My Proverbs 32 Man, Joseph

Man adjusting cuff link

Ok, before you read this, you must promise not to drool over Joseph and please don’t even think about getting him for yourself. Now that you’ve promised, you may read this post 😀 Enjoy!

Last year, I saw this amazing post on One+The One’s blog and I couldn’t help but reblog it on femmetotale. It was about the Proverbs 32 man, aka the virtuous dude. Now, you must know that it is quite unusual to hear about the virtuous man. All we hear day in, year out is about that perfect woman called the virtuous woman. Nobody thought it was important enough to give men a manual on what a virtuous man should be like unlike the very detailed writing of King Lemuel’s mother who told him about the virtuous woman. My girl did a very humourous and insightful piece on her blog, telling us what the virtuous man should be like. Guys, I hope it wasn’t too impossible to emulate.

I read this amazing post on Dr. N’s blog about how to choose a husband. Isn’t it just exciting to hear what a lady who leads her life based on godly principles has to say about choosing a husband? You have to check out what she has to say yourself. Just Click here to read or follow the link, The part that really struck me at first was where she described what a husband is. In her own words, “Who is a husband? A husband is a gardener. He spends his life tending his garden (you), and reaps at harvest time.” Hmmm…. rich! Then next, she described what she looked out for in her man and the one that stood out most for me was Love for the Lord. She said, “I needed a man so passionate about Jesus that it showed. One who loves going to church, sowing, praying and so on. He should be the priest of the home. I had no intention of being the one dragging him to church, praying over the kids, e.t.c. Single and available lady (not searching please… you should be sought for) lady, please take note of these great qualities too.

So, according to the Catholic calendar, the Saint of the day is Joseph, the father of Jesus and I believe he is one virtuous man every man in our generation should model his life after. He was definitely a man whose passion for the things of God showed and he was the Priest of his home. I love the fact that even when he thought that Mary had become pregnant by being unfaithful to him, he showed maturity by deciding to send her away discretely so as not to shame her. That’s what true love does. Love does not act out in anger. How many men today would treat suspicions of unfaithfulness in that manner? Also, he needed to be able to hear from God and be sensitive in the spirit to recognize that it was the voice of God when the Angel appeared to him and told him to take Mary as his wife because she was carrying the saviour of the world in her womb. His singular act of obedience was enough to ensure that the plans of salvation which God had made would work. We don’t need men who will be so intoxicated with alcohol that their spiritual ears will remain deaf to the voice of God.

Joseph was a regular man like any other. He didn’t have extraordinary strength of character. He was only made extra-ordinary by his obedience to the voice of God. So you see, the virtuous man is not a figment of our imaginations. He did exist and still does exist.


PS: Sorry I couldn’t post the next edition of To Fan An Old Flame today. Please watch out for it tomorrow!

To be a Side Chic (Finale)

Couple walking together

Have you been following Tomi’s story on To be a Side Chic? If so, then this is the final part you have been waiting for. Please follow this link to read the end of the story You can also click the image of the book cover on the side bar to download the ebook. Cheers!

It’s a girl thing


When she’s sad she cries and when she’s happy she cries too. One minute the tears of hurt are running down her cheeks and the next she’s shedding tears of joy. You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’

She tells you she’s absolutely crazy about a pair of shoes she just bought. They’re very high and look pretty dangerous no matter how beautiful they are. You’re thinking, “Isn’t it crazy to wear those heels?” but she’s thinking of being the center of attention in them. You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’

She tries on the first dress and takes it off saying it’s not beautiful enough. She tries on the second one and says it’s too loose on her. She wears the third and says she can’t breathe in that. After trying on the fifth option she decides to wear the first. You’re sitting in the car for over 30 minutes, honking impatiently cos you don’t want to be late for the engagement party you’re attending together. You wonder why she couldn’t have made up her mind 30 minutes ago. You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’

When you go out together, you meet someone she says was one of her best friends. They scream and hug each other like girls who haven’t seen each other in decades. Later on she tells you that she can’t stand her friend and gives you reasons why hates her friend more than the devil. “How come you’re friends with her then?” you ask. She just rolls her eyes at you and says ‘because….’ You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’

She’s pouting and looking really mad at you when you see her. You ask her what is wrong with her. She tells you she’s fine and you’re not to worry about her. You take a deep breath and relax, thanking God that she wasn’t upset with you for forgetting her birthday. Later that day she accuses you of not loving her anymore. You apologize and wonder why she said there was no problem earlier.  You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’

She tells you that she always wants you to be completely honest with her and she always wants you to tell her the truth no matter what. When she asks you if she’s the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen. You tell her she’s not and she becomes angry with you.  You say it’s a bit confusing but we say, ‘don’t worry, it’s a girl thing.’


My Proverbs 32 Man… aka The Virtuous Dude!


I came across this hilarious-slash-true-as-ever piece and I thought I should share it. I would have reblogged it but I couldn’t find what app to use so I decided it copy it and share the link here – The words in brackets and italics are mine. Enjoy!

We have all heard about the famous Proverbs 31 woman. You know the one that many men want their wives to be modeled after and many mothers want their sons to marry (ask King Lemuel’s mother!). If you still don’t know about this legendary woman I am referring to, then you need to read the book of Proverbs, chapter 31 from verse 10- till the end…22 whole verses dedicated to identifying the ideal wife. (Point to note ladies, it’s quite a high call and only by divine unction can you fit the bill 🙂 Not surprisingly the rather long list of achievements was wisely given to King Lemuel by his beloved mother (thank God for mothers-in-law right?). I can almost imagine that he either was the only son, the first son or the last son.

I have always wondered though that King Lemuel had the good fortune of having a mother who could let him in on the secret of finding a virtuous wife, but how about the ‘virtuous’ husband?

So  a few years back, we did a survey with about 15 lovely Christian ladies and asked them what qualities they looked out for in a man to make up what we term our ‘PROVERBS 32 MAN’.. I am taking a step further to write it down and make it plain on tablets. Guys you definitely want to read this and run with it. Enjoy!

‘Qualities of the PROVERBS 32’ Man

 V.1 Who can find a virtuous husband? For his worth is far above precious stones.

V.2 He must be a man as GENEROUS as David – David was a man who GAVE! When it was time to build the Lord’s temple, he was prepared to give his all and his best. In addition, he was a cheerful giver and gave without complaining or grumbling. He must be willing to show his love to me and others by giving with a generous heart – 1Chronicles 22 – emphasis on v5 – (Seems that thing about giving needs a whole sermon of its own preached)

 V.3 He must be as UNDERSTANDING as Joseph the father of Jesus – He was a man who understood his betrothed, Mary and believed her when she said to him that she became pregnant by the holy spirit –Matthew 1:18-25 (Now, this part really got me…how many men in their right senses will believe that cock and bull story these days. You got preggie outside wedlock and now you’re claiming that it happened by divine visitation…hmm. That Joseph must have been a real man!)

V.4 He must be as TRUTHFUL as Samuel – Imagine getting a word from the Lord that your master and his sons would perish and being able to say it exactly as it is to him, word for word not minding the consequence, that was Samuel! – 1 Samuel 3: 16 – 18 (That’s bold and truthful indeed!)

 V.5 He must be as LOVING as Hosea – Hosea loved his wife and took her back even though she repeatedly committed adultery with other men! He obeyed God’s instruction to love her irrespective of what she had done – Hosea 3:1-3 (Do we even have anyone called Hosea in existence now? No man wants to even imagine the thought of his wife cheating on him with another man not to talk of a prostitute).

V.6 He must be as FAITHFUL as Joseph was to Potiphar – Joseph refused to sleep with his master Potiphar’s wife. He should be able to remain faithful to me even when ‘opportunities’ willingly present themselves as they so often do! – Genesis 39 (A faithful man who can find? For his worth is far above gold!)

 V.7 He must be as HANDSOME as David – David was a ‘swaggerlicious’ dude, end of story – 1 Samuel 16:12 (I liked the word, swaggerlicious…when are they even going to add that to the English dictionary. Anyway, David was all that and he still loved God that much. So why do some guys seem to think that having swag means you can’t be a church boy?)

 V.8 He must be WELL SPOKEN like Paul – Paul is credited with writing many of the letters in the New Testament, the brother had a way with words. He must be able to speak to me in ‘secret’ love languages – Galatians 2:20, Romans 7:15 – Some examples of his many colloquy (That man really had a way with words. He was an orator, well versed, learned, and a master of language. I’d be proud to have me man speak with such eloquence like Paul).

V.9 He must be as STRONG as Samson – Samson was so strong, he killed a thousand men with the jawbone of an ass! He must be able to lift up and carry and move and push etc – Judges 15:15 (Now, I’ve got to put a lil brake on that one…strong yes but if the images I’ve seen of Samson in illustrated children’s bible are anything to go buy then I’ll have to say, ‘maybe not all that strong…’ He should not be a willy ninny though)

 V.10 – He must be as RESPECTFUL as Abraham – When Abraham had 3 guests, he treated them with respect and care, it turned out to be that they were angels! He should be able to recognize the angel and the gift of God that I am and treat me as such and with R.E.S.P.E.C.T! -Genesis 18: 1-8 (I totally agree. Being bold doesn’t mean he should be haughty)

 V.11 – He must be a GOOD LISTENER like Samuel – Samuel was such a good listener, he was able to hear the still small voice of the Lord. He must be able to listen to the things that I am saying and not quite saying -1 Samuel 3 (Yea, I’d love that also so that  I can comfortably sleep at night, knowing that his spiritual antenna is up…lol)

V.12 – He must be a PROVIDER like Jacob – Jacob worked 14 (!) years for the woman he loved and wanted to marry. A hardworking man is able to provide for his family – Genesis 29:15-30 (Wow, 14 years just to get one woman…guys that should tell you something. I also get that he must have loved her too much to give up).

 V.13 – He must be as SUCCESSFUL as Isaac – Isaac was a great man indeed and he continued to wax great until he became very great – Genesis 26:13 (Great but she forgot to add *wealthy*. Now, I know we’re not supposed to attach so much importance to wealth in relationships but I couldn’t help noticing that although he inherited his father’s wealth, he also multiplied this wealth. That shows that he was a man with vision).

V.14 – He must be a PHILANTROPIST like David – 1 Chronicles 22 (I’d be proud to say that he’s a man who’s concerned about the less privileged).

V.15 – He must be the SPIRITUAL LEADER in the home like Joshua – Joshua 24:15 (Oooh that guy was really a spiritual leader. He made sure his leadership was always centered on God’s will).

V.16 – He must have ABS like Samson – A man who worked his muscles like Samson did, must have his 6-packs in check! If you don’t know what abs are, you can ask King Lemuel’s kind mother – Judges 16:12 (Hehehehehehe…I don’t know what to say here. Abs are great but if he can’t make it I think we can forgive that…lol)

V.17 – He must be as INTELLIGENT as Paul – Just take a look at the books of Romans, Ephesians, Galatians, Colossians, etc! The man was gifted like that!!

 V.18 – He must be as ROMANTIC as Solomon – He must have had some dangerous lyrics to spin for about a 1000 women! A man who waxes poetry for his beloved??! Definitely a keeper! -SOS 4:1-5 (Wow…talk about love poems, that dude called Solomon knew how to dish them out and he wasn’t stingy with compliments either. A man who can spin rhymes like that for me is definitely a keeper.)

 V.19 – He must have a GOOD SENSE OF HUMOUR like David – A King who is willing to dance so uninhibited in front of his subjects must also have a good sense of humour – 2Samuel 6: 16, 20 (I love to laugh…it’s good for the soul so he should be able to make me kick the air, wild with laughter).

V.20 – He must be CALM and COOL-HEADED like Moses – Any man who could lead those stiff-necked Israelites without drowning them himself in the red sea by striking the rod quickly must be something indeed. He must be able to withstand my (occasional) nagging without wringing my neck – Numbers 12:3 (I totally agree. Moses really is one of my favourites from the bible. He was humble to a fault and he was one of the greatest leaders in the bible, so great he was singled out to be one of those that witnessed Christ at the Mountain of transfiguration centuries after his death).

V.21 –He must be an APPRECIATOR and ENCOURAGER like Hosea – For Hosea to take his wife back and love her, he must have said kind words to her irrespective of the life of harlotry she was living, Hosea was also prepared to pay a high price for her even though she was seen as cheap and unworthy. He must be able to praise me and affirm me even when I don’t deserve it. In addition he must think (and show) that I’m all that and a bag of chips – Hosea 3:2 (I love that man, Hosea! He didn’t even care what people would say about him bringing back his wife into his home, a known harlot…)

V.22 – He must be as PURPOSEFUL as Daniel – When Daniel made up his mind, there was no shaking him. He must be able to stand by his word and have a purpose about what he wants to achieve and become – Daniel 1:8 (Daniel was a man of great convictions and I like a man that does not change his mind like the weather. Let your yes be your yes and no your no)

V.23 – He must be as COURAGEOUS as the 3 Hebrew boys, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego – They remained undaunted even with the threat of being thrown in the furnace – Daniel 3: 16-18 (A comedian once said that those boys must have been from Niger delta. Who has ever seen such courage?)

 V.24 – He must be as PATIENT as Job – Indulge me, let me get away with certain things, forgive my misdemeanours, love me patiently  – Job 14:14 (Ok, patient yea… but nobody is praying to have the kind of trials Job had. However, I like the aspect of being so faithful to God that he didn’t for once question His sovereignty or doubt his existence).

V.25 – Most importantly though, he must be prepared to love me as Christ loved the Church and laid down his life for itEphesians 5:25 ( Do you love me enough to die for me?).

….*Deep breath*… There you have it ladies and guys (still standing!) If you thought Proverbs 31 was a tall order, try the Proverbs 32 man…Guys can you think of anyone who can fill those shoes??? *smiling through my teeth* Of course not!

PS Though written slightly satirically, I desire a man with such qualities…. call me a hopeless romantic or tell me to pull my head outta the clouds…So help me God.


Culled from

Someone Please Tell the Guys!

Handsome fashion designer using digital tablet

You remember the old post, ‘Someone Please tell the girls,‘ that aimed to pull the girls out of their fairy tale reverie into the world of reality when it comes to relationships? Now here’s a little something for the guys too. Facts is: guys also have their ‘fairy tale’ notions about girls that need to change as well. So guys, sit back, relax and have fun finding out some of the things ladies sometimes want to roll their eyes when u do them.

Someone please tell the guys that she’s not your mother.
I know someone at this point wants to say, of course I know she’s not my mother. Umhmm, no she’s not but why then do you expect her to know how to cook exactly like your mother or treat you exactly the way your mother treats you. I hope you know that you’re not that 5 year old boy whose mom had to go down on her knees and tie his shoe laces before school in the mornings? I know in your eyes, ur mom was perfect. She always had your meals perfectly prepared and right on time. She cooked and cleaned without a complaint, helped you into your school clothes and never failed to pack a lunch box for you but then how won’t she seem perfect when you were looking up at her from the naive eyes of a child? You didn’t see the stress written on her face, or the nights she practically passed out on her bed with her hands almost numb with pain, or did you hear how much she nagged at your dad for not lifting a finger to help her? Did you even watch her cry hysterically that your dad didn’t show her any love and support? So you only saw the perfect side of her and now you expect your wife to be the same. Could you perhaps also be as perfect as her dad was to her too? Please try to have more realistic expectations of her. Your wife will never be like your mom so please don’t expect her to be.

Someone please tell the guys that not all girls are dummies
It’s sad that even in this jet age some people still think that all  girls are dummies. I find it alarming when I hear a guy say, ‘what do you know, you’re just a girl.’ And even more so when it’s a guy who is younger than the girl in question. I know you’re tempted to think that all ladies talk about is fashion and beauty and child rearing. Then a little bit of gossiping here and there. Please give her a little more credit that she’s also a human being that has ideas, goals and aspirations and she definitely has something to offer too. It has not been scientifically proven that women have smaller brains than men. So stop treating her like a child or something of no relevance.
Someone please tell the guys that there’s a manual on ladies
Yes oh, there’s a manual on ladies but it’s not one written by your buddies so you can stop asking them for advice. Remember the phone you just bought? Did you see a small white booklet in it with instructions? I know you didn’t bother to read it, afterall the functions of phones are basically the same so you can use your head knowledge. Ok, good for you but for ladies it doesn’t come that easy. There’s a specific manual for each lady specifically made by her creator. Sorry, it doesn’t come with the package, you actually have to go to her manufacturer to request for it. So you may read all the relationship books you want but you’d be wasting your time if you don’t read the one made for her specifically. Are you wondering where to find this manufacturer and his manual? It’s simple. Just ask him in prayer. He’s your maker too and he has all the answers you need.

Someone please tell the guys that church is not for ladies alone
It’s funny that most churches have a greater population of female than males. Was the gospel written by females or was it intended only for the ladies? Why then do ladies flood churches while men stay away from church on Sundays? I know the ladies are more emotional and more in need of the succour they find in church but guys you need it too. All those answers you’ve been searching for, the help and guidance you need can be found in God too. Instead of turning to the bottle each time you meet challenges why not go to church and find peace?

Someone please tell the guys that an overblown ego is not attractive
That thing called ego…hmm na serious something oh! The way that ego thing seems to rule some guys is really something that calls for concern. It’s often all about the ego. Just because she made a suggestion, suddenly you don’t agree with her because it’s going to seem like she’s giving you instructions. Unfortunately for the guys, wise women have learnt to pitch their ideas in a way that makes it seem like it’s coming from him so he doesn’t even know he’s being manipulated. Must she do everything you want her to do without questioning your authority? And I ask, is this ego not akin to pride? Is it doing you any good and is it one of the fruits of the spirit you should exhibit as a Christian? Sometimes you need to set your ego aside when it comes to ladies.

Someone please tell the guys that love is not weakness
Guys please oh falling in love is not a sign of weakness. I understand your need to be strong and in charge but this thing called love especially that one between man and woman (only God knows what mystery he made it to be – Prov 30:19 ) is for a good purpose so embrace it. Tell her you love her as often as possible and don’t be afraid to express your love the best way you can.

Someone please tell the guys that some things get old with age

I know they say age is a thing of the mind but please it is also a physical thing! I don’t see why a man in his late thirties should still think it’s cool to wear low-waist jeans (sagging) and ear rings on his ears except he’s a music artist or it’s necessary for his profession. You still think it’s okay to play your video games and you wonder she doesn’t take you seriously sometimes. Abegi, guys help us now! A guy needs to act his age and show maturity if he wants a woman’s respect…period.

Someone please tell the guys that hygiene is not for the ladies alone
Okay guys please no vex but someone’s got to say it. Hygiene is not for the ladies only, please. Toothbrushes and soaps were made for guys too. It’s not okay for you to just wear the same shirt you wore for three days straight and zoom into the day. Please use soap and water as often as possible and also brush properly too. Dentists say proper washing of the teeth should take at least two minutes so please stop rushing it. You can help us out by smelling nice every now and then. Thank God someone was smart enough to make deodorants for men too. So please buy and use them. And for the ladies, please I know you’re a natural receiver but it won’t hurt to spend a bit of your money to buy some for him too.

Woah! I know it’s been a long read but I hope you found it interesting. Is it exhaustive? No! So if you have something you wish someone would tell the guys that I missed out then please share with us. Maybe there might even be a volume two…lol.