For Single Ladies: 5 men you must never say yes to!

© Copyright 2015 Corbis Corporation

I feel pretty nostalgic writing this post especially at this time of the year when single ladies everywhere are busy getting their groves on, searching for their Mr. Right. In this part of the world, this festive season everyone knows how common it is for girls to look prettier than KimK herself, wear exotic hairstyles and expensive dresses just to get all the attention and who knows they just might get one moneybag straight from Yankee with enough dough to sponsor a celebrity Introduction/Traditional Wine-carrying ceremony, all before the year comes to an end. I mean, I’m sitting here with a mischievous smile on my face thinking of stuff I’d probably have been doing right now while appearing to be celebrating Christmas and the end of the year along with everyone else. Yeah, I’m out of that stage now and with the benefit of hindsight and of course experience I can easily write stuff like this.

Ok, so you are getting all the attention you craved for when you were fixing your expensive hair but here’s a list of the 5 men you must not say yes to this season.

© Copyright 2012 CorbisCorporation

2. Vain Vincent: This is the type of guy that is basically in love with mirrors. He stops to check out his reflection whenever you pass by a mirror or a glass door. His beard is always neatly groomed, his clothes impeccable, his sunshades designers and on his neck a gold chain. He’s always asking you, “how do I look?” and never pays you a compliment no matter how beautiful you look. It’s almost as if he’s the female in the relationship and he’s not even gay, he’s just vain. If you’re looking for a man to say yes to this season, Vain Vincent is certainly not that guy. You’re probably going to spend the rest of your life telling him how cute he is and not expect him to tell you how cute you are too. Not only that you should also expect that your family budget will project a higher amount for his clothes and accessories than your feeding!

2. Brutish Bamidele: This one is certainly the kind of guy you shouldn’t say yes to unless you are skilled in martial arts and you probably have a black belt. He’s always violent, always has a pack of cigarettes in his car, quarrels with keke drivers on the way, always reeks of alcohol, never concedes an argument no matter how wrong he is, says things like “women talk too much… they deserved to be thrashed to keep them in their place”, calls his mother a whore, verbally abuses his sisters and is so possessive when it comes to you that he’s ready to beat up any guy he sees hanging around you. Of course when he’s with you, he’s generally nice, pays you compliments and treats you like you are the centre of his world. He tells you all other women are sluts and you are so different. He tells you he cannot live without you and buys you beautiful gifts. Once in a while he hits you when he’s angry and tells you it is your fault for getting him angry. Then he buys you gifts and begs you not to leave him or he will surely die. Brutish Bamidele is a brute in every sense of the word and you are not the one to tame him if his mother couldn’t. Stop giving yourself stupid reasons for considering saying yes to him unless you don’t mind sentencing yourself to a lifetime of abuse.

3. Egoistic Emeka: If there is anyone you should avoid saying yes to then it is Egoistic Emeka. He’s the guy that believes everything should revolve around him. He’s only happy when the discussion is about him. He’s not really vain he just has a big ego. He’s very self-centered and doesn’t mind how much he’s going to inconvenience you just to have his needs met. He’s only in a good mood when you praise him, talks about his dreams and achievements without paying a listening ear to yours, becomes angry whenever you receive a commendation or award at work, is extremely competitive and doesn’t mind keeping you awake through the night complaining about his colleague at work who seems to have an edge over him, dominates every conversation with tales of his prowess, remains moody when you get something he desires until you hand it over to him and sulks when he doesn’t get his way. If you are in a relationship with Egoistic Emeka then you should think of calling it quits now before it is too late unless you don’t mind stroking someone’s ego for the rest of your life. Men generally have big egos but when it is such that he is highly insecure then it is very unhealthy and will pose issues for you in the future.

4. Inconsistent Ignatius: This one never holds down a job. He has great dreams and thinks his bosses are all worthless and if he were to see just one million naira he’ll start up his dream business and in no time they will be calling him “Sir”. He always knows how best things should be done, speaks articulately, has dreams of grandeur and talks about how much money he’s going to have soon without ever working hard at anything. He has very bad money habits, keeps borrowing money from you and can even gamble with his last dime. He’s always optimistic about how much he’s going to make from an imaginary deal and yet never achieves anything. His dreams change every now and then. Today he’s so sure he wants to own a computer center and tomorrow he wants to be a footballer. He let’s you pay for everything you do together, cabs, dinners and even recharge cards. Unless you’re ready to be the one to foot all the bills in that relationship and be the breadwinner when you get married you have no business dating a guy like Inconsistent Ignatius.

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5. Slutty Sule: Ok I know the word slutty is normally used to describe lose females but there are some guys that flirt so much that they deserve to be called sluts. Slutty Sule is the typical nice guy. He knows exactly how to please a lady. He buys you gifts, sends romantic text messages, leaves roses at your doorstep, opens the car door for you to enter, pulls out the seat for you when you go out and gives a listening ear when you are speaking. On the face of it, Slutty Sule seems to be the perfect guy but something tells you that you’re not the only woman in his life. One minute he’s telling you how much he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you and the next he’s staring at one yellow paw-paw that struts past him never mind that she may not even be as pretty as you. He’s always carefully guarding his phone, answering calls from different girls and smelling of different feminine perfumes which he claims is nothing. When you see him with a different girl he’ll be quick to tell you that it’s his great grand sister’s niece. Well, unless you’re ready to be fighting with different girls everyday he’s definitely not the man to say yes to.

So ladies while you’re having fun this festive season and making yourself available for Mr. Right to find be yourself, remain steadfast and remember these 5 guys you must never say yes to.

Dare to be yourself…

Femmetotale

 

 

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Beauty and the Bachelorettes

Portrait of four teen female friends smiling

It’s one of the greatest themes in the history of romance. Talk about the fairy tales, village romance and even in the bible you will find this same theme running through most stories. Check every romance story you can find. There’s always one bachelor and several bachelorettes competing for his love. At the end, one lucky damsel gets to be the chosen bride and receives the crown as his princess or queen. It is as though it is commonly accepted that many girls should compete for the love of one man. Hmm…

We definitely accepted it when Esther became part of the biblical beauty contest that saw her being made to undergo all kinds of beauty regimens to prepare her for a night with the King. I remember smiling in excitement as an aunt recounted to me tales about a man who had just returned from the US to find a wife while she was in the village. She, as well as almost all the girls in the village took special care dressing up and decorating themselves after which they took gifts just to present themselves to the family of the man. They would walk briskly to the house only to slow down once in front of the house and walk with slow unhurried steps, hoping to catch a glimpse of him (this part I only heard because I was eavesdropping while she told another aunt about it) and then they would flash him their most pretty smiles as they left.

Did their plans work? Well, it certainly did. There were a select few who were lucky to be invited inside to see him. They were so excited and lost no time in rubbing it in the faces of those that were not selected. So who finally got him? I hear you ask. Well, I do not know who the lucky bachelorette that got him was but I do know that not long after that a story broke out that the handsome ‘prince’ all the girls were gunning for was a man who committed a crime in the US and escaped to Nigeria to hide in the village. Sounds like a Nollywood movie, right? Lol… it really did happen.

I wonder how all those beautiful bachelorettes that wouldn’t give the local men around them any attention must have felt when the story broke out. Were they ashamed to show their faces in public after that or did they go about their normal activities? Why do ladies enjoy going for the obvious ones who they have to compete with everyone else to get and possibly still have to compete to keep for the rest of their lives?

I may not know the recipe for getting a perfect relationship but I do know that if you have to compete for the love of one man then that is a recipe for disaster. The woman should be the prize God rewards a man with. Eve did not have to compete with several other Eves for Adam’s love. They were simply made for each other. If you have to compete for his love now then just get ready to compete for the rest of your life. This is not a fairy tale. Fairy tales always end with happily ever after but in real life there’s no ever after. There’s many years of more competition jumping in every now and then. So I say, lady don’t focus on winning the competition, go where you are the prize to be won.

Have a pleasant weekend

Femmetotale

And you say you’re in love

Young woman embracing man holding beer bottle, smiling

So the Valentine’s Day has finally come to an end. Hmm…who would have thought it would ever end? Lol… at least now media houses are off to find fresh news that have got nothing to do with love or so I think. For now, I know the love bug that had bitten plenty people last week has started migrating to only-God-knows-where to await the next season. As for having fun, I’m pretty sure most people had fun that day. If you didn’t, don’t worry, there will always be another chance.

Still on the love bug and all who have been bitten or smitten (it’s still the month of love so I’m allowed to talk about it as much as I want, right?), I’m really curious about the Valentine’s day stories. Haven’t heard too many but there are the usual. I’ve heard things like “his number was not available all through the day and he claims his battery was flat” or “I still wonder if he loves me or he’s just leading me on” or “what if I’m not the only one?” I’m no expert on relationships but one thing I know is that if you have to wonder if someone really loves you then maybe you already know the answer to that.

Think about it this way. True love like a light cannot be hidden. It is like an incandescent light that needs no source of energy to shine. All the energy it needs are within. Nobody has ever been able to truly give an accurate definition of love. In fact, we’d rather say that God is love and since we’re not God then we can never truly love. Okay, maybe we humans only know how to express the kind of love that depends on conditions or feelings but I know one thing for sure. There’s a manual that tells us what love is and what love is not. Have you ever read that manual? Before you go cracking your pretty brain, trying to decipher whether his words are true or not, here’s what you should know about love.

Love has a personality. He has a face, a name an attitude and an expression. Love is a patient and kind person. Love looks honest and tells the truth at all times. Love can go the distance or walk a thousand miles to prove himself. Love is hopeful. It will take a great deal of effort to make love lose faith in times of trouble. Love is enduring and doesn’t act out in anger even when he is provoked. You know who love isn’t? Love is not that man that is murderously jealous or boastful. He is not too proud to apologize when he does something wrong and he is not rude. He is not selfish and doesn’t insist on having his way all the time. Love is not irritable but is understanding. Love does not keep a grudge. He is quick to forget things you did that hurt him (I’m still learning that one). He doesn’t rejoice when other people hit bad times and above all, never loses faith in you, the one he loves.

…And you say you are in love. Let’s live love and let’s learn to recognize love when we find it. You want to know more about love? Check out 1 Corinthians 13.

So, the Valentine’s day is over but let’s live, give and be love.

Keep being complete…

Femmetotale

Last first date – An Exciting Meet

Young Couple Drinking Wine

You all probably know by now how much I love hearing love stories, about how meeting a stranger blossoms into something beautiful and lasting. After all, every friend you have today was once a stranger but by sharing certain interests and getting involved in each other’s lives, that one-time stranger quickly becomes a part of your life.

I’m always interested in the ‘first meet’ part of every love story. It’s amazing to hear about how a man bumped into a lady and helped her pick up her books that fell and got scattered on the floor. One thing led to another and they fell in love and lived happily ever and after. I know I’ve seen that a lot in movies but does it happen in real life? I mean, out here in the real world we seem to meet that ‘special someone’ in least expected places like; on the road (under the scorching sun), or at the ATM point (where you were waiting impatiently for your turn) or….. the market. Okay, before I go spilling the beans again, my girl, Tosin met that ‘special someone’ at a least expected place and she dished it all right out to me. When I read her mail, I was just about to eat my fried yam and stew which I had been longing for all day. Here’s how it went. Hear it right from her. My own words are in brackets and italics.

Hi Femmetotale,

I commented on your post about the “last first date” and you asked me to share my experience and here it is.

This happened around 4yrs back when I was still in the University. I came around from school to visit my cousin in Ibadan. I cannot remember the incident word for word but I remember the encounter vividly. Biko! don’t laugh too much. (Ok, girl you know when you tell someone not to laugh too much it automatically gets them laughing. 🙂 )

My cousin had gone to work and I was left alone at home. I was so bored that I decided to spice up my day. I went to Sango market to buy some foodstuffs. I also decided to buy some CD’s at a stand and that was how I met this guy. (Oooooohhhh….this is the part I so love to hear about… how they met… I’m all ears!)

We got talking about movies. I realised he was an avid movie watcher just like me. He sounded so nice and we exchanged numbers. He called me the next day and this was when the drama started. While we were talking, something led to another and I told him I had not yet taken my bath. He scolded me and told me to go and bath joor.

Then the shocker came. He said, “I don’t want to go out with a smelling girl”. * Jaw drops* Did I hear this guy correctly? He just said I was smelling! (HUH? WHAT!!!!! Babes, I don’t think your jaw dropped as low as mine. Even my mum would scold my brothers for telling their sister that she’s smelling. It’s a big cultural ‘no no’)

Foolish me, I overlooked that language. I didn’t know it was a sign of more to come. We continued talking and we agreed to meet in an eatery. I cleaned up and got dressed, hoping to have fun with my new date. *rolling my eyes*. On getting to the eatery, I called him to come out to meet me but he asked me to come inside. I hate looking all around for my first dates in an unfamiliar place. (A guy I was talking to recently actually said that only a girl that doesn’t know her worth goes to search for the guy on a first date. He should be the one to come out and search. I didn’t particularly agree with him then but Tosin’s story is making me wish I had.) I insisted so he agreed to come out. He called me that he was outside but I couldn’t still see him. We kept talking on phone till I located him. Just before he dropped the call, I heard something like Olodo! Gbam! The second shocker! Olodo ke, I don enter am today! (Okay, at this point my jaw dropped so low that the yam I was about to eat fell out of my mouth. WHAT???)

We went inside, made our orders and settled down. Then another drama started.

# Part 1) He asked to see the contents of my purse and I refused. Then we started dragging my purse together and when I would not release it he became pissed. (No comments on this one. What was he hoping to see in the bag, biko?)

# Part 2) We continued eating and chatting. All of a sudden, he asked to see my stomach!  “Stomach ke! Inside eatery, see my life o!” I blatantly refused and he was even more pissed.

# Part 3) I still stayed and we kept talking. Then he asked, “Who even told you that you are beautiful?” Ehn see question…. I didn’t still take offense. I smiled and told him that I have friends and families who compliment me. He gave me a mocking expression and said, “You are not fine. You are just OK.”

*Alarm bells sounding in my head* That was the last straw. I said to myself, “This is the last day you will ever see me!!!!”

I kept my cool and decided to leave few minutes later. You know another shocking thing? He wanted me to go home with him! Insult upon injury! Of course, I bluntly refused. (Okay, this is the one that just makes me mad. Why would you meet someone and ask her to go home with you on the same day? Even oyibos keep it simple till the third date except she’s the one that invited you to her place. Ladies, please help me out here!)
Some days later, he sent me a text that I didn’t even call or text him. He said “It’s so sad because it shows he didn’t mean anything to me.”

“Argggh! Call fire! He even had the nerve to get in touch after all that.”

Every girl I told the story to was angry with me for putting up with such nonsense.

Femmetotale, I am sure if you were my mother or elder sister, you would have beaten me for even taking such. (hahahahahaha… nope, I wouldn’t have beaten you. I’d have asked you why you didn’t call me immediately to come and take you away from there. Lolz…) Anyways, I am wiser now o! 

Tosin Florence Eyebiokin


We’ve all had to sit through bad dates before but this guy takes the cake. When I read about Tosin’s experience, at first, my jaw dropped and then dropped lower and then got shut cos I was mighty pissed. I sense that the guy is uncultured and just plain abusive and I pity the girl who will have to live through that for the rest of her life. The first ‘no no’ was telling the girl that she was smelling. Ok, I know guys you’re very close to can get away with that but not someone you’ve just met. The last straw that broke the camel’s back for me was when he told her that she wasn’t beautiful. I mean, who does that? Some people deserve to be put in that place that starts with the letter Z, kai! Anyways, thank God you were able to escape on time before he did more damage on you.

Ladies, I hope you could relate with Tosin’s experience. I sure did. Tosin is an amazing blogger and she blogs at www.chavivas.blogspot.com. You know that feeling you get when you’re walking by the brooks at dawn? That’s how her writing makes me feel… peaceful. You should go check out her blog.

Do have a splendid week and don’t forget to keep being complete.

Femmetotale.

PS: Last First Date is still up! Remember you can share your own bizarre dating experience with us. Just send a mail to alicia_davids@yahoo.com

Last first date – Oil and Water

Mixed race couple having coffee in cafe

Every lady needs a little bit of inspiration laced with plenty fun every day. I’m all about fun and inspiration so here’s a little fun to start your week with. Read on and enjoy with me. 

Remember I mentioned that I was starting a new column under my Memoirs of a Single Christian Chic called Last First Date? Okay, so here it is. I promise not to make you laugh so much that you’ll crack your ribs but just keep your doctor’s number handy…lol. Guys, I really wonder if you make these dating blunders when you do them on purpose. Trust me there are lots of unpardonable things we see on a first date that definitely marks it out as the last.

Some things just don’t get along well with each other. Take oil and water as an example, you can mix them together and shake as hard as you like but they’ll never become friends…..or will they? Let’s find out!

Okay, so I was in Abuja for a short visit and I met a friend’s friend who seemed pretty ‘civilized’ so I freely gave him my number when he asked. I remember wondering if there was something a little off about him but I quickly dispelled those concerns. He was quite normal except for his bloodshot eyes which I guessed could have been from anything including fatigue. He told me to expect his call and I was okay with that. A couple of days later, he called and asked to meet up.

Yours truly had a couple of beautiful new dresses I couldn’t wait to try out. I finally settled for the sea-green one with flowery patterns and a pair of pale brown heeley sandals. I knew the sandals weren’t too comfy but I decided to brave it cos those were my favourite pair and I had noticed he had a nice car the day we met.

He didn’t pick me up. He called at 5:30 and said I had to meet him up somewhere cos there was traffic. I wasn’t too familiar with the way and expressed my reservations, without adding that I was sure to get mighty blisters on my feet before I got to where he was. Anyways, so I finally made it to the area and called. The networks must have had some conspiracy against me that day cos it took me over 20 minutes of standing on the road before I finally got through to him. He was very apologetic, said he had been trying my number too and he was somewhere nearby. I was mildly relieved. At least someone was going to rescue me from my tired feet.

It was another thirty minutes of trying to locate each other that we met. Because I wasn’t very familiar with the area I was unable to give an accurate description of where I was and I couldn’t locate where he was either. Just when he was about to give up and turn back I suddenly saw him and breathed a huge sigh of relief. It was already getting dark and apart from the embarrassment of dressing up for nothing I was also tired and almost frustrated. I was really relieved to see him and I was just about to say so when he said something about my having wasted much of his time, in a very angry tone. I apologized. He hissed and asked me to get into the car on a softer tone. I ignored the slight irritation and got in.

He became nicer. He asked me how my day had been and if I was enjoying my visit. It had been nice so far, I said and relaxed. The traffic hadn’t eased up but he had a shorter route to our destination and in ten minutes he said we were close.

“Where are we going?” I couldn’t resist asking.

“Oh, it’s just close by. You enjoy eating soup, right?” He asked.

“Yes,” I actually enjoy eating soup and it seemed okay to me.

“I’m not really into all these fried rice and chicken stuff people buy in fast food joints,” he continued. “Once you eat eba or pounded yam, you’ll know you have really eaten.”

I nodded as I concurred with him.

He continued, “Baby I really like you oh! You’re just my type (oh..oh…warning bells….I mean, who talks like that?). I just like this your skinny stature (more warning bells!). You’re even looking more skinny and appetizing in this your green dress, like a mermaid! (no more warning bells…real alarm blaring).”

“What did you just say?” I was hoping I didn’t hear him correctly.

“Never mind,” he laughed. “We’re almost there. I hope you like Afang soup? This Calabar woman, she knows how to make it very well with plenty meat and fish. You will enjoy it!”

“Calabar woman? What kind of place is it?” I was getting worried about his attitude. He hadn’t seemed that way the day we met.

“You like intercontinental dishes naa? Don’t worry, you will love it.” He said and pulled the car to a stop in front of a plaza.

I came down from the car, dreading walking in those heels again but like most other girls, of course I bore it. I looked around and asked, “Where’s the place?”

“Oh, it’s just here,” he said, pointing towards his left. I couldn’t really see any building with neon lights or at least a large sign but I walked behind him. We got to the place and he walked in, motioning for me to go in too.

The shock didn’t register immediately. I was still wondering if he wanted to pick up something from someone. Then it started creeping in. Did I dress up in my pretty dress and heels just to go eat in a ‘buka’? (eyes popping…). “Is this the place?” I asked, ignoring the sinking feeling in my tummy.

“Yes, Mama Ekaete makes Afang soup veeeerrryy well! Leave all those nonsense they make in restaurants. After eating her food, you will never eat Afang soup anywhere else.”

In order not to seem rude, I walked in with him and sat on the rusted chair, praying earnestly that my dress won’t rip off when it was time to stand up.

He made orders for both of us and I told him that I wasn’t really hungry as I had just eaten before leaving the house. I couldn’t tell him that the numerous flies perching on the table had stripped me of my appetite. “Baby, that time you wasted on the road eh, I was very hungry and it even increased the hunger for me.”

I pursed my lips and refrained from apologizing. Matter of fact, I felt I was the one who deserved an apology for dressing up to go on a date with him.

The food arrived and he ordered a malt drink for me. I couldn’t tell what irritated me most – the flies buzzing in my ears or the sound from his mouth as he smacked his lips while sucking out every bit of flesh from the fish he was eating and dropping the bones on the table. He spoke as he ate, “Baby, I’m sure you’re very sweet, sweeter than this Afang soup. Shebi you will follow me home this night?” he said, and attempted something like a wink.

That was it!!! I had had enough. I couldn’t stand one more minute of that. I walked out of the place, determined to go as far away as possible from him, my anger overshadowing the pain in my feet.

That was definitely a last first date! Surely, oil and water don’t mix…they just don’t.

Have  a blessed week!

Femmetotale

 

PS: Have you had any similar experience? Please share your experience with us. I can’t wait to hear yours too. Just inbox me on alicia_davids@yahoo.com. Cheers!

 

 

How to get the girl of your dreams II

I started a post yesterday on how to get the girl of your dreams. If you missed it then here’s your chance to get the background to this continuation. You can click here to read it. I’ve got my go-ahead so now I can start *rubbin my hands in glee*. Remember that this post is not about giving you secret tips on how to get any girl you desire. It’s about getting the girl you deserve so before you take the first step, carefully analyze yourself to see if she is someone you deserve and save yourself the stress. I’m not going to tell you who you deserve. It is entirely your place to decide. So if you decide that she’s a girl you deserve then these few tips should enable you to make the right move. Enjoy!

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So, you’ve seen that girl of your dreams and you don’t want to miss the chance to get her to say yes to you. Here are a few simple tips on how to get the girl you want. Ladies, do I have your permission to reveal some of our secrets? Okay, so I’ll just dish out a few of them and if my girls let me then I’ll dish out more.

Getting a girl is very much like going for a job interview. You know when you are called for an interview in a company where you know that once you get that job you are made for life, you try to put in your best to get it. If that girl you want is really important to you then you have to make the best effort

#1. Prepare yourself well: Nobody goes for an interview unprepared, looking like something a cat dragged out of a bottle (not unless your father is the owner of the company and the interview is just a formality or you’re Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happiness and you’re so intelligent that they won’t mind how you look). You must remember that women respond not only to how you look but also to how they perceive you (I’m not really referring to smell). There has to be an aura around you that can tell them who you are before you say a word. A girl always knows which man to give two seconds of her time, I mean enough time to say “please I’m in a hurry” and who to pay attention to. You mustn’t drive a hot car before you can get a girl you like. You just have to be able to package yourself very well. So how do you prepare yourself? That means that you should always dress well and smell nice. Develop yourself as much as you can by reading books and following world events. Many girls these days are not just educated but intelligent. Remember that to get a girl interested in you, you must show her that there is something in you that she needs.

#2. First impressions matter: They say that first impressions matter and you may never get a second chance to make a good first impression. This means that you have to utilize the best chance you have. You may meet the girl of your dreams walking along the road and choose to take your chance. You may, on the other hand, observe her for a while and take your time. Whichever option you have, you must remember that you have to put your best foot forward at the right time. The best way to make a good first impression is to use a great punch line! If you have been on an interview panel before then you’ll know that the candidate you never forget is the one that started his answer with a good punch line.  For instance, you could walk up to her, smile and say, “Here you are. We’ve been searching for you!” She’s bound to say, “Excuse me?” or “Sorry?” At which time you now say, “I heard there’s an Angel missing in heaven and we’ve been searching for you everywhere.” Okay, that was just for fun 😀 but that has definitely got to make her smile except if she’s just a difficult person or she’s in a sour mood. Even if her response is not what you expected, don’t worry, that’s your chance to tell her your name. Find something to compliment about her. It may be her hair, her smile or her dressing. Girls go to a great length to dress up and would really like to know that someone appreciates their effort. You can find out her name and if she’s a student or she’s working. Say something witty that will make her remember your name. Remember that you should be smiling. Girls, like babies respond to sincere smiles and it will keep her at ease. Don’t linger, ask her for her number and tell her you will call her later because there’s somewhere you really need to be. That will get her curious about you.

Also, don’t forget that getting a girl you like is pretty much the same as making friends. You have to master the art of making friends by learning to make good conversations. You need to be able to strike up conversations confidently and make sure you say something positive. People tend to remember the negative things faster.

Bear in mind that most girls play hard to get so don’t always expect to get a very positive response. However, if you’re really interested in getting it right then you should make a good effort.

Look out for this column on Femmetotale for more tips on how to get the girl of your dreams.

Stay blessed.

Femmetotale.

To Fan an Old Flame IV

Sorry femmes, I know it’s been a while but here’s the next edition of To Fan an Old Flame. I know you’re eager to know what happened next. How did Christie treat Frank in the past? Did Frank recognize Christie and did they become friends again? Find out in this next part. Meanwhile, if you missed the first 3 parts then click to read Part I, Part II and Part III.

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Continued from last edition…..

She laughed softly under her breath and Frank asked her what amused her so. “Nothing much, I just remembered something that happened last night.” Christie shook her head slightly and giggled again. Then she realized that they were approaching the hall for the event. She knew she had to say something quickly and get rid of him. She was grateful for his help but she was already tired of his silence.

“This is where we’re holding the dinner tonight.”

She expected him to walk away but he stood there nervously, like he had something he really wanted to say.

“My name is Frank Daniel Kenechukwu. I’m a 300 Level student of Statistics.” He said.

Christie rolled her eyes. Did he really have to pronounce his full name like that. He was obviously a boring guy and Christie was seconds away from yawning. She checked herself in time. Her friend, Muna had told her the day before that she was too rude to guys. “I’m Cristabel Eze. 2nd year Marketing. Everybody calls me Christie.” She decided to toe his bee line.

Frank was silent for a while. Christie decided to break the silence again. “F.D.K,” She said.

“What did you say?” Frank asked.

“I said, F.D.K. Those are your initials, right?”

“Yes.” Frank laughed silently. He seemed to be thinking. “I’ve never thought about it that way.”

“Well, that’s a new thing then.” Christie shrugged. There was something cute about his bashfulness. Maybe she could be friends with him. After all, there were so many more assignments left to be done before they graduated. She smiled to herself at that mischievous thought.

They were in front of Abubakar Hall when Christie said, “Do you want to attend the dinner? Actually the IV is sold for N100 and N150 for two persons. It is for a complete meal.”

“Really? It is very cheap. What kind of meal is that?” Frank looked suspicious.

Christie laughed casually. She had had to answer that question a number of times. “It is for a whole meal and you have two options of; rice with moi moi and chicken, including fruit salad and a drink or eba and egusi soup with fish. It has been subsidized by my fellowship. The idea is to get people to attend the dinner and also deliver the word of God to them. You gain both ways.” For some reason, Christie hoped he would turn down the invitation.

“In that case, I would love to attend. Do I need to dress formally? Do you have any date or can I get tickets for both of us?”

Christie was surprised. She hadn’t expected him to be interested and she hadn’t thought about being anybody’s date to the dinner. “Yes, the dress code is formal. A shirt and trouser would do for you. I don’t think I’ll be needing a date since I’m part of the organizers.”

His face fell. “It wouldn’t be fun for me to go there alone.”

For some reason, Christie felt like cheering him up. She didn’t know how to turn someone who had been of much help to her that night down. “Okay, I’ll try as much as I can to squeeze out time to sit with you if you attend.”

Frank smiled like a toddler, “Thank you, Christie, let me go and get ready.” He walked away quickly.

Christie walked into the hall. Satisfied that everything had been prepared the way she wanted, she went to her hostel, quickly changed into a formal purple dress with sequined detail on the neckline. She admired her look of simplicity with a touch of class. Then she went back to the hall.

The hall was already quite full. She had expected a large turn up but she never imagined it that way. She soon spotted Frank in a tuxedo. Christie was surprised. She hadn’t expected him to take it so seriously. She walked over to him. He looked as if he was ready to bolt from the room any minute. Christie smiled warmly at him, “You’re welcome. I didn’t know you would make it.”

“Am I okay in this?” Frank adjusted his slightly over-sized jacket.

Christie had always be known to be blunt, “You shouldn’t have bothered dressing up so much. A shirt and trouser would have been just fine.”

Frank blushed so much that his pimples even looked purple.

Christie laughed and bumped his shoulders playfully to ease the tension “Relax, you look okay.” He seemed to relax a bit and even smiled.

The rest of the evening went smoothly. Everything went according to plan. Well, everything except for one of the guest artistes who didn’t show up. The story was that her car had broken down on the way so she and her crew were unable to make it to the dinner. It wasn’t much of a setback. The rest of the event went so well that the Head Pastor even called Christie and commended her for a job well done. She beamed with smiles as she walked back to meet Frank who was waiting patiently for her. She had managed to shuttle effectively between Frank’s table and organizing the event.

After that night, Frank became a regular figure by her side. He visited her so often that he was often referred to as one of her roommates. He helped her out with class work as much as he could even though they weren’t even course mates. Christie heard from a reliable source in his class that he was a candidate for a first class degree in Statistics. Frank eventually asked Christie to be his girlfriend a couple of months after they started seeing each other. She turned down his offer. He just wasn’t her type. Muna had told her to give Frank a chance. He seemed like a nice guy. Christie couldn’t get past the pimples on his face or his tall, gangly frame.

That was seven years ago. The Frank standing behind that powerful desk wasn’t the same Frank she used to know. This Frank wasn’t skinny and had no single pimple or spot on his face. He didn’t stutter when he spoke. He wasn’t wearing ridiculous white-rimmed glasses, instead he had on a very cute pair of black Chanel glasses. He didn’t look nervous or unsure of himself. He was well built and was wearing a starched sky-blue shirt with a patterned navy blue tie over well cut trousers.

“Oh my God! Frank, what a surprise!’ Christie said and walked closer to the table.

He extended his hand and smiled coolly. “Hello Christie, what a pleasant surprise too. What are you doing in my office?”

To be continued….

Femmetotale

Watch out for the next part of To Fan an Old Flame. You’re sure going to love it! 🙂