswoman

Dreams do come true, you know. Everybody has a dream or at least once had a dream. The most common of all dreams is the dream to succeed in life. In fact, that is one dream we don’t even need to close our eyes at night to have. You may be sitting in a chair, having a drink with friends or just napping and the dream starts. You will wake up with that euphoric feeling that drives you harder towards success. To really live, you need to have a dream. That dream is hope. That dream is the one we hope will one day come true.

Well, there are other kinds of dreams we don’t even want to remember when we wake up. You know the kind of dream where you see witches flying in the noontime. The kind of witches that don’t wait for the cover of darkness to bare their fangs and ride their supernatural long-broom-fighter-jets to wreck havoc on your life. The kind of dream you scream without a sound and wonder if that is the day you will breathe your last…lol.

If you were given a chance to choose your dreams I know there’s no way you would want to dream of noonday witches. You’d rather not sleep than have such dreams or maybe you’ll prefer to sleep at a shrine that night, never mind that the ridiculous images hanging there should be enough to terrify anybody. Okay, this is the type of dream you’d rather not talk about and the kind you pray will never come true.

Talking about dreams and success, do you ever wonder if you have the capacity to handle success when God grants it to you? I see you shrugging, saying to yourself, ‘Do I need any special skill to handle success? Anybody can handle success now.’ Please not everybody can handle success. In fact, for some people it is better not to even attain success. They sleep better at night and nap well in the daytime without success. In fact, if it were possible to ask God for a reversal of their success and to forgive them for ever nagging Him with their prayers, they would have done so rather than live with the result of their success.

Success requires courage!

After God grants you success you need courage to live with it. Some people work so hard and after they succeed, they stay awake at night afraid that someone will break into the house and take it all away. Some others pray for jobs and after they get the job they become paranoid, thinking someone in their office must be haunting them. Maybe you have been praying for a promotion and from the day you got that promotion, you started seeing shadows walking beside you in the daytime, thinking that your colleagues are jealous enough to send spiritual forces after you. Your prayers are no longer about excelling in your new position, you’re too busy calling the names of the witches you suspect are after you. There’s no way you can accept to sit on the chair of the person you took over from, she must have dropped some kind of spiritual poison on it. In fact, your first task as soon as you take over the office is to get a new chair and get the cleaners to remove all the cobwebs in the office just in case she uses them as spiritual antennae to monitor your progress.

Ladies, we need to get rid of all these superstitious beliefs that we jumble up with our Christianity. The way people get so frightened whenever they hear about witches and wizards is so funny. How can you be afraid of something you are greater than? Worst of all some ‘gospel hustlers’ and MOG are making use of this to take hold of people. Any MOG who truly has the spirit of God in him will tell you that ‘greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world.’ Do you know where you rank in spiritual hierarchy? The word of God says that ‘what is man that you have made him just a little lower than Elohim’ and theologians have interpreted that verse to mean that man is just a little lower than God. You can’t be a child of God and still be so terrified of people sending spiritual forces against you. If anything, you should be more worried about someone stabbing you physically in the back. That’s the one you may not be able to control physically. As for the spiritual one, forget it. You are more than a conqueror. You are seated with Christ far above principalities and powers.

So, if you want to be the Femmetotale, forget the witches flying at noontime. That’s the most they can do. As a matter of fact, they should be terrified of you.

Femmetotale