My Proverbs 32 Man, Joseph

Man adjusting cuff link

Ok, before you read this, you must promise not to drool over Joseph and please don’t even think about getting him for yourself. Now that you’ve promised, you may read this post 😀 Enjoy!

Last year, I saw this amazing post on One+The One’s blog and I couldn’t help but reblog it on femmetotale. It was about the Proverbs 32 man, aka the virtuous dude. Now, you must know that it is quite unusual to hear about the virtuous man. All we hear day in, year out is about that perfect woman called the virtuous woman. Nobody thought it was important enough to give men a manual on what a virtuous man should be like unlike the very detailed writing of King Lemuel’s mother who told him about the virtuous woman. My girl did a very humourous and insightful piece on her blog, telling us what the virtuous man should be like. Guys, I hope it wasn’t too impossible to emulate.

I read this amazing post on Dr. N’s blog about how to choose a husband. Isn’t it just exciting to hear what a lady who leads her life based on godly principles has to say about choosing a husband? You have to check out what she has to say yourself. Just Click here to read or follow the link, The part that really struck me at first was where she described what a husband is. In her own words, “Who is a husband? A husband is a gardener. He spends his life tending his garden (you), and reaps at harvest time.” Hmmm…. rich! Then next, she described what she looked out for in her man and the one that stood out most for me was Love for the Lord. She said, “I needed a man so passionate about Jesus that it showed. One who loves going to church, sowing, praying and so on. He should be the priest of the home. I had no intention of being the one dragging him to church, praying over the kids, e.t.c. Single and available lady (not searching please… you should be sought for) lady, please take note of these great qualities too.

So, according to the Catholic calendar, the Saint of the day is Joseph, the father of Jesus and I believe he is one virtuous man every man in our generation should model his life after. He was definitely a man whose passion for the things of God showed and he was the Priest of his home. I love the fact that even when he thought that Mary had become pregnant by being unfaithful to him, he showed maturity by deciding to send her away discretely so as not to shame her. That’s what true love does. Love does not act out in anger. How many men today would treat suspicions of unfaithfulness in that manner? Also, he needed to be able to hear from God and be sensitive in the spirit to recognize that it was the voice of God when the Angel appeared to him and told him to take Mary as his wife because she was carrying the saviour of the world in her womb. His singular act of obedience was enough to ensure that the plans of salvation which God had made would work. We don’t need men who will be so intoxicated with alcohol that their spiritual ears will remain deaf to the voice of God.

Joseph was a regular man like any other. He didn’t have extraordinary strength of character. He was only made extra-ordinary by his obedience to the voice of God. So you see, the virtuous man is not a figment of our imaginations. He did exist and still does exist.


PS: Sorry I couldn’t post the next edition of To Fan An Old Flame today. Please watch out for it tomorrow!

Last first date – An Exciting Meet

Young Couple Drinking Wine

You all probably know by now how much I love hearing love stories, about how meeting a stranger blossoms into something beautiful and lasting. After all, every friend you have today was once a stranger but by sharing certain interests and getting involved in each other’s lives, that one-time stranger quickly becomes a part of your life.

I’m always interested in the ‘first meet’ part of every love story. It’s amazing to hear about how a man bumped into a lady and helped her pick up her books that fell and got scattered on the floor. One thing led to another and they fell in love and lived happily ever and after. I know I’ve seen that a lot in movies but does it happen in real life? I mean, out here in the real world we seem to meet that ‘special someone’ in least expected places like; on the road (under the scorching sun), or at the ATM point (where you were waiting impatiently for your turn) or….. the market. Okay, before I go spilling the beans again, my girl, Tosin met that ‘special someone’ at a least expected place and she dished it all right out to me. When I read her mail, I was just about to eat my fried yam and stew which I had been longing for all day. Here’s how it went. Hear it right from her. My own words are in brackets and italics.

Hi Femmetotale,

I commented on your post about the “last first date” and you asked me to share my experience and here it is.

This happened around 4yrs back when I was still in the University. I came around from school to visit my cousin in Ibadan. I cannot remember the incident word for word but I remember the encounter vividly. Biko! don’t laugh too much. (Ok, girl you know when you tell someone not to laugh too much it automatically gets them laughing. 🙂 )

My cousin had gone to work and I was left alone at home. I was so bored that I decided to spice up my day. I went to Sango market to buy some foodstuffs. I also decided to buy some CD’s at a stand and that was how I met this guy. (Oooooohhhh….this is the part I so love to hear about… how they met… I’m all ears!)

We got talking about movies. I realised he was an avid movie watcher just like me. He sounded so nice and we exchanged numbers. He called me the next day and this was when the drama started. While we were talking, something led to another and I told him I had not yet taken my bath. He scolded me and told me to go and bath joor.

Then the shocker came. He said, “I don’t want to go out with a smelling girl”. * Jaw drops* Did I hear this guy correctly? He just said I was smelling! (HUH? WHAT!!!!! Babes, I don’t think your jaw dropped as low as mine. Even my mum would scold my brothers for telling their sister that she’s smelling. It’s a big cultural ‘no no’)

Foolish me, I overlooked that language. I didn’t know it was a sign of more to come. We continued talking and we agreed to meet in an eatery. I cleaned up and got dressed, hoping to have fun with my new date. *rolling my eyes*. On getting to the eatery, I called him to come out to meet me but he asked me to come inside. I hate looking all around for my first dates in an unfamiliar place. (A guy I was talking to recently actually said that only a girl that doesn’t know her worth goes to search for the guy on a first date. He should be the one to come out and search. I didn’t particularly agree with him then but Tosin’s story is making me wish I had.) I insisted so he agreed to come out. He called me that he was outside but I couldn’t still see him. We kept talking on phone till I located him. Just before he dropped the call, I heard something like Olodo! Gbam! The second shocker! Olodo ke, I don enter am today! (Okay, at this point my jaw dropped so low that the yam I was about to eat fell out of my mouth. WHAT???)

We went inside, made our orders and settled down. Then another drama started.

# Part 1) He asked to see the contents of my purse and I refused. Then we started dragging my purse together and when I would not release it he became pissed. (No comments on this one. What was he hoping to see in the bag, biko?)

# Part 2) We continued eating and chatting. All of a sudden, he asked to see my stomach!  “Stomach ke! Inside eatery, see my life o!” I blatantly refused and he was even more pissed.

# Part 3) I still stayed and we kept talking. Then he asked, “Who even told you that you are beautiful?” Ehn see question…. I didn’t still take offense. I smiled and told him that I have friends and families who compliment me. He gave me a mocking expression and said, “You are not fine. You are just OK.”

*Alarm bells sounding in my head* That was the last straw. I said to myself, “This is the last day you will ever see me!!!!”

I kept my cool and decided to leave few minutes later. You know another shocking thing? He wanted me to go home with him! Insult upon injury! Of course, I bluntly refused. (Okay, this is the one that just makes me mad. Why would you meet someone and ask her to go home with you on the same day? Even oyibos keep it simple till the third date except she’s the one that invited you to her place. Ladies, please help me out here!)
Some days later, he sent me a text that I didn’t even call or text him. He said “It’s so sad because it shows he didn’t mean anything to me.”

“Argggh! Call fire! He even had the nerve to get in touch after all that.”

Every girl I told the story to was angry with me for putting up with such nonsense.

Femmetotale, I am sure if you were my mother or elder sister, you would have beaten me for even taking such. (hahahahahaha… nope, I wouldn’t have beaten you. I’d have asked you why you didn’t call me immediately to come and take you away from there. Lolz…) Anyways, I am wiser now o! 

Tosin Florence Eyebiokin

We’ve all had to sit through bad dates before but this guy takes the cake. When I read about Tosin’s experience, at first, my jaw dropped and then dropped lower and then got shut cos I was mighty pissed. I sense that the guy is uncultured and just plain abusive and I pity the girl who will have to live through that for the rest of her life. The first ‘no no’ was telling the girl that she was smelling. Ok, I know guys you’re very close to can get away with that but not someone you’ve just met. The last straw that broke the camel’s back for me was when he told her that she wasn’t beautiful. I mean, who does that? Some people deserve to be put in that place that starts with the letter Z, kai! Anyways, thank God you were able to escape on time before he did more damage on you.

Ladies, I hope you could relate with Tosin’s experience. I sure did. Tosin is an amazing blogger and she blogs at You know that feeling you get when you’re walking by the brooks at dawn? That’s how her writing makes me feel… peaceful. You should go check out her blog.

Do have a splendid week and don’t forget to keep being complete.


PS: Last First Date is still up! Remember you can share your own bizarre dating experience with us. Just send a mail to

How to get the girl of your dreams III

© Copyright 2009 Corbis Corporation

The weekend is here again and today we say goodbye to the old month and welcome to the new. I see you dancing to the TGIF tune and planning your fun for the weekend. Well, here’s a little something to add to your fun right here on Femmetotale. Still on how to get the girl of your dreams, we’ve got some tips on how to get that girl you want, bearing in mind that we should seek what we deserve and not merely what we desire. If you missed the other editions then please click here and here to see the background to this post.

Meanwhile, I came across this funny video. I think it is old but I found it to be so true of girls that I just had to share it.

Are we ladies really this complicated? What am I even saying? We are really that complicated, reading meanings into things that are perfectly simple and nagging a guy into frustration. Well, before I go spilling the beans and spoiling the fun, why don’t you watch it yourself and see if it is true!

So about getting the girl you want, here are some more tips that are sure to get you what you want.

#3. Show confidence: If you’ve prepared yourself well and made sure that you make a good first impression, the next thing you have to remember is that you should show confidence. Confidence is a very attractive garment and it looks good on anybody as long as it is not excessive. Overconfident people are just plain annoying. Confidence is the reason why some people who have no business being on TV have our attentions and we nod to the beats of their music (I won’t mention names but you get the drift. 😀 ). It doesn’t necessarily have to do with having a lot of money in your bank account but having a deep sense of worth and value of yourself. You know, it’s funny how a dog can sniff out your fear and bark louder as soon as it notices that you are afraid. Somehow, girls know when you are acting really nervous and it puts them ill at ease like, “if you have something to say then say it already.” Don’t worry if she’s particularly making you nervous just keep your cool. The next thing you must pay attention to is her body language.

#4. Read the signs: Girls say a lot of things without really saying them. The greatest challenge men have in relationships is the ability to read body language. It is a great social skill that everybody should have. Every smart girl should know how to read a man’s body language and that’s what the girl in the video should have been smart enough to know or did she? You judge. These signs are often universal except for a few that are peculiar to people from particular regions. For instance, when an Indian is saying yes, we Nigerians may think he’s saying no. Apart from that there are basic body signs every guy should know.

  • If you’re talking to a girl and she’s shifting from foot to foot and looking around her impatiently then you can tell that she’s bored and can’t wait to get away from you.
  • If she keeps touching her ears while you’re talking and looking at anybody else but you then you can tell that she has no interest in what you’re saying and can’t wait to get away from you.
  • If her hands are on her hips, then she might be waiting, impatiently or just tired
  • Pay attention to the feet! A fast tapping, shifting of weight, or movement of the foot will most often mean that she is impatient, excited or nervous.
  • Okay, this is one that I find totally hilarious. Some people may point their feet to the direction of where they want to go or sometimes towards their interest. So if it’s pointing at you, she may be interested in you. If she leans forward while you’re speaking then she’s interested in listening to you.

These few tips on body language should be able to get you on the right note. You can find out more on how to read body language by simply reading books about it. At least I know I did. It’s a great social skill.

More tips coming right up on this column. Don’t forget to drop your comments and let’s see if these tips really do work.

Keep being complete!


PS: Sorry I was unable to upload the video. Will upload later tonight. Last First Date is still up! Remember you can share your own bizarre dating experience with us. Just send a mail to

How to get the girl of your dreams


I guess over a million articles have been written on how to get the man of your dreams, how to get him to propose to you, how to make him fall in love with you and etcetera. Right there, while writing all those stuff women want to hear, nobody remembers that the man is not a superhuman. Getting a girl he likes is not a skill that comes naturally to him. As a matter of fact, women are probably better prepared for relationships in life because right from childhood, her mom, some aunty or cousin starts drumming it into her ears that she has to play hard-to-get for a man #MakeHimSweatFirst 😀 so that he will value you more. She is taught how to keep a man fascinated and with the myriads of articles on it, she is more than prepared for relationships.

For the man, it is so not the same. Very few fathers have time to teach their sons how to get a girl and so most of the time he depends on stuff he hears from his friends (who don’t really know better, anyway), stuff he watches on TV or he simply does it the way he feels. The few lucky ones get it right through their natural talents or pick up some good skills after getting it wrong a few times. Some others are so cute that the girls naturally do all the chasing and they only make their choices. Still some others try and fail so much and they keep wondering why they can’t seem to get the girl they really want. Is there something wrong or something they aren’t doing right? There are two things you must know; first, not every girl will like you the way you like her because she may well be the girl of your dream but you may not be the man of her dream and secondly you cannot always make someone like you. Try your best with a few good steps but if the response is not positive then know when to bow out.  

Some people say that husbands are scarce and there are so many girls available every where. Recently, I’ve heard guys say that girls are everywhere but wives are scarce. Surprising right? They say that the available girls are everywhere but they find it difficult to get the ones they really want. Just because you want a car doesn’t mean that you’d be happy to drive pure water (with due respect to pure water owners). A man also wants to get the girl of his dream.

You’ve also heard it said that good girls always go for the bad boys. Why is that? It’s very sigood girlsmple. The bad boys are the ones that know how to get the girls. Good guys often carry last (#thesadtruth). Have you also noticed that the bad guys aren’t always the most handsome or the richest ones? They just know the right things to say and they have the best techniques. As the very nice girl that I am, I decided to do a little fact finding for you guys so I asked the few bad guys I know what their secrets are and what charm they use in getting all the girls. You want to know what I discovered? Well, in order not to make this a very long post, I’ve decided to end it here and wait for your go-ahead to conclude it. Ladies, if you feel the guys really need to hear this then I need your consent and gents if you want to hear this then also feel free to say so.

Till I get your go-ahead…keep being blessed and have a fruitful week.



NB: Hey Femmes, I’m starting a new sub-category under my Memoirs of a Single Christian Chic called Last First dates. There some first dates that end with goodbye forever simply because someone did something stupid or did not do something right. If you have any hilarious experience that is worth sharing then please send me a brief summary of your story to my e-mail, Don’t worry your identity will be kept private if you so wish. Meanwhile, I’m sharing mine first 😉 .

It’s a girl thing


When she’s sad she cries and when she’s happy she cries too. One minute the tears of hurt are running down her cheeks and the next she’s shedding tears of joy. You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’

She tells you she’s absolutely crazy about a pair of shoes she just bought. They’re very high and look pretty dangerous no matter how beautiful they are. You’re thinking, “Isn’t it crazy to wear those heels?” but she’s thinking of being the center of attention in them. You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’

She tries on the first dress and takes it off saying it’s not beautiful enough. She tries on the second one and says it’s too loose on her. She wears the third and says she can’t breathe in that. After trying on the fifth option she decides to wear the first. You’re sitting in the car for over 30 minutes, honking impatiently cos you don’t want to be late for the engagement party you’re attending together. You wonder why she couldn’t have made up her mind 30 minutes ago. You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’

When you go out together, you meet someone she says was one of her best friends. They scream and hug each other like girls who haven’t seen each other in decades. Later on she tells you that she can’t stand her friend and gives you reasons why hates her friend more than the devil. “How come you’re friends with her then?” you ask. She just rolls her eyes at you and says ‘because….’ You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’

She’s pouting and looking really mad at you when you see her. You ask her what is wrong with her. She tells you she’s fine and you’re not to worry about her. You take a deep breath and relax, thanking God that she wasn’t upset with you for forgetting her birthday. Later that day she accuses you of not loving her anymore. You apologize and wonder why she said there was no problem earlier.  You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’

She tells you that she always wants you to be completely honest with her and she always wants you to tell her the truth no matter what. When she asks you if she’s the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen. You tell her she’s not and she becomes angry with you.  You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’


My Proverbs 32 Man… aka The Virtuous Dude!


I came across this hilarious-slash-true-as-ever piece and I thought I should share it. I would have reblogged it but I couldn’t find what app to use so I decided it copy it and share the link here – The words in brackets and italics are mine. Enjoy!

We have all heard about the famous Proverbs 31 woman. You know the one that many men want their wives to be modeled after and many mothers want their sons to marry (ask King Lemuel’s mother!). If you still don’t know about this legendary woman I am referring to, then you need to read the book of Proverbs, chapter 31 from verse 10- till the end…22 whole verses dedicated to identifying the ideal wife. (Point to note ladies, it’s quite a high call and only by divine unction can you fit the bill 🙂 Not surprisingly the rather long list of achievements was wisely given to King Lemuel by his beloved mother (thank God for mothers-in-law right?). I can almost imagine that he either was the only son, the first son or the last son.

I have always wondered though that King Lemuel had the good fortune of having a mother who could let him in on the secret of finding a virtuous wife, but how about the ‘virtuous’ husband?

So  a few years back, we did a survey with about 15 lovely Christian ladies and asked them what qualities they looked out for in a man to make up what we term our ‘PROVERBS 32 MAN’.. I am taking a step further to write it down and make it plain on tablets. Guys you definitely want to read this and run with it. Enjoy!

‘Qualities of the PROVERBS 32’ Man

 V.1 Who can find a virtuous husband? For his worth is far above precious stones.

V.2 He must be a man as GENEROUS as David – David was a man who GAVE! When it was time to build the Lord’s temple, he was prepared to give his all and his best. In addition, he was a cheerful giver and gave without complaining or grumbling. He must be willing to show his love to me and others by giving with a generous heart – 1Chronicles 22 – emphasis on v5 – (Seems that thing about giving needs a whole sermon of its own preached)

 V.3 He must be as UNDERSTANDING as Joseph the father of Jesus – He was a man who understood his betrothed, Mary and believed her when she said to him that she became pregnant by the holy spirit –Matthew 1:18-25 (Now, this part really got me…how many men in their right senses will believe that cock and bull story these days. You got preggie outside wedlock and now you’re claiming that it happened by divine visitation…hmm. That Joseph must have been a real man!)

V.4 He must be as TRUTHFUL as Samuel – Imagine getting a word from the Lord that your master and his sons would perish and being able to say it exactly as it is to him, word for word not minding the consequence, that was Samuel! – 1 Samuel 3: 16 – 18 (That’s bold and truthful indeed!)

 V.5 He must be as LOVING as Hosea – Hosea loved his wife and took her back even though she repeatedly committed adultery with other men! He obeyed God’s instruction to love her irrespective of what she had done – Hosea 3:1-3 (Do we even have anyone called Hosea in existence now? No man wants to even imagine the thought of his wife cheating on him with another man not to talk of a prostitute).

V.6 He must be as FAITHFUL as Joseph was to Potiphar – Joseph refused to sleep with his master Potiphar’s wife. He should be able to remain faithful to me even when ‘opportunities’ willingly present themselves as they so often do! – Genesis 39 (A faithful man who can find? For his worth is far above gold!)

 V.7 He must be as HANDSOME as David – David was a ‘swaggerlicious’ dude, end of story – 1 Samuel 16:12 (I liked the word, swaggerlicious…when are they even going to add that to the English dictionary. Anyway, David was all that and he still loved God that much. So why do some guys seem to think that having swag means you can’t be a church boy?)

 V.8 He must be WELL SPOKEN like Paul – Paul is credited with writing many of the letters in the New Testament, the brother had a way with words. He must be able to speak to me in ‘secret’ love languages – Galatians 2:20, Romans 7:15 – Some examples of his many colloquy (That man really had a way with words. He was an orator, well versed, learned, and a master of language. I’d be proud to have me man speak with such eloquence like Paul).

V.9 He must be as STRONG as Samson – Samson was so strong, he killed a thousand men with the jawbone of an ass! He must be able to lift up and carry and move and push etc – Judges 15:15 (Now, I’ve got to put a lil brake on that one…strong yes but if the images I’ve seen of Samson in illustrated children’s bible are anything to go buy then I’ll have to say, ‘maybe not all that strong…’ He should not be a willy ninny though)

 V.10 – He must be as RESPECTFUL as Abraham – When Abraham had 3 guests, he treated them with respect and care, it turned out to be that they were angels! He should be able to recognize the angel and the gift of God that I am and treat me as such and with R.E.S.P.E.C.T! -Genesis 18: 1-8 (I totally agree. Being bold doesn’t mean he should be haughty)

 V.11 – He must be a GOOD LISTENER like Samuel – Samuel was such a good listener, he was able to hear the still small voice of the Lord. He must be able to listen to the things that I am saying and not quite saying -1 Samuel 3 (Yea, I’d love that also so that  I can comfortably sleep at night, knowing that his spiritual antenna is up…lol)

V.12 – He must be a PROVIDER like Jacob – Jacob worked 14 (!) years for the woman he loved and wanted to marry. A hardworking man is able to provide for his family – Genesis 29:15-30 (Wow, 14 years just to get one woman…guys that should tell you something. I also get that he must have loved her too much to give up).

 V.13 – He must be as SUCCESSFUL as Isaac – Isaac was a great man indeed and he continued to wax great until he became very great – Genesis 26:13 (Great but she forgot to add *wealthy*. Now, I know we’re not supposed to attach so much importance to wealth in relationships but I couldn’t help noticing that although he inherited his father’s wealth, he also multiplied this wealth. That shows that he was a man with vision).

V.14 – He must be a PHILANTROPIST like David – 1 Chronicles 22 (I’d be proud to say that he’s a man who’s concerned about the less privileged).

V.15 – He must be the SPIRITUAL LEADER in the home like Joshua – Joshua 24:15 (Oooh that guy was really a spiritual leader. He made sure his leadership was always centered on God’s will).

V.16 – He must have ABS like Samson – A man who worked his muscles like Samson did, must have his 6-packs in check! If you don’t know what abs are, you can ask King Lemuel’s kind mother – Judges 16:12 (Hehehehehehe…I don’t know what to say here. Abs are great but if he can’t make it I think we can forgive that…lol)

V.17 – He must be as INTELLIGENT as Paul – Just take a look at the books of Romans, Ephesians, Galatians, Colossians, etc! The man was gifted like that!!

 V.18 – He must be as ROMANTIC as Solomon – He must have had some dangerous lyrics to spin for about a 1000 women! A man who waxes poetry for his beloved??! Definitely a keeper! -SOS 4:1-5 (Wow…talk about love poems, that dude called Solomon knew how to dish them out and he wasn’t stingy with compliments either. A man who can spin rhymes like that for me is definitely a keeper.)

 V.19 – He must have a GOOD SENSE OF HUMOUR like David – A King who is willing to dance so uninhibited in front of his subjects must also have a good sense of humour – 2Samuel 6: 16, 20 (I love to laugh…it’s good for the soul so he should be able to make me kick the air, wild with laughter).

V.20 – He must be CALM and COOL-HEADED like Moses – Any man who could lead those stiff-necked Israelites without drowning them himself in the red sea by striking the rod quickly must be something indeed. He must be able to withstand my (occasional) nagging without wringing my neck – Numbers 12:3 (I totally agree. Moses really is one of my favourites from the bible. He was humble to a fault and he was one of the greatest leaders in the bible, so great he was singled out to be one of those that witnessed Christ at the Mountain of transfiguration centuries after his death).

V.21 –He must be an APPRECIATOR and ENCOURAGER like Hosea – For Hosea to take his wife back and love her, he must have said kind words to her irrespective of the life of harlotry she was living, Hosea was also prepared to pay a high price for her even though she was seen as cheap and unworthy. He must be able to praise me and affirm me even when I don’t deserve it. In addition he must think (and show) that I’m all that and a bag of chips – Hosea 3:2 (I love that man, Hosea! He didn’t even care what people would say about him bringing back his wife into his home, a known harlot…)

V.22 – He must be as PURPOSEFUL as Daniel – When Daniel made up his mind, there was no shaking him. He must be able to stand by his word and have a purpose about what he wants to achieve and become – Daniel 1:8 (Daniel was a man of great convictions and I like a man that does not change his mind like the weather. Let your yes be your yes and no your no)

V.23 – He must be as COURAGEOUS as the 3 Hebrew boys, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego – They remained undaunted even with the threat of being thrown in the furnace – Daniel 3: 16-18 (A comedian once said that those boys must have been from Niger delta. Who has ever seen such courage?)

 V.24 – He must be as PATIENT as Job – Indulge me, let me get away with certain things, forgive my misdemeanours, love me patiently  – Job 14:14 (Ok, patient yea… but nobody is praying to have the kind of trials Job had. However, I like the aspect of being so faithful to God that he didn’t for once question His sovereignty or doubt his existence).

V.25 – Most importantly though, he must be prepared to love me as Christ loved the Church and laid down his life for itEphesians 5:25 ( Do you love me enough to die for me?).

….*Deep breath*… There you have it ladies and guys (still standing!) If you thought Proverbs 31 was a tall order, try the Proverbs 32 man…Guys can you think of anyone who can fill those shoes??? *smiling through my teeth* Of course not!

PS Though written slightly satirically, I desire a man with such qualities…. call me a hopeless romantic or tell me to pull my head outta the clouds…So help me God.


Culled from

Someone Please Tell the Guys!

Handsome fashion designer using digital tablet

You remember the old post, ‘Someone Please tell the girls,‘ that aimed to pull the girls out of their fairy tale reverie into the world of reality when it comes to relationships? Now here’s a little something for the guys too. Facts is: guys also have their ‘fairy tale’ notions about girls that need to change as well. So guys, sit back, relax and have fun finding out some of the things ladies sometimes want to roll their eyes when u do them.

Someone please tell the guys that she’s not your mother.
I know someone at this point wants to say, of course I know she’s not my mother. Umhmm, no she’s not but why then do you expect her to know how to cook exactly like your mother or treat you exactly the way your mother treats you. I hope you know that you’re not that 5 year old boy whose mom had to go down on her knees and tie his shoe laces before school in the mornings? I know in your eyes, ur mom was perfect. She always had your meals perfectly prepared and right on time. She cooked and cleaned without a complaint, helped you into your school clothes and never failed to pack a lunch box for you but then how won’t she seem perfect when you were looking up at her from the naive eyes of a child? You didn’t see the stress written on her face, or the nights she practically passed out on her bed with her hands almost numb with pain, or did you hear how much she nagged at your dad for not lifting a finger to help her? Did you even watch her cry hysterically that your dad didn’t show her any love and support? So you only saw the perfect side of her and now you expect your wife to be the same. Could you perhaps also be as perfect as her dad was to her too? Please try to have more realistic expectations of her. Your wife will never be like your mom so please don’t expect her to be.

Someone please tell the guys that not all girls are dummies
It’s sad that even in this jet age some people still think that all  girls are dummies. I find it alarming when I hear a guy say, ‘what do you know, you’re just a girl.’ And even more so when it’s a guy who is younger than the girl in question. I know you’re tempted to think that all ladies talk about is fashion and beauty and child rearing. Then a little bit of gossiping here and there. Please give her a little more credit that she’s also a human being that has ideas, goals and aspirations and she definitely has something to offer too. It has not been scientifically proven that women have smaller brains than men. So stop treating her like a child or something of no relevance.
Someone please tell the guys that there’s a manual on ladies
Yes oh, there’s a manual on ladies but it’s not one written by your buddies so you can stop asking them for advice. Remember the phone you just bought? Did you see a small white booklet in it with instructions? I know you didn’t bother to read it, afterall the functions of phones are basically the same so you can use your head knowledge. Ok, good for you but for ladies it doesn’t come that easy. There’s a specific manual for each lady specifically made by her creator. Sorry, it doesn’t come with the package, you actually have to go to her manufacturer to request for it. So you may read all the relationship books you want but you’d be wasting your time if you don’t read the one made for her specifically. Are you wondering where to find this manufacturer and his manual? It’s simple. Just ask him in prayer. He’s your maker too and he has all the answers you need.

Someone please tell the guys that church is not for ladies alone
It’s funny that most churches have a greater population of female than males. Was the gospel written by females or was it intended only for the ladies? Why then do ladies flood churches while men stay away from church on Sundays? I know the ladies are more emotional and more in need of the succour they find in church but guys you need it too. All those answers you’ve been searching for, the help and guidance you need can be found in God too. Instead of turning to the bottle each time you meet challenges why not go to church and find peace?

Someone please tell the guys that an overblown ego is not attractive
That thing called ego…hmm na serious something oh! The way that ego thing seems to rule some guys is really something that calls for concern. It’s often all about the ego. Just because she made a suggestion, suddenly you don’t agree with her because it’s going to seem like she’s giving you instructions. Unfortunately for the guys, wise women have learnt to pitch their ideas in a way that makes it seem like it’s coming from him so he doesn’t even know he’s being manipulated. Must she do everything you want her to do without questioning your authority? And I ask, is this ego not akin to pride? Is it doing you any good and is it one of the fruits of the spirit you should exhibit as a Christian? Sometimes you need to set your ego aside when it comes to ladies.

Someone please tell the guys that love is not weakness
Guys please oh falling in love is not a sign of weakness. I understand your need to be strong and in charge but this thing called love especially that one between man and woman (only God knows what mystery he made it to be – Prov 30:19 ) is for a good purpose so embrace it. Tell her you love her as often as possible and don’t be afraid to express your love the best way you can.

Someone please tell the guys that some things get old with age

I know they say age is a thing of the mind but please it is also a physical thing! I don’t see why a man in his late thirties should still think it’s cool to wear low-waist jeans (sagging) and ear rings on his ears except he’s a music artist or it’s necessary for his profession. You still think it’s okay to play your video games and you wonder she doesn’t take you seriously sometimes. Abegi, guys help us now! A guy needs to act his age and show maturity if he wants a woman’s respect…period.

Someone please tell the guys that hygiene is not for the ladies alone
Okay guys please no vex but someone’s got to say it. Hygiene is not for the ladies only, please. Toothbrushes and soaps were made for guys too. It’s not okay for you to just wear the same shirt you wore for three days straight and zoom into the day. Please use soap and water as often as possible and also brush properly too. Dentists say proper washing of the teeth should take at least two minutes so please stop rushing it. You can help us out by smelling nice every now and then. Thank God someone was smart enough to make deodorants for men too. So please buy and use them. And for the ladies, please I know you’re a natural receiver but it won’t hurt to spend a bit of your money to buy some for him too.

Woah! I know it’s been a long read but I hope you found it interesting. Is it exhaustive? No! So if you have something you wish someone would tell the guys that I missed out then please share with us. Maybe there might even be a volume two…lol.