Nuggets on True Love

Couple sitting on bed in trailer home and using digital tablet

The man who came up with the saying, “Procrastination is a thief of time,” must have been a very wise man indeed 🙂 for who else could have stolen almost the whole of July away from my blog? I know I won’t be let off the hook that easy, but I hope reading this post will make you change your mind.

So I heard this rich wisdom on love in church yesterday and I realised that I just had to dust up my blog and share it here. A lot have been said and heard about love. For all we know, there’s much more to hear and no one ever said there’s anything like too much wisdom. Being the wonderful person I am, I have decided to put down the stuff I’ve learnt on love for you too so if you’re considering marriage and you’re wondering on true love then you should read this. As always, my words are for the ladies (yea, I’m that partial 🙂 guys go get your own blog) but guys feel free to insert he or him as appropriate if you so desire.

Love is one concept that has defied all possible definition. Everyone has an opinion on what love is. For some, love is that intense feeling that can only be quenched by a sexual experience with the one they say they love. That kind of love is called Eros and just as quickly as it comes so also does it go. For some also, love is that feeling that is based on reason. They only love the one they say they love for some transient reason that may not always be. That’s Philos love. There’s also the kind of love that defies reason or conditions. It exists independently of reasons. That’s Agape love and is only fully expressed by God. Guess what? They’re all probably right about love since love is many things to many different people.

We may not have a specific definition of love but we do know what true love is when we see it. However, if you’re still in doubt about what true love is and you wonder whether the man that claims to love you truly does then here’s a few tips to help you. Don’t worry, you can thank me for posting this later **winks*

True love gives

Have you ever observed how easy it is for you to give freely and without reservations to the ones you love? Love always seeks the pleasure and happiness of the other. A mother can give up her last morsel of food to her child and go hungry. Love is that selfless. If you find yourself always willing to give to someone then you need wonder no more about whether you truly love him. And if he claims to love you then he should also willingly give to you.

Breaks and Mends

This is another great tip on true love. If you love someone then you’ll be ever willing to make up with him when you have a quarrel and please don’t tell me you never quarrel because that would just be an immature kind of relationships. You both come from different backgrounds and must disagree on certain issues. The question is when you quarrel do you reconcile and forgive each other easily or does it take so long for you to make up? Are you the one who is always willing to forgive even when he’s at fault or does he apologise too? Lady, if you’re the one who is always ready to mend the relationship then you might just be the only one whose love is true.

An open admirer

When we were young, we knew a lot about secret admirers who sometimes were not so secret lol but it’s that simple. To truly love someone you must admire him and be proud to show him off. You don’t admire someone you love in secret. You’ll want to shout it from the rooftops for all to hear. If he truly loves you also then he must be proud to show you off. Does he only affirm his love for you when you both are alone or does he pay you compliments in the company of others? If you know the answer to this then you know if your love is true or not.

An anchor in crisis

A man who truly loves you will stick with you in times of crisis. There are friends who are often nowhere to be found when you are in crisis and there’s a friend who sticks closer than a sister. Agape love doesn’t depend on perfect conditions but is forever. Supposing he was to hit on bad times and maybe lose his job would you remain loyal or will that be the end of your love? Would he stick with you if some tragedy befell you? I know it’s often difficult to tell who will stick with you for life when there’s a tragedy but any man who will be an anchor in crisis has my vote in the true love contest.

Naked and not ashamed

True love is not afraid of the skeletons in your cupboards. Just as true love sticks with you in times of crises it is also not easily doused by the skeletons in your cupboard. True love should be able to see you for who you are and not be put off. Also, will you run away when you meet the skeletons in his cupboard? This should help you know if your love is true or if it is philos. However, hmm … those skeletons had better be the type you can bear oh abeg! Don’t get into something you can’t bear and say Femmetotale gave you the go ahead! Lol!

In speech and companionship

If a man truly loves you, he will value your input in his life and vice versa. True love seeks the company of the centre of his affection and loves to listen to you. That means you should both be able to enjoy each other’s company and jointly solve your problems.

Time factor

True love will always stand the test of time. A relationship should be given time to grow. Don’t be in a hurry. Take time to study and know each other. After all you will be together forever.

Love is a flame. It burns like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love. Songs of Solomon 8:6-7.

Okay, I know the tests of true love are truly inexhaustible but this is the much I could scribble down here. Feel free to add your own nuggets and share with others. Remember true love is seen in giving.

And if you’re still wondering where I got these wonderful nuggets from, I had fun listening to a very wise woman say all these in Dominion City, Gwarinpa, Abuja. Don’t envy me just ask me nicely and you may have the opportunity to hear it all yourself next time.

Till my next post, let your love be true and may it never be quenched by the waters.

Femmetotale

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How to get the girl of your dreams

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I guess over a million articles have been written on how to get the man of your dreams, how to get him to propose to you, how to make him fall in love with you and etcetera. Right there, while writing all those stuff women want to hear, nobody remembers that the man is not a superhuman. Getting a girl he likes is not a skill that comes naturally to him. As a matter of fact, women are probably better prepared for relationships in life because right from childhood, her mom, some aunty or cousin starts drumming it into her ears that she has to play hard-to-get for a man #MakeHimSweatFirst 😀 so that he will value you more. She is taught how to keep a man fascinated and with the myriads of articles on it, she is more than prepared for relationships.

For the man, it is so not the same. Very few fathers have time to teach their sons how to get a girl and so most of the time he depends on stuff he hears from his friends (who don’t really know better, anyway), stuff he watches on TV or he simply does it the way he feels. The few lucky ones get it right through their natural talents or pick up some good skills after getting it wrong a few times. Some others are so cute that the girls naturally do all the chasing and they only make their choices. Still some others try and fail so much and they keep wondering why they can’t seem to get the girl they really want. Is there something wrong or something they aren’t doing right? There are two things you must know; first, not every girl will like you the way you like her because she may well be the girl of your dream but you may not be the man of her dream and secondly you cannot always make someone like you. Try your best with a few good steps but if the response is not positive then know when to bow out.  

Some people say that husbands are scarce and there are so many girls available every where. Recently, I’ve heard guys say that girls are everywhere but wives are scarce. Surprising right? They say that the available girls are everywhere but they find it difficult to get the ones they really want. Just because you want a car doesn’t mean that you’d be happy to drive pure water (with due respect to pure water owners). A man also wants to get the girl of his dream.

You’ve also heard it said that good girls always go for the bad boys. Why is that? It’s very sigood girlsmple. The bad boys are the ones that know how to get the girls. Good guys often carry last (#thesadtruth). Have you also noticed that the bad guys aren’t always the most handsome or the richest ones? They just know the right things to say and they have the best techniques. As the very nice girl that I am, I decided to do a little fact finding for you guys so I asked the few bad guys I know what their secrets are and what charm they use in getting all the girls. You want to know what I discovered? Well, in order not to make this a very long post, I’ve decided to end it here and wait for your go-ahead to conclude it. Ladies, if you feel the guys really need to hear this then I need your consent and gents if you want to hear this then also feel free to say so.

Till I get your go-ahead…keep being blessed and have a fruitful week.

Femmetotale

 

NB: Hey Femmes, I’m starting a new sub-category under my Memoirs of a Single Christian Chic called Last First dates. There some first dates that end with goodbye forever simply because someone did something stupid or did not do something right. If you have any hilarious experience that is worth sharing then please send me a brief summary of your story to my e-mail, alicia_davids@yahoo.com. Don’t worry your identity will be kept private if you so wish. Meanwhile, I’m sharing mine first 😉 .

You are not ready for marriage

Multi-ethnic newlyweds hugging at beach

A lady who was down and out on her luck went to a fortune teller, hoping to find a reason to continue living. The fortune teller found something positive  in her future and told the lady, ‘You will be proposed to 3 times in the next 6 months.’ She said, ‘No, it will only happen once.’ When asked why, she said ‘Cos I’ll accept the very first proposal and there’d be no need for the other two!’

I found this an interesting story because many people have gotten to a point when they have had to say this especially due to pressures from family and society.

I attended a couple of weddings lately. Ladies, we really know how to have fun with ourselves. Underneath the facade of just looking good in their bridesmaid dresses and asoebis was the age-long scheme of all womankind. I noticed the coy looks under the smoky eyelashes. Was it the flirtatious giggles or the fake British accents in singsong voices? Everybody had something planned to catch new suitors. Yes, it was all about the new catches. It was all about being the next in line.

One of the new acquaintances I made asked me a question. He may have been at loss on how to make meaningful conversation but I found his question quite interesting. He asked me what age I feel a lady should be ready to get married. My first response was a long grin which I’m sure made him feel embarrassed. Then I laughed out loud and asked him, ‘ready or ripe?’ He was just as perplexed as you are now. I went ahead to remind him that his question applied to both sexes. That inspired this post. The question is, are you ripe or ready for marriage?

Think about it this way…

Do you have a life-sized chip on your shoulders, always thinking that your opinion is the best and your decision ought to be final. Are u more likely to throw a tantrum once someone disagrees with you? Then you are ripe, not ready for marriage.

Do you always need someone to make decisions for you and somehow you have come to believe that your future depends on someone else? Then you are ripe, not ready for marriage.

Do you need someone who will meet all your financial needs? Then you are ripe not ready for marriage

Are you more excited about the wedding than the marriage? Sure the beautiful ring, white gown and cake are alluring but when the dress comes off and all the well wishers are gone then starts the real thing. If you’ve not spent time thinking about that part then you’re ripe, not ready for marriage.

If you’re doing it just because all your friends are getting married too then I guess I don’t need to tell you that you’re ripe, not ready for marriage.

If you’re not ready to put someone’s needs first before yours then you’re definitely ripe, not ready for marriage.

Suddenly it doesn’t matter anymore what he does for a living, whether you love him or whether he really loves you…lady, you’re ripe, not ready for marriage.

Are you thinking about your family and what they are likely to benefit from your marriage? Then you’re ripe, not ready for marriage.

Are you more concerned about appending the ‘Mrs’ to your name than the character of the ‘Mr’? Then you are ripe, not ready for marriage.

Have you started overlooking that character flaw that causes you to have a nagging feeling in your mind? You may just be ripe, not ready for marriage.

Marriage requires mental maturity and not just physical maturity (I’m not encouraging #child marriage by the way). Mental maturity requires the ability to make decisions after considering important factors and to stand by your decisions. Think about it!

Femmetotale

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