Something to love

Couple hugging in urban park

They say men love toys and they never get over their love for toys no matter what age they are. I mean, girls love to play with dolls but that’s just cos of their natural instinct to care for something other than themselves and they do get over it. When they get older, they become more concerned about things like fashion, make-up, looking good, gisting, etc…lol. Guys on the other hand, hmm…they never get over their toys rather the toys just get more expensive (talk about PS4, expensive cars and the rest)…lol. A guy makes some huge amount of money and the next thing he’s thinking about is that toy he had always dreamed of having, like the guitar used by Elvis Presley himself (or something that looks like that) never mind that he doesn’t know how to play a guitar. Okay, someone is thinking I’m just being gender biased. Am I? We’ll see.

You know what’s best about having toys? They’re easy to relate with. They don’t talk back at you, argue with you or walk away from you. It is your property and you can use it anyway you like, who’s going to object as long as it doesn’t affect anybody else’s peace. What’s more, you can change your toy into anything you want. For instance, you can pimp up your car like a gangstaz ride. Just send it to pimp-my-ride and they will have it back for you looking like you just stepped out of Men in Black with it. Your car is never going to complain about the changes you made to it. All other toys can be changed at anytime at the snap of your finger. After all, it’s your property.

So now you’re in a relationship and you say you’re in love but you’ve never quite gotten over the habit of changing things into what you want. If only I can change this part of her just a little bit or if I could mold her into my idea of the perfect woman then maybe I’ll really fall in love with her. Did I only say, ‘her’? We ladies are sometimes just as caught up in that bad attitude of wanting to change someone into someone we can love too. Once anybody wants to change you into someone he can love then that’s a clear indication that he doesn’t love you. Love starts from acceptance.

So he’s been telling you that he loves fair girls and would have preferred if you were fair. Now you’re asking around for the safest type of bleaching cream to start using. Or maybe he told you that your chest is too flat and you’re spending hours on the internet reading about the best way to get bigger boobs. Or has he told you that he doesn’t like the sound of your voice and you keep mute whenever you’re together so that he won’t have cause to complain? So how long do you think you’re going to last in that?

If you love someone then you must accept that person the way she is. Love in itself is acceptance. Love does not force change. God loves us despite our many flaws. It is the knowledge of His love that causes us to see our inadequacies and desire to change. This doesn’t mean that we should continue in wrong conduct and resist change. This is just a reminder that if God does not force change in us then we have no place forcing change in anybody else.

So if you really desire change in your partner, instead of coercing or nagging daily, try love. Try the God-kind of love and you’ll get the change you desire.


NB: If you were inspired by this post, don’t just read and smile :D. Get involved! Share on your social networks, facebook and twitter. You never know whose life you’re going to help change. Have a great weekend!


To fan an old flame


As Christie walked briskly down the street that bright Monday morning, hurrying to her new office, she couldn’t help wondering if it was just her or if everybody was staring at her like they knew she was new in town. It didn’t help matters that she had to ask for direction each time she took a couple of steps. It was her first day at her new job and she didn’t want to miss a single turn and have to retrace her steps. That would cause a setback in her plans to arrive very early at the office.

Christie stood in front of the high rise building that housed the company she would soon call hers and took a deep breath. She wasn’t nervous, rather she was excited but taking a deep breath seemed like the natural thing to do before starting the first step into the rest of her working life. She took the elevator to the sixth floor as she had been told. When she came out of the elevator, she plastered a smile on her face and walked up to the security man at the door.

“Good morning, my name is Christie. I was asked to resume duties here as a Brand Marketing Associate. Can you please point me in the direction of the Human Resources Office? Thank you.” In three quick sentences she had introduced herself and what she was there for. Christie had often been told that she spoke as briskly as she walked but she couldn’t understand why people were slow to understand her and frankly couldn’t even think about slowing down her speech for anybody. The security man looked stunned as though the effort he had expended on trying to understand her articulate speech had completely worn him out. He simply motioned to her to walk in and pointed at a lady sitting behind the counter in the centre of the reception hall.

“Good morning,” Christie still had that cool, self-assured smile on her face.

“How may I help you?” The lady behind the counter adjusted the collar of her black suit and propped the receiver of an intercom between her right ear and shoulder and spoke into the mouth piece as she typed, still staring at the monitor of her computer.

“My name is Christie Eze, I was asked to resume duties today as….” Christie broke off her sentence as the lady pointed towards her right. Christie’s first instinct was to ask if there was a no-speaking policy in the firm. First it was the security man and now the receptionist. She wondered what the reaction of the next person she was to meet would be. “Excuse me, where did you say…” The lady pointed in the same direction again, more forcefully this time as if someone had just stepped on her toes and she continued speaking to the person on the other end of the line.

Christie hissed softly. She wasn’t about to let her good mood get dampened by any old lady with a bad work attitude. She walked in the direction the lady had pointed at and took a turn until the end of the corridor. Then she saw two doors on one side and one on the other side. On closer look, she saw that the two doors led to the elevators while the second door seemed like the door to an office. There was no need asking any further questions. Christie had already asked enough questions to last her a life time. She simply rapped twice on the door and stepped into the impressive office. There was a man standing behind the mahogany desk near the large windows overlooking a magnificent view of the city. The man was talking on the phone and looking down through the window.

Deciding it would be rude to interrupt, Christie stood patiently in front of the large desk, wondering where it must have been imported from because there was no way she would believe that something that perfect could have been made in Nigeria. There was also a set of settees made from fine leather on both sides. Everything in the office reeked of class and good taste. The man behind the desk chose that moment to turn around, while he was still talking on the phone, to see who had just walked into his office. Christie gasped in surprise as recognition flooded his face while her mind flashed back to that day 7 years ago when she had first met Frank.

To be continued….

Click here to read the rest of the story…

Part II, Part III, Part IV Part V

To be a side chic III

Couple walking together

Tomi pretended to be thinking for a while. She was actually thrilled. ‘Sounds interesting,’ she said.

Mak smile widely, ‘How do you feel about firsts?’


If you missed the first two parts of To be a Side Chic then click here to read Page 1 and Page 2!

‘Firsts?’ Tomi was confused.

‘When last did you do something for the first time?’ Mak asked.

Tomi shrugged, ‘I don’t know.’

‘You know what, why don’t we take a cab, stop at my hotel, drop our boxes and then go do something completely out of plan, something unusual? ‘For me, this will be my first time of meeting a girl that picked up my bag by mistake and spending the evening with her instead of going to hang out with my buddies as planned.’’

Tomi liked the idea but she was a bit wary. With the stories of girls getting abducted by strange men and being led to their doom by friendly strangers on facebook, she knew she had to be cautious but Mak looked completely harmless.

‘Don’t worry, I don’t bite,’ Mike chuckled. ‘You need to see your face right now. We’re just dropping our boxes in my room so that we don’t have to slug them around. Besides, I’m famished. Don’t you want to get something to eat?’

‘Ok, I guess I should trust you,’ Tomi smiled. She was already excited at the prospect of spending time with him plus she was more than famished too.’

Mak took his time selecting cabs until he found a neat one with functional air-conditioner and a courteous driver. He gave the address of the hotel to the cab man and they both relaxed in the back seat. They arrived at the hotel in ten minutes. Mak had chosen a hotel close to the airport so that he could get to the airport on time the next day. Tomi walked up to the reception with him, admiring the tastefully furnished hotel. Having a keen interest in interior decoration herself, Tomi could always spot a good job. She also wondered how much the tariff for a night there would be. ‘Probably enough to settle the cab man’s bills for the month,’ She thought to herself.

In a few minutes, Mak was done. He went up to his room with the porter and after keeping their boxes in the room returned to meet Tomi who was waiting for him in the lobby. They went back into the taxi and Mak told him the name of the restaurant they were going to. The taxi man seemed to know the place. While Mak was answering a phone call, Tomi was reminiscing about the events of the past few hours. Mak seemed like the perfect gentleman. He held open the car door for her to get into the car, he listened to her whenever she had something to say, he made her feel safe around him, he was considerate and charming.

Mark ended the call and turned to smile at Tomi. ‘I’m really glad I met you today. My evening would have been perfectly boring.’

Tomi just smiled and shrugged. She didn’t want to seem too excited but she could hardly control those little butterflies fluttering in her insides.

They arrived at the restaurant in less than thirty minutes. Again, he held the door open for her and gently led her inside the posh place. It was owned and manned by Indians. Tomi had never been in a place that grand and hoped she wouldn’t do something improper and embarrass herself. Mak took charge of everything. Although he had never been to that particular restaurant, he had been to a similar place before so he had an idea of the best things to order. She ate something called ‘Fish Masala’ with ‘Basmati Rice Pulao’. The waiter explained that it was pearl white rice sautéed and flavoured with spices and boneless fish. It was quite a feast for Tomi who was eating her main meal for the day.

Tomi would later say that it was the best first date she’d ever had. The meals were so delicious and the glass of red wine she drank made her feel giddy. They talked like school children. Tomi discovered that Mak was very good natured and humble. Sometimes he would laugh so much that tears glistened his eyes. She was surprised to hear that he enjoyed horror movies just as much as she did.

‘My best scary movie is ‘Saw’. I know they say it’s not that scary but I thoroughly enjoyed it.’ Mak said.

Tomi nodded vigorously. ‘I haven’t seen any other movie that was as scary as ‘Saw.’ Most of the horror movies they make these days are so predictable.’

On and on the evening went until Tomi glanced at her watch and realized that it was almost 8pm. ‘Oh my God! I totally lost track of time. I should call my brother now so he can pick me up.’ Mak didn’t look happy but he simply shrugged. Obioha answered the call at the third ring. ‘Tomi, how are you doing?’

‘I’m fine, Obii. Guess what?’ Tomi said in excitement.


‘I’m in Lagos. I wanted to surprise you.’

There was a short pause before Obioha said, ‘Really? Oh, I wish you had called me earlier. We’re not at home right now. Maggie and I are at her parents’ place in Ibadan. She received a call from home earlier today that her sister had an accident. Her car was hit by a trailer on her way to work in the morning. Maggie was so anxious that we had to rush down here this evening.’

‘Ewo! I’m so sorry, Obii. Is she okay?’ Tomi was worried.

‘Well, she passed away shortly after arriving at the hospital. It’s really sad.’ Obioha sounded very low.

Tomi could only imagine how Maggie was feeling that moment. ‘Can I talk to Maggie?’ Tomi asked.

‘She’s still in shock. She’s been crying since we got here. I’ve had to watch William myself.’ Obioha said. Tomi wondered how the baby was faring. ‘Tomi, you’re going to have to find somewhere to stay tonight. You can call one of your friends or stay with Aunty Jenny. I’ll be back to Lagos in the morning because I have to work tomorrow. Maggie will be here with William for till the end of the week.’

‘Ok, I will. Please take care of yourself and extend my condolence to Maggie.’ After Tomi ended the call, her mind began to work like a clock. She had to figure out a place to stay that night. She wished she hadn’t come without informing her brother first. She wished…

‘Tomi are you alright?’ Mak was touching her hand slightly. In those few minutes of hearing about the tragedy that befell her sister-in-law, Tomi had forgotten about the chance encounter that had brought her in contact with Mak.

‘Yes, I’m fine. I’m just a bit shaken after the bad news I got from my brother.’ Tomi said.

‘I’m sorry about that. I could tell it was bad news from your reaction. What happened?’ Mak inquired.

Tomi told him about the accident and the fact that she had to find an alternative place to spend the night until her brother’s return the next morning.

Mak’s face seemed to light up at that. ‘That’s easy, you can stay with me tonight!’ He said.

To be continued…

NB: Watch out for the concluding part of To be a Side Chic… ‘You don’t rush a delicious meal!’

What I’d love for Valentine’s day


at peaceLike they say, ‘love is in the air’. Yeah! It’s not only in the air, it is on our billboards, newspapers and TVs. It’s wearing wine red lingerie beckoning on you to step into it’s shops and max out your credit card. Those long valentine legs are in stilettos and luxurious hairs, calling out to you to come make their day. It’s even on the church altar, on the lovely red and white backdrops and programmes lined up for the week. You don’t believe in love? The only way you can avoid it this week is if you can take a trip to Venus and while you’re at it, make sure all radios are turned off and wear opaque lens so you won’t see all those happy couples holding hands.

Couples are making plans, hoping and waiting. The questions lurk in the corner… Is he going to blow my mind this valentine? Is he somehow going to read my mind and pick out the exact gift I’m hoping for? Is he even going to remember that we ought to celebrate love? Is he going to appreciate the gifts I’ve got for him (and ladies please boxers and singlets don’t count)? What if he’s not interested in being my val? Is he going to spend the day with me or will his phone’s battery suddenly mysteriously run down that day? Chocolates and flowers are nice but is he going to pick flowers outside my house and bring one packet of Mars again like he did last year? Uhuh, worse still, is he going to claim that only worldly people have time to celebrate valentine’s day instead of admitting that he’s too stingy to make that day special for both of you? The list is endless.

And the non-couples…that’s another story altogether. While you’re putting up cute love messages, sublimal or otherwise on twitter, facebook and BB, someone some where is earnestly hoping that she won’t get left out of the celebrations of love this year, hoping that cupid would come alive and shoot a love arrow that would pierce cleancute puppyly through that her co-worker’s heart and make him notice her beyond her work clothes. Someone else is wary of the season of love cos it’ll only bring up those memories she’d tried to keep on a lock-down since he broke her heart.

Ahah yes! So what would you love to have this valentine? I, for one, have made a list of what I would love for valentine. Here’s a few of them:

A cute puppy…surprised? I’d really love to see those wide sincere and innocent eyes staring up at me, walking with me, staying close when I’m sad and bringing me loads of joy.

A box off chocolates…cliché, yes but I’d love chocolates cos it tastes heavenly and gives you a sense of well-being and pleasure. It’s often been said that chocolate takes a chocolatesman’s place but what happens when both the man and chocolate are present?

A diamond necklace...yea yeah…let the girl dream. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. It’s not only beautiful, it lasts forever. So if you want to make my Val’s day, please give me diamonds.

diamond necklace

A bouquet of red roses…although a popular symbol of love, roses also remind us that you can stay beautiful even in the midst of thorns.Valentines-Day
Last but not the least…oh well…this is actually the main gift I’d love for valentine! What I’d really love is for people to become a totality of all these gifts – sincere innocence in love like puppies, pleasant and comforting like chocolates, constant and precious like diamonds, beautiful even in the midst of thorns like roses.

That said, I’m sooo looking forward to enjoying the Valentine’s day this year. Feel free to drop my own lovely gifts…**winks and you sure will get yours too. Spread love, share love and please don’t stop when the day is over.

Warm kisses…

Celebrating the season of love