To be a side chic II

Couple walking together

He seemed like an interesting person and Tomi who was enjoying the wisps of his nice perfume was not ashamed to admit to herself that she hoped he would ask her out….


 If you missed the beginning of To be a Side Chic then please click here to read.

Tomi stole a glance at him again and caught him watching her. She smiled shyly, revealing her cute dimples.

‘You must not do that again. I’m absolutely crazy about dimples.’ He said. He had a deep well modulated voice and Tomi liked it instantly. She realized that she didn’t even know the name of the man she was walking with.

‘I’m, Tomi,’ she said.

‘Oh, forgive my manners,’ he said, ‘I’m Mak.’

‘Mark…interesting. You don’t look like someone called Mark.’

He laughed, ‘Wait till you hear the full name. It’s not that interesting. It’s actually Makanna but when I got into high School and started becoming a cool guy I had to shorten it to Mak and allow people to assume its Mark. What’s the full meaning of your own name?’

‘You don’t wanna know,’ Tomi was already laughing. ‘I thought my parents were the only ones that gave us ridiculous long names. My full name is Somtomachi. Luckily my parents were smart enough to call me Tomi as a kid and the name stuck since then.’

Tomi felt a bit self conscious when she realized that Mak was gazing at her. ‘Wow, I’ve never heard anyone laugh like you. I like the sound of your laughter.’

Tomi smiled at him, feeling a little flutter in her chest. A number of people had told her that they liked the sound of her laughter but she never took them seriously.

They were approaching the departure gate. ‘So you live in Lagos?’ He asked.

‘No, I’m here to visit my brother and his wife. They just had a baby. I live in Port Harcourt. What about you?’

‘Well, I don’t live in Lagos. I live in Port Harcourt too,’ Mak said. ‘I’m on my way to Germany for training. I’m supposed to meet two of my colleagues from our Lagos office and we’ll leave together tomorrow morning.’

Tomi had to restrain herself from saying ‘wow’ and making a fool of herself. She had noticed earlier that there was something about him that gave one the impression that he wasn’t worried about his next meal…make that his next wheels. Tomi giggled silently at her thoughts.

‘So where do you work?’ She asked him.

‘I’m an engineer. I work with Halliburton.’ Mak said, waving off the cab driver that was pleading with him to join his cab. So what about you, what do you do?’

Tomi tapped her head nervously. She felt a little bit inadequate talking with this young accomplished Halliburton engineer. ‘I just finished my youth service. I studied banking and finance.’

‘Banking…so automatically you’re going to be a banker? Which bank do you want to work with?’

‘I like Gtbank,’ Tomi said.

‘Okay, it’s a nice bank. I have a couple of friends in Gtb.’ Mak said. ‘How do you intend to get to your brother’s place? Do you know your way around?’

‘I have no idea how to get there. I was supposed to call my brother, Obioha once I got to Lagos so he’d come and pick me. I didn’t even tell him I was coming today. I wanted to surprise him,’ Tomi said. ‘Let me call him and tell him I’m in Lagos now,’ Tomi pulled out her phone from her jeans pocket and started dialing her brother’s number.

She was surprised when Mak clamped his palm over hers. ‘I was thinking that since I’m not doing anything till tomorrow morning and your brother doesn’t know you’re in Lagos yet, we could hang out for a while before you go to his place. What do you think?’ Mak asked.

Tomi pretended to be thinking for a while. She was actually thrilled. ‘Sounds interesting,’ she said.

Mak smile widely, ‘How do you feel about firsts?’

To be continued…


Watch out for the concluding part of To be a Side Chic… ‘You don’t rush a delicious meal!’

It’s a girl thing


When she’s sad she cries and when she’s happy she cries too. One minute the tears of hurt are running down her cheeks and the next she’s shedding tears of joy. You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’

She tells you she’s absolutely crazy about a pair of shoes she just bought. They’re very high and look pretty dangerous no matter how beautiful they are. You’re thinking, “Isn’t it crazy to wear those heels?” but she’s thinking of being the center of attention in them. You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’

She tries on the first dress and takes it off saying it’s not beautiful enough. She tries on the second one and says it’s too loose on her. She wears the third and says she can’t breathe in that. After trying on the fifth option she decides to wear the first. You’re sitting in the car for over 30 minutes, honking impatiently cos you don’t want to be late for the engagement party you’re attending together. You wonder why she couldn’t have made up her mind 30 minutes ago. You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’

When you go out together, you meet someone she says was one of her best friends. They scream and hug each other like girls who haven’t seen each other in decades. Later on she tells you that she can’t stand her friend and gives you reasons why hates her friend more than the devil. “How come you’re friends with her then?” you ask. She just rolls her eyes at you and says ‘because….’ You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’

She’s pouting and looking really mad at you when you see her. You ask her what is wrong with her. She tells you she’s fine and you’re not to worry about her. You take a deep breath and relax, thanking God that she wasn’t upset with you for forgetting her birthday. Later that day she accuses you of not loving her anymore. You apologize and wonder why she said there was no problem earlier.  You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’

She tells you that she always wants you to be completely honest with her and she always wants you to tell her the truth no matter what. When she asks you if she’s the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen. You tell her she’s not and she becomes angry with you.  You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’


The approval syndrome

approval syndrome

There is a very popular syndrome that most ladies suffer from. It doesn’t have the regular symptoms that can be treated with a couple of pills taken at specific times of the day. It doesn’t come up at certain periods in a month and go down unless it has been completely satisfied. You cannot wish it away or bully yourself into looking past its existence. It can sometimes raise your temperature so high that even the world’s strongest thermometer would hesitate to detect it. I am talking about something that is often overlooked but always rears its head up in the lives of most ladies. It’s called the approval syndrome.

It happens to even the best of us, especially when we are overly concerned about the way people view us. We see it in most areas of our lives. Every lady wants to be the best looking lady in the room. Even the shyest girl still feels special when she’s got eyes on her. Somehow it makes her feel like she’s very attractive and special. Well, that’s for the times when you actually look good. The approval syndrome doesn’t seem like a very harmful one when you are being appreciated by people you come across. When however, you enter a gathering and find that your dress appears to be the least expensive or the dullest, I can only imagine what your mood will be throughout that day. Some girls have been known to enter bouts of depression just because she’s the least attractive in a gathering.

Just think about the last time you dressed up just before leaving your house, perhaps it was just this morning. What were the thoughts that centered on your mind before you chose the outfit you eventually wore? If I am to make a guess I’ll say you were probably thinking of wearing something that would give people a good impression about you, or you dressed for the role that you want to fit into (maybe you wore a formal dress because you need people to see you as a serious working-class lady) or you wore something comfortable for the activities you planned to engage in that day (you wouldn’t want to be caught dead wearing an evening gown to ‘daytime’ lectures). There’s an appropriate code in every civilized society and everyone suffering from the approval syndrome needs those pills to feel normal.

We all have a little bit of the approval syndrome manifesting in us. I realized that for very simple things like the dress I wear, I would only feel happy about myself if I felt that other people approved of it. A friend of mine once said that if she lives through a day without anyone telling her she looks beautiful then she would feel very bad throughout that day. Now that’s a bit extreme and it would be a very silly reason to feel good about yourself.

Why would we need someone to approve us? It is like saying someone holds the key to your happiness. How difficult can it be to just sign the approval yourself? It is still your life right? I’ve realized that sometimes we lock ourselves in the prison of our own making and hand over the keys to persons that don’t matter. Now I’m not trying to say that we should not listen to other people’s contributions to our lives or their opinions regarding us. On the contrary, it is quite normal to adhere to the regular codes of society. Don’t leave your house wearing only your birthday suit except of course you are in the early stages of ‘man in the state of nature’…lol…that’s my way of saying ‘early stages of madness. Those codes are there for a reason. The only difference is that you shouldn’t let the opinions of other people who you may not even know control your happiness. Are you still constantly battling with people’s approval before you take a decision? Do you give up on things just because someone does not approve? Have you let go of ideas for lack of approval from people? This may be your chance to seek God’s approval and once you have it then take the wheels and find what you want yourself.


Gospel Hustlers


It’s not something you’ve never heard about before. It’s not something new. It’s on our streets every day, our churches and even on our doorsteps. You know them naa, the ones that have degrees in hustling, the ones that have turned ‘all things are possible’ into reality. You don’t even want to try them cos they’ll school you in the hustling game and yes, they’ve found their game in the churches. It’s really painful that something that means so much to us has turned into a simple avenue for wealth creation. I mean, you don’t need a certain level of education, intelligence or training to become a gospel hustler. All you need is to be smart. In fact, the smarter you are, the more successful you’ll be at it. It comes in all levels and all classes of human existence. We have the hustlers at the grassroots level and we have the big time hustlers that take their hustle to the high and mighty in the society. It’s not even age or gender selective either. They’ve got all the words they need to pry your money out of your hands.

Let me introduce you to this new business. It’s called Gospel Hustling. While we’re thinking about avenues for wealth creation, these hustlers have discovered the safest and easiest way to wealth. All this business requires are; minimal capital, a little bit of flair for guile and persuasion, some marketing ability, some good suits (for those whose hustle are at the higher level) and a couple of easy-to-fool people. All they need is to come up with some buzz words and tang lines and you willingly give them all your hard earned money.

I met one of the gospel hustlers not too long ago. I was on a bus when this young lady, well dressed and well spoken, walked up to the bus and greeted us “good morning.” She said she was sent by the Management of the bus company and she would like to say a word of prayer for the travelers before they embarked on the journey. She gave a short message about salvation (it sounded like she was repeating something she had heard her pastor say often enough) in a surprisingly well modulated voice. Everybody responded positively. I was pretty impressed cos that was my first time of listening to a young lady like that preach on a bus (except me of course) and she was doing it quite well. As soon as she echoed amen then the hustle began. She passed a piece of paper to selected persons in the bus, myself inclusive. As she did so, she said to us that it was just for recharge cards of N100 or N200, nothing less than that. I didn’t understand what she meant. I thought she was probably putting up the airtime for sale. Curious, I opened the paper she had passed to me and I saw what was on it….

gospel hustle

You can imagine my disgust and distaste at that act. In those few moments, in my mind, it had simply watered down the effect of her message. I returned her paper to her, empty. It wasn’t quite long after that most of us in the bus were asked to move over to another bus due to some issues with logistics. Within a few moments, the same girl arrived with the same message and the same papers. That was when I realized it was truly her hustle.

When will people stop seeing the gospel as a means for creating wealth? Were my eyes bad or did I actually see a portion of the bible that said, “Freely have you received, freely give also?” (Matt 10:8). I cannot remember any of the apostles who was concerned about the tithes and offerings of the members of the church, rather I remember reading about the love and communal way of life of members of the early church. It’s really disheartening and embarrassing to say the least, when I see the greed among people in the church. The church leaders are not even left out as they acquire more properties than their generations can handle with the wealth they obtain from their members. What blame is there for people who now believe that salvation can be bought or those who no longer see any value in the message? What worries me most is the message they are passing to non-Christians and I really wonder how or when it will stop. All I can say for now is, please let us as much as we can give the message, simply and freely. Our rewards are in heaven and in the blessings God channels to us in return.


Thanks for the Six Awards

Thank you Tami, for nominating me for these awards. It was a real pleasure to check out my blog this morning and find that lovely comment on my page notifying me of my nomination. Thanks to all my faithful readers e-mail followers and followers on the wordpress community. I truly appreciate your likes, comments, reblogs and all. It’s a really beautiful thing to know somebody appreciates your work. Many thanks and may God fulfill all the works of your hands.

Here are the six awards.

wonderful-team-membership-award versatile blog award super-sweet-blogging-award21w6451 seed-of-light-award1 one-lovely-blog1 abc award

I’m really honoured to be considered fit for these awards by LBH. She’s a very gifted writer. What I love most about her blog is the calming effect it has on me whenever I read her posts. Evidently, they come from one who truly learns at the feet of Jesus. Please check out her blog over at Be sure to stop by and read her work.

The rules for accepting these awards are to state seven things about yourself and then pass the awards on by nominating 15 other blogs. Let them know they’ve been nominated!

Ok…. Seven things about myself:

  1. I absolutely love God, Jesus is my best friend and I depend on the Holy Spirit for his guidance in everything I do.
  2. I love to snore while sleeping…though it doesn’t happen always but that’s the best sleep anyone can get, I think. Did I just see someone scrunch up her nose?
  3. Everyone thinks I love to wear heels cos I’m always on heels but I really prefer to walk about in flats.
  4. I’m big on romantic movies and I always cry at the end.
  5. I love me-times a lot. Can you believe I used to be so excited whenever it was time to go to bed?
  6. Love is a very biiiiiiiigggg word to me….I don’t say it easily and I don’t take it lightly (go figure…lol)
  7. I like to gaze at fashion magazines and imagine I’m the one in those couture dresses and shoes.

Now these are my nominations, in no particular order: (I can’t nominate someone who nominated me, right?)

  1. Obiamaka Onyebum –
  2. Eziaha
  3. JMAD –
  4. Todaysistas
  5. Snufflylovely –
  6. Giantsparkle
  7. Steve Rebus –
  8. Adaobim –
  9. Pastor Mildred –
  10. Ladyromp

Be sure to check them all out. They’re really cool!

Femmetotale is one already!!


Wow, how time flies when you do what you really love to do. Remember how annoying it gets when someone wants to share something exciting with you and just goes like, ‘I don’t know where to start’ and you smile sheepishly at her, mentally restraining yourself from saying, ‘Start from the beginning or middle or wherever, just get the story over with!” I’m kindda hoping you’ll be patient with me and not say that cos for me, it’s a nostalgic moment.

So, I’m gonna start this way…It all started like a seed. You know that tiny thought that just pops at you and keeps nagging at you until you give it more room to expand in your mind and you feel that flicker of hope that it may be something afterall. One minute it’s there and the next different scenarios start playing in your mind, telling you not to bother that it won’t work and you’d just have wasted a monumental effort on nothing. I call it a seed cos like Jesus’s parable about the sower, Femmetotale started in my mind years before I even dared to put it in the soil. I’d been writing for donkey years but never tried publishing anything. That voice always said, why bother?

I finally decided to take the leap of faith and put my thoughts on paper (or should I say, log them on the web?). I had all those familiar voices (especially those on my mind) telling me it was not going to work again. Oh yes, the ‘again’ wasn’t an error. It may come as a surprise to you but I really did try my hands at blogging twice and they both failed monumentally (yea, that’s my new fave word *sheepish smile*). I read about blogging 10 years ago but I just didn’t know how and it wasn’t really this popular back then. Luckily, a couple of years back, I met a friend who gave me some pointers on blogging and helped me sign up with So I started my first blog, springs of dawn on which I posted random short stories I had written. After some months (I don’t remember how many now) I got no comment and no followers. Same friend in his IT guru wisdom, said to me, ‘you have 100% bounce rate, don’t even bother continuing.’ My new blog-best-friend, LBH called this a Saul on her post – Saul breathes down your neck and I agree with her monumentally…lol. I hated to fail at anything so I just gave up and stopped posting or checking it out.

A year later, I got that same nudge to do this cos I remember how fulfilled I used to get whenever I posted something on my blog. So that tiny flicker of hope came again and I decided to start another blog. I discovered wordpress by mistake and really just fell in love with it.  I started another blog – aliciaspeaks which no longer exists today cos it’s been abandoned. Yep, I failed again. Weeks after, there was no viewer, no like and no follower. I was bent on getting it right so I decided to try again. This time I did some research myself and learned the basics, using good templates, publicizing, choosing a theme, etc.

On this day, one year ago, I decided to dig up ‘Femmetotale,’ the project I had designed in my mind years ago. The very first post I made on Femmetotale – ‘And you think your problem is the worst‘ got me two likes and three followers. I was encouraged to put up more posts. On and on it went until today, a good number of people are being blessed by my little efforts and the community is growing. Can I just stop at this point and say, thank you for reading this? You make my day! My special thanks goes to Eziaha, my blog choco who prodded me to put up new posts whenever I started procrastinating, Giantsparkle, Snufflylovely and my newest blog choco, Lessons By Heart, and my highest commenter, neniegirl. Many kisses to you all! To everyone reading Femmetotale and all those following and commenting on my blog, you guys are amazing.

The project is still growing and the vision is taking shape.  Just like the little seed placed in the soil, there’s no telling how big a tree it might become. To everyone who has ever got that tiny seed called an idea in her mind, all you need do, is keep watering, keep trying and keep waiting patiently. The seed will surely become a tree and I do hope this tree will be like the tree in Matt 13:31-32 which all the birds of the air can lodge in its branches.

Keep being the Femmetotale…


My best friend


My blog-choco (and please don’t ask me what that means) did this exciting post /game on her blog and it’s really fun. I’ve been meaning to get to it but when I saw it on another amazing blogger’s blog , I realised that the time has come for me to finally get to it. So here we go.

It’s quite simple. Basically, you put your music player to shuffle and there are about 25 pre-set questions you have to answer with whatever tune comes up. It’s fun.

At first, I thought, this is crazy! There’s no way my songs are going to give meaningful answers to these questions but by the time I started I was almost rolling on the floor, laughing at how it all seemed to coincide almost perfectly with the questions. Still don’t believe me? Okay, check it out!

1. If someone says ‘is this OK?’ You say?
Halleluyah by Lara George featuring midnight crew…..Ok, I know this may not exactly tally with the question but I imagine answering every question with a heavenly language like halleluyah. Hmm… Amen to that!

2. What would best describe your personality?
Sinner’s prayer by Deitrick Haddon….Well, I acknowledge that I could have been dead but God gave me the gift of salvation.

3. What do you like in a guy?
You are God by Deitrick Haddon ……I could give you like a whole book filled with qualities I’d love but any guy who can always lift up his hands and say, ‘You are God!’ he’s got my heart cos if he’s submitted to God then he’ll have no difficulty loving me – Eph 5.

4. How do you feel today?
The great adventure by Steven Curtis Chapman ….. It’s an old song but I love the idea of going on an adventure with Jesus. I can just imagine saddling up my horse, not knowing how to ride or where we’re headed but trusting him to lead me. I feel like going on an adventure today.

5. What’s your life’s purpose?
You, I’ve gotta praise by Deitrick Haddon….Yea, my sole desire is to live a life that will draw men to praise the father.

6. What is your motto?
Power of your love by Darlene Zschech….I am who I am by the power of His love

7. What do your friends think of you?
Imagine me by Kirk Franklin … I was gonna skip this but I remembered that I have to be honest with my answers so I guess my friends think of me as…um…someone with a great big imagination. Shhh I know that’s not what the song says but…poetic license…lol

8. What do you think about very often?
While I’m waiting by John Waller…I first heard this song on the movie ‘Fireproof’ and I remember thinking, ‘what an awesome song!’ I think about waiting patiently for God’s promises to be fulfilled in my life and I know that they that wait upon the Lord shall mount up with wings as eagles. Watch out folks, I’ll soon take off in flight and soar with the eagles.

9. What do you think of your best friend?
Ko le baje by Lara George…I loved the song but didn’t know what it meant and when I found out the meaning I was excited cos, that’s just my best friend. She’s the happy-go-lucky, all-will-be-well type. Her attitude is so infectious, you can’t help loving her.

10. What do you think of the person you love?
How great is our God by Darlene…that just about sums it up. I love God and I think he’s awesomely awesome.

11. What is your life story?
I adore – Hillsong. I look back over my life and all I can say, is Lord, I adore you cos I know it’s all because of you! Thank you, Jesus.

12. What do you want to be when you grow up?
How great you are by Victor Olayeni…I want to be someone who people see and say, How great you are, Lord, Odigi onye di ka gi!

13. What do your parents think of you?
Wait a minute by Zoe Chinaka… parents think I’m very patient but they may not know that I ask Him to teach me to wait cos really I lose my cool a lot and I’m tempted to shout sometimes.

14. Wedding dance song?
Free by Kierra Sheard…I love this song so much. It says that where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom so I’m free in my mind, in my heart and if I’m his, then I’m free.

15. What do you think when you see the person you love?
He’s able by Deitrick Haddon…hmm…well, since I’m not in any relationship right now I’m going to leave this answer at that (and this is not an open invitation, please) ***smiling through my teeth**

16. Funeral song?
Stand still by Deitrick Haddon….I guess I’ll be telling mourners that they need to stand still and know that He is God.

17. Hobby?
Lion and the Lamb by Crystal Lewis….In addition to blogging I also love writing songs that praise God. Does that apply? You judge.

18. Biggest secret?
Bless the Lord son of man by Tye Tribett…this is no secret I guess.

19. What do you think of your friends?
Let it go ‘Shout’ by Kirk Franklin…..when they keep complaining about stuff I just feel like saying, ‘Let it go’

20. Worst thing that could happen?
Chibuzo get up by Lara George….I think the worst thing that could happen is failing and refusing to get back up and try again.

21. Does anyone like you?
Flower in the rain by Jaci Velasquez…I like to see myself as a flower in the rain, open and willing to reach for my saviour, getting my nourishment and sustenance from Him. Who wouldn’t love me for that? **cheeky smile**

22. What makes you laugh?
Mighty God by Deitrick Haddon….He makes me laugh and I mean it literarily.

23. Go back in time, what would you change?
It all belongs to you by Damita Haddon….all of me belongs to him so I just have to accept it all and refuse the temptation to change anything . All I can say is Lord change whatever does not please you cos you’re the potter and I’m the clay.

24. Why will you get married?
You raise me up by Josh Groban.…I will love to marry someone who will help to raise me up spiritually and otherwise.

25. What would you name this post?
My best friend by Hillsong with Darlene Zschech.…I have a small confession to make. I had to skip to the very last song to get this one cos I didn’t want to use the title of the next song on my playlist to do this post. I do love this song this much and I can tell you that Jesus is my best friend and nothing will ever change that. He’s the one that has my best interest at heart all the time, loves me unconditionally and is always there for me.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this as much as I did.

Have a fun-filled day and a lovely weekend…