For Single Ladies: 5 men you must never say yes to!

© Copyright 2015 Corbis Corporation

I feel pretty nostalgic writing this post especially at this time of the year when single ladies everywhere are busy getting their groves on, searching for their Mr. Right. In this part of the world, this festive season everyone knows how common it is for girls to look prettier than KimK herself, wear exotic hairstyles and expensive dresses just to get all the attention and who knows they just might get one moneybag straight from Yankee with enough dough to sponsor a celebrity Introduction/Traditional Wine-carrying ceremony, all before the year comes to an end. I mean, I’m sitting here with a mischievous smile on my face thinking of stuff I’d probably have been doing right now while appearing to be celebrating Christmas and the end of the year along with everyone else. Yeah, I’m out of that stage now and with the benefit of hindsight and of course experience I can easily write stuff like this.

Ok, so you are getting all the attention you craved for when you were fixing your expensive hair but here’s a list of the 5 men you must not say yes to this season.

© Copyright 2012 CorbisCorporation

2. Vain Vincent: This is the type of guy that is basically in love with mirrors. He stops to check out his reflection whenever you pass by a mirror or a glass door. His beard is always neatly groomed, his clothes impeccable, his sunshades designers and on his neck a gold chain. He’s always asking you, “how do I look?” and never pays you a compliment no matter how beautiful you look. It’s almost as if he’s the female in the relationship and he’s not even gay, he’s just vain. If you’re looking for a man to say yes to this season, Vain Vincent is certainly not that guy. You’re probably going to spend the rest of your life telling him how cute he is and not expect him to tell you how cute you are too. Not only that you should also expect that your family budget will project a higher amount for his clothes and accessories than your feeding!

2. Brutish Bamidele: This one is certainly the kind of guy you shouldn’t say yes to unless you are skilled in martial arts and you probably have a black belt. He’s always violent, always has a pack of cigarettes in his car, quarrels with keke drivers on the way, always reeks of alcohol, never concedes an argument no matter how wrong he is, says things like “women talk too much… they deserved to be thrashed to keep them in their place”, calls his mother a whore, verbally abuses his sisters and is so possessive when it comes to you that he’s ready to beat up any guy he sees hanging around you. Of course when he’s with you, he’s generally nice, pays you compliments and treats you like you are the centre of his world. He tells you all other women are sluts and you are so different. He tells you he cannot live without you and buys you beautiful gifts. Once in a while he hits you when he’s angry and tells you it is your fault for getting him angry. Then he buys you gifts and begs you not to leave him or he will surely die. Brutish Bamidele is a brute in every sense of the word and you are not the one to tame him if his mother couldn’t. Stop giving yourself stupid reasons for considering saying yes to him unless you don’t mind sentencing yourself to a lifetime of abuse.

3. Egoistic Emeka: If there is anyone you should avoid saying yes to then it is Egoistic Emeka. He’s the guy that believes everything should revolve around him. He’s only happy when the discussion is about him. He’s not really vain he just has a big ego. He’s very self-centered and doesn’t mind how much he’s going to inconvenience you just to have his needs met. He’s only in a good mood when you praise him, talks about his dreams and achievements without paying a listening ear to yours, becomes angry whenever you receive a commendation or award at work, is extremely competitive and doesn’t mind keeping you awake through the night complaining about his colleague at work who seems to have an edge over him, dominates every conversation with tales of his prowess, remains moody when you get something he desires until you hand it over to him and sulks when he doesn’t get his way. If you are in a relationship with Egoistic Emeka then you should think of calling it quits now before it is too late unless you don’t mind stroking someone’s ego for the rest of your life. Men generally have big egos but when it is such that he is highly insecure then it is very unhealthy and will pose issues for you in the future.

4. Inconsistent Ignatius: This one never holds down a job. He has great dreams and thinks his bosses are all worthless and if he were to see just one million naira he’ll start up his dream business and in no time they will be calling him “Sir”. He always knows how best things should be done, speaks articulately, has dreams of grandeur and talks about how much money he’s going to have soon without ever working hard at anything. He has very bad money habits, keeps borrowing money from you and can even gamble with his last dime. He’s always optimistic about how much he’s going to make from an imaginary deal and yet never achieves anything. His dreams change every now and then. Today he’s so sure he wants to own a computer center and tomorrow he wants to be a footballer. He let’s you pay for everything you do together, cabs, dinners and even recharge cards. Unless you’re ready to be the one to foot all the bills in that relationship and be the breadwinner when you get married you have no business dating a guy like Inconsistent Ignatius.

roses

5. Slutty Sule: Ok I know the word slutty is normally used to describe lose females but there are some guys that flirt so much that they deserve to be called sluts. Slutty Sule is the typical nice guy. He knows exactly how to please a lady. He buys you gifts, sends romantic text messages, leaves roses at your doorstep, opens the car door for you to enter, pulls out the seat for you when you go out and gives a listening ear when you are speaking. On the face of it, Slutty Sule seems to be the perfect guy but something tells you that you’re not the only woman in his life. One minute he’s telling you how much he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you and the next he’s staring at one yellow paw-paw that struts past him never mind that she may not even be as pretty as you. He’s always carefully guarding his phone, answering calls from different girls and smelling of different feminine perfumes which he claims is nothing. When you see him with a different girl he’ll be quick to tell you that it’s his great grand sister’s niece. Well, unless you’re ready to be fighting with different girls everyday he’s definitely not the man to say yes to.

So ladies while you’re having fun this festive season and making yourself available for Mr. Right to find be yourself, remain steadfast and remember these 5 guys you must never say yes to.

Dare to be yourself…

Femmetotale

 

 

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How to get the girl of your dreams III

© Copyright 2009 Corbis Corporation

The weekend is here again and today we say goodbye to the old month and welcome to the new. I see you dancing to the TGIF tune and planning your fun for the weekend. Well, here’s a little something to add to your fun right here on Femmetotale. Still on how to get the girl of your dreams, we’ve got some tips on how to get that girl you want, bearing in mind that we should seek what we deserve and not merely what we desire. If you missed the other editions then please click here and here to see the background to this post.

Meanwhile, I came across this funny video. I think it is old but I found it to be so true of girls that I just had to share it.

Are we ladies really this complicated? What am I even saying? We are really that complicated, reading meanings into things that are perfectly simple and nagging a guy into frustration. Well, before I go spilling the beans and spoiling the fun, why don’t you watch it yourself and see if it is true!

So about getting the girl you want, here are some more tips that are sure to get you what you want.

#3. Show confidence: If you’ve prepared yourself well and made sure that you make a good first impression, the next thing you have to remember is that you should show confidence. Confidence is a very attractive garment and it looks good on anybody as long as it is not excessive. Overconfident people are just plain annoying. Confidence is the reason why some people who have no business being on TV have our attentions and we nod to the beats of their music (I won’t mention names but you get the drift. 😀 ). It doesn’t necessarily have to do with having a lot of money in your bank account but having a deep sense of worth and value of yourself. You know, it’s funny how a dog can sniff out your fear and bark louder as soon as it notices that you are afraid. Somehow, girls know when you are acting really nervous and it puts them ill at ease like, “if you have something to say then say it already.” Don’t worry if she’s particularly making you nervous just keep your cool. The next thing you must pay attention to is her body language.

#4. Read the signs: Girls say a lot of things without really saying them. The greatest challenge men have in relationships is the ability to read body language. It is a great social skill that everybody should have. Every smart girl should know how to read a man’s body language and that’s what the girl in the video should have been smart enough to know or did she? You judge. These signs are often universal except for a few that are peculiar to people from particular regions. For instance, when an Indian is saying yes, we Nigerians may think he’s saying no. Apart from that there are basic body signs every guy should know.

  • If you’re talking to a girl and she’s shifting from foot to foot and looking around her impatiently then you can tell that she’s bored and can’t wait to get away from you.
  • If she keeps touching her ears while you’re talking and looking at anybody else but you then you can tell that she has no interest in what you’re saying and can’t wait to get away from you.
  • If her hands are on her hips, then she might be waiting, impatiently or just tired
  • Pay attention to the feet! A fast tapping, shifting of weight, or movement of the foot will most often mean that she is impatient, excited or nervous.
  • Okay, this is one that I find totally hilarious. Some people may point their feet to the direction of where they want to go or sometimes towards their interest. So if it’s pointing at you, she may be interested in you. If she leans forward while you’re speaking then she’s interested in listening to you.

These few tips on body language should be able to get you on the right note. You can find out more on how to read body language by simply reading books about it. At least I know I did. It’s a great social skill.

More tips coming right up on this column. Don’t forget to drop your comments and let’s see if these tips really do work.

Keep being complete!

Femmetotale

PS: Sorry I was unable to upload the video. Will upload later tonight. Last First Date is still up! Remember you can share your own bizarre dating experience with us. Just send a mail to alicia_davids@yahoo.com

The green eyed monster II

green eyed monster

Monster Alert!!!
Don’t read this if you’re afraid of the dark, vampires, blood or scary green-eyed monsters!

Remember my post about the green eyed monster? Well this is the part II. If you missed the first part then you can click here to read it. You will understand this post better if you read the first part. You won’t believe this but it is so true. I saw the green eyed monster today, shooting sparks of hot green lava.

Ok, that was just my pretend-scary-face. I do not watch horror movies or anything about vampires or monsters (romantic movies don finish for market? Even if they do finish I’ll just go ahead and create mine 😉 ). I don’t see why anyone would enjoy watching horror movies biko. What’s fun about watching a grown man in scary costume with tomato ketchup on his mouth chasing innocent kids to gobble them up or vampire human-bats swooping down out of the sky to sink their teeth into the necks of their preys (call it twilight oh, twilight saga, etc they can’t see my back view at the cinema no matter how many intriguing Ads they show)? I mean, there’s enough scary stuff going on in the world without re-enacting them in movies. Just tune onto CNN and you’ll understand.

Ok, enough with the horror movies bashing (and don’t say I’m just talking cos I’m scared of horror movies :)) let’s get down to the main gist. I saw a real life green-eyed monster today and no it wasn’t on TV. Have you ever been that girl that never gets picked up when you’re walking with your friend? You know, like Blair and Serena in Gossip girl. You’re Blair and your friend is Serena, get the picture now? Ok, if you never saw the TV series, Gossip girl then this is the gist, Serena is the bright, tall and cute blonde while Blair is a brunette who is also beautiful by all standards but always gets passed over for her best friend.

Ok, fast forward to today. Two girls, Ene and Tonia were walking home together after church and someone walked up (more like ran) to them and said hello to the fair one, Tonia. After the hello came a compliment to Tonia and a thank you from her. The darker one, Ene was left looking very green. What was the ‘greenness’ for? Tonia had been complimented on her sonorous voice and Ene decided in her mind that the fact that she was not complimented must have meant that she had a terrible voice. Both girls had sung together in the church that morning. You get the picture now?

So anyway, Ene went home that morning feeling murderously jealous of Tonia. Ene had always been known for her terrible temper and everybody at home knew she was mad about something that happened that morning so they all avoided her. She sat alone in her room fuming. Then she picked up her pen and did what she knew how to do best during her sour moods. Before long, she was smiling again.

However, something happened later that evening that completely changed Ene’s perspective on life. Sam, her cousin came to visit. He was doing his youth service and was new in town so he often came to their house for lunch on Sundays. While talking with her, he saw the notebook peeking out from beneath her pillow. He picked it up and read through the beautiful poetry Ene had written. “These poems are beautiful, really creative,” Sam said.

“They are songs,” Ene said and tried to snatch the notebook away from him. He was even more surprised. “Can you sing one for me?” Sam asked.

Ene was hesistant at first but she actually did sing it and Sam looked very impressed. “I never knew you were this good,” he said. “You could actually make a living from this.

“No one seems to think I can sing,” Ene became moody again.

Sam raised one eyebrow, “Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have the nicest voice I’ve ever heard. Your singing is actually not extra-ordinary but the music you wrote is excellent. How did you learn to write music like this?”

Ene shrugged and said, “It’s just my talent.” That was when she had an epiphany. Music was her talent alright but just not singing.

If you read ‘The Green-Eyed Monster I’ then it must have given you a background on this post. The thing is that jealousy always arises when we compare ourselves unfavourably to others. While Ene was busy envying her friend for her God-given talent she failed to realize that she had something beautiful within her too that may not have been like what her friend had.

Nobody was created without a special talent in her. When God gave talents to the 3 servants in the bible, He gave one 3 and the other 2 and the last, one. He gave something to each one according to their ability to utilise it (Matt 25:15-28). The remarkable thing is that you have the ability to utilise your talent to its full capacity. There is something within you, just reach down and find it. Instead of complaining about how God did not give you the kind of talent your friend has, ask him to reveal yours to you today.

I saw the green-eyed monster today.

Femmetotale.

Just a little Toxin

toxins

“Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.”

You know what toxins are? They are those little substances you introduce into your system whether knowingly or by chance. Sometimes they may seem harmless, just a bunch of substances that may be ejected from your system when ‘you do your thing’ later on. There are also other toxins that are introduced into your system, not by you this time but by other people around you. The funny thing is that you might never even know when those toxins get into your system and cloud up your mind, your heart, your blood vessels and shoot up your blood pressure. Don’t act so shocked, you’re guilty of spreading these toxins to others too. So, these toxins are just jumping around waiting for whose body to accumulate in until they form a large army strong enough to bring a hefty man down to the ground.

Just before you start wondering what I’m rambling about or if I’ve suddenly acquired a degree in medicine let me paint a little picture of how much these toxins affect our lives even without our knowing it. Early in the morning, you’re all dressed and ready to start the day suddenly you can’t find your shoes. You’re so certain you took it off at the door of your room and your first suspect is your sister who denies seeing it. Since you don’t want to be late, you pull out the next option which is your least favourite pair and storm out of the house. You have a presentation to make that day and feel you would have been more confident in that pair of shoe you couldn’t find. You got on a bus to go to work and because you’re still very angry with your sis for denying taking your shoes, you don’t even notice when you step on someone’s feet. He erupts like an enraged bull, ready to charge at you with his large horns. He calls you all sorts of derogatory names (ashewo, to start with), abusing your mother, your father, your grand and great grand-parents.  You apologize, wondering why he’s so angry. You didn’t even march him with your stiletto heels which you would have worn that morning if your sister hadn’t hidden it. You didn’t see the pain in his eyes or the brokenness in his face due to the disappointing call he just got that morning. His friend that was supposed to lend him money had disappointed him. He used to be an easy going person before he lost his job in a bank due to the recapitalization policy that affected his employers. Now, he just doesn’t care who he vents his anger on. He’s at war with the whole world. On your own part, you are so sure your day has been poisoned by his reaction. In fact, the period within which you were searching for your shoes was the prelude that ushered in the disasters for that day, never mind that his reaction may have been worse if you had worn the stilettos you couldn’t find that morning. Your toxins were already accumulating before he dumped his extra on you. Later that night when you get home, your sister meets you at the door with the pair of shoes in her hand. She had found it at the back door. Then you remember that you had been so tired the evening you last wore those shoes that you flung them off at the back door, eager to get to your room and sleep.

Do you get the picture now? Do you see how toxins come into our lives sometimes with little or no efforts from us? It’s just crazy how we stir up stress in our lives. I once told a friend that we’ll be amazed how high our blood pressure could get over some insignificant things. Many people are hurting or in trouble and are seeking for whom to transfer their aggressions on. It hits you everywhere as long as you make some sort of human interaction. It could be from that market woman that abused you when you were bargaining with her. You had no way of knowing that her husband had brought in a second wife into her house the day before. Maybe it was that security man that banged the gate in your face before you could tell him the name of the person you wanted to visit in his office. You had no way of knowing that he had not been paid his salary for three months. Or maybe it was the girl at the fast-food joint that kept attending to people behind you while you tried without success to get her to attend to you and you became really maaad. You had no way of knowing that she had been on her feet all day and had not eating anything since the night before, and there you were looking like you didn’t have a care in the world. I could go on and on but I’m sure you can even think of one toxin that had been dumped on you today.

A popular adage says that you can’t stop a bird from flying over your head but you can prevent it from perching on your head. We can’t always stop people from transferring their toxins on us but we sure can stop those toxins from sitting in our minds. I know it’s annoying to have someone rain abuses on you for stepping on his foot especially when you’ve apologized sincerely. If you’re the emotional type it may even make you cry and it can mess up your whole day. As for me, I always try to remind myself that there is nothing I can do about what someone does to me. I can only deal with how I react. So these days, I’m quick to notice when I’m allowing toxins to build up in my system over irrelevant things. I’m also quick to detect when someone is dumping her toxins on me and I try as much as possible to avoid it. So the next time anyone wants to dump his toxins on me, I’m going to smile and smile and smile until the devil is so mad he decides to burst out from hell…lol…no fear… that won’t happen until we’re in heaven.

Have a toxin-free day!

Femmetotale

The approval syndrome

approval syndrome

There is a very popular syndrome that most ladies suffer from. It doesn’t have the regular symptoms that can be treated with a couple of pills taken at specific times of the day. It doesn’t come up at certain periods in a month and go down unless it has been completely satisfied. You cannot wish it away or bully yourself into looking past its existence. It can sometimes raise your temperature so high that even the world’s strongest thermometer would hesitate to detect it. I am talking about something that is often overlooked but always rears its head up in the lives of most ladies. It’s called the approval syndrome.

It happens to even the best of us, especially when we are overly concerned about the way people view us. We see it in most areas of our lives. Every lady wants to be the best looking lady in the room. Even the shyest girl still feels special when she’s got eyes on her. Somehow it makes her feel like she’s very attractive and special. Well, that’s for the times when you actually look good. The approval syndrome doesn’t seem like a very harmful one when you are being appreciated by people you come across. When however, you enter a gathering and find that your dress appears to be the least expensive or the dullest, I can only imagine what your mood will be throughout that day. Some girls have been known to enter bouts of depression just because she’s the least attractive in a gathering.

Just think about the last time you dressed up just before leaving your house, perhaps it was just this morning. What were the thoughts that centered on your mind before you chose the outfit you eventually wore? If I am to make a guess I’ll say you were probably thinking of wearing something that would give people a good impression about you, or you dressed for the role that you want to fit into (maybe you wore a formal dress because you need people to see you as a serious working-class lady) or you wore something comfortable for the activities you planned to engage in that day (you wouldn’t want to be caught dead wearing an evening gown to ‘daytime’ lectures). There’s an appropriate code in every civilized society and everyone suffering from the approval syndrome needs those pills to feel normal.

We all have a little bit of the approval syndrome manifesting in us. I realized that for very simple things like the dress I wear, I would only feel happy about myself if I felt that other people approved of it. A friend of mine once said that if she lives through a day without anyone telling her she looks beautiful then she would feel very bad throughout that day. Now that’s a bit extreme and it would be a very silly reason to feel good about yourself.

Why would we need someone to approve us? It is like saying someone holds the key to your happiness. How difficult can it be to just sign the approval yourself? It is still your life right? I’ve realized that sometimes we lock ourselves in the prison of our own making and hand over the keys to persons that don’t matter. Now I’m not trying to say that we should not listen to other people’s contributions to our lives or their opinions regarding us. On the contrary, it is quite normal to adhere to the regular codes of society. Don’t leave your house wearing only your birthday suit except of course you are in the early stages of ‘man in the state of nature’…lol…that’s my way of saying ‘early stages of madness. Those codes are there for a reason. The only difference is that you shouldn’t let the opinions of other people who you may not even know control your happiness. Are you still constantly battling with people’s approval before you take a decision? Do you give up on things just because someone does not approve? Have you let go of ideas for lack of approval from people? This may be your chance to seek God’s approval and once you have it then take the wheels and find what you want yourself.

Femmetotale

Your break will come

black-woman-paying-bills

Some days are just like that. You wake up in the morning, stretch on your bed like a cat for a few moments and smile to yourself, ready to start the day. Then you start to notice that something is just not normal about the day. You draw your curtains and sniff in the cold air, fully expecting the darkness to give way to the light but you realize that something is definitely wrong. With every tinge of light, the dark clouds advance even more and it dawns on you that it’s going to be one of those dark rainy days. Just like that, your excitement that morning is replaced by a somber mood that lingers all through the day.

First you got to the office late because you couldn’t find your umbrella and even when you thought the rains had finally subsided and stepped outside, the torrents increased immediately as though it was waiting for you to fall into its traps. The day doesn’t get any better. Just because you arrived at the office late, you were unable to complete your task for that morning and you got a heavy dose of shouting from your irritable boss (there’s no way of telling whether there were ants in her chemise or something) and every other thing that day goes that way and you find yourself wishing you could just get a break from life. The job you’re doing is just that…a job. Somewhere your passion lies untended because you have to put food on your table first before thinking about living your dreams. You feel as though your dreams have been neatly packaged in a box and set adrift the sea that never flows backwards.

I read an inspiring write up by Tyler Perry, a man whose name is synonymous with success in the world of television. He wrote about the years he spent as a shoe shiner, a car sales man with a dream which he almost never believed would one day come to pass. Today, he boasts of an empire and people wonder the secret of his success. He never knew that the years spent in struggle were preparing him for his future.

I also know a boy who had so much hopes and dreams for the future. Sometime in his teenage years, his dreams were thwarted and he found himself in a strange land, a slave with no hope or future. The story got worse and the storm clouds of his life darkened even more. Somewhere in his heart, he held a candle of hope, refusing to give up on his dreams or his beliefs. He didn’t allow his circumstances to define him and he held tenaciously to his faith. Did he know that the period he spent in the prison was preparing him for a lifetime of administration and governance of a great nation? Did he know that the people he met in the prison were the ones that would introduce him to his destiny? Did he have any idea how his vision would come to pass? Before you give up hope just remember that the one who has the manual for your life knows your end and he promises that it will be beautiful. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Jer. 29:11.

Some days are just like that. The rains keep pouring and it doesn’t seem like it will ever stop. Are you at that point when life starts to look so bleak and it seems like you will never get a break? Are your dark clouds getting even darker and the story of your life seems to have no happy ending? Now is the time to remind yourself that your break will come. The night does not last forever. Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. Rejoice for as sure as the dawn, your break will surely come.

Femmetotale

To take a stand

take_a_standI was that kind of girl and some times I think I still am. I loved to sit on the fence. Wow, what peaceful, problemless (if there’s a word like that) existence it was. I didn’t have to worry about anyone disagreeing with me. I didn’t have to offend anyone. I didn’t have to make any explanations. I was good at being the only opinionless person. In fact, the first time I learned the meaning of the word, lukewarm I was very happy. Not too hot and not too cold. Suited me just fine. That was many years ago. Today, I have learned that there is no such word in existence (problemless and opinionlessness, I mean).

As we advance in life, several situations will always arise where we will be required to take a stand. It cannot be avoided. No matter, what sometimes, we can’t avoid offending someone because someone must be offended by our actions or inaction. If  you express an opinion that is against  someone else’s opinion then she would be offended and even if you decide not to express your opinion, someone would surely be offended by your failure to say something. Being grown up entails being able to take a stand. You must always stand for something.

Taking-A-Stand-Button-(0101)

Unfortunately, it’s not possible to please everyone and taking a stand sometimes means standing alone. Your loved ones and your friends may not agree with you. What then do you do? Is there any way to avoid taking a stand? Yes there is and I am happy to announce to you that the only way to do that would be to live on an island away from civilization and other human beings. 

Those guys in the bible, you know the ones with those long difficult-to-pronounce names; Shedrach, Meshack and Abednego (BTW I’ve met ppl bearing the first two names but I’m yet to meet anyone called Abednego…hmm) those guys were really radical guys that took a stand despite the danger. I sometimes prefer to read it as a bible story and imagine that the fiery furnace was just a touch of computer graphics here and there but…it was as real as the story. What would I have done in their shoes? Hmm…your guess is as good as mine. I don’t think I would have done anything different from what you would have done. That’s where the issue of strong convictions come into play. They must have been pretty convinced about what they believed in to take such a stand. So, what do you believe in? Are your convictions strong enough for you to take a stand? If no, then I have to tell you that you are lukewarm.

It is not possible to be lukewarm or sit on the fence. In fact you will be worse off being lukewarm. Check out what I found out about being lukewarm that made me learn to take a stand kia kia! I was forced to change my mind about it when I read Rev. 3 about the lukewarm church. Mehn… I had to quickly take a stand.  The early Christians chose to take a stand even at the point of death. Most of us have never even faced a life and death situation for the sake of our faith and yet we hide what we believe. Surprisingly, it is easier to hear someone say, ‘I don’t believe that there is a God in heaven than it is to hear someone say, I believe in God.” Just for the sake of not sounding too churchy or the fear of being ostracized by our peers, we’d rather not say it. I sometimes wonder if God would be as ashamed of us as we are to admit our follower-ship  of him but then I know He is not like man and He sees things differently from us.

With the benefit of hindsight now I just laugh when I think about the dread of pressure from peers. We are always so preoccupied with thoughts of what will people say that we would rather act like them.The funny thing is that we always act like we want to be different from our peers, to stand out and accomplish great things yet when the chips are down our mouths get frozen. In fact, the only way you can distinguish yourself from others is by being different. Learn to take a stand and to take the lead. Now may be your only chance to take a stand.

Femmetotale